


The Creed

by 247Elena



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Assassin Alec Lightwood, Bad Parenting but they do love their children, Badass Alec, Blood and Gore, But that's to establish Alec's storyline, But they still fucked up, Clary focus for one chapter, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Human Trafficking - Brief, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kinda scary Alec, M/M, Malec, Medical sort of stuff that is most likely incorrect, OCs as the plot requires, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parabatai Feels, anyway..., because I have no idea where this is going, i'm going to stop tagging now, obviously, wtf is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-04-07 09:56:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 53,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14078361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/247Elena/pseuds/247Elena
Summary: "I don't understand why-""War is on the horizon, Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood," The other figure cut Maryse off. "There is little denying that and you are foolish to believe that you wouldn't in some way, shape or form have to make sacrifices for it."---------When Alec came back, he wasn't the same. Jace had felt the twinge of happiness that Alec felt when he saw them again but it was fleeting and once again he was faced with the same feeling had for the past nine years. A muffled echo of his lost brother and an emptiness that had filled his void.





	1. Prologue: The Creed

**Author's Note:**

> So, in case you didn't get it from the tags, first time posting here and it's all thanks to the encouragement of a fellow author TheUsagi1995, and you all should check out her works if you haven't already since her writing is amazing me. 
> 
> Fair warning though, I haven't read the Mortal Instruments series and have only seen the show and looked up certain lore to help me write this story. Also, I have no idea about this story, it's a little out there because it goes canon divergent pretty quickly. I had recently finished playing Assassin's Creed Origins and then replayed one-three again. It gave me the idea to incorporate the Assassin's Brotherhood into a Shadowhunter setting. I then had to think how doing that, so I then had to look at the Iron Sisters and the Silent Brothers and their origins. Honestly, have no idea whether I'm going to do this any justice. But the idea has been bouncing around in my head and I just want to give this a go and see how it turns out. 
> 
> So you'll see a lot of Assassin's Creed lore in this, but of course with Shadowhunters' setting, so it'll be different. I dearly apologize in advance if this reads like a rambled mess.

"Nothing is true; everything is permitted."  
-  
When they were younger, it was a dream to be accepted into one of the orders. Childish thoughts manipulated by a parent's word about how it was an honour and a privilege to be one of the Sisters and Brothers. Isabelle was obsessed with the Iron Sisters, yearned to be one of the sacred to forge weapons and have the grace of the Angels at her fingertips. Jace, however, had been content to be a warrior and he was perfect at it much to Maryse and Robert's joy. Alexander had thought that the only way to impress his parents would be to join the Silent Brothers. It was an extreme thought, but his young mind had only wished for his parent's approval and if he wasn't the best at being a Shadowhunter maybe he could at least do something his parents would approve of. He had never expressed this thought, the Silent Brothers were feared by even the Nephelim for the power and knowledge they possessed. But the years went on and he and Jace had become parabatai and Izzy and lost her enthusiasm for the Iron Sisters. 

It became obvious that Jace was favoured by his parents. They saw a son that was everything Alec was not. He was stronger, faster, efficient in ways Alec hadn't become yet. Maryse and Roberts adoration of Jace had increased over recent years much to Izzy and Alec's jealousy. They couldn't compete when it was obvious that there was a failure in every step that they took towards gaining their parents approval.

When he had turned fourteen, Alec had noticed it. His parents were arguing more than usual, something was wrong and Alec could tell something was going to happen. One night they had rushed into his room with hushed whispers and frantic movements, 'Pack your bags, Alexander' 'Hurry up, we don't have much time'. Alec's sleep-hazed mind had worked on autopilot, his bleary eyes blinking away the sleep as he clumsily put on his shoes, his mother and father already having his bag packed by the time he had managed to get himself dressed.

"What's going on?"Alec asked, his father's hand coming down to squeeze his shoulder. The tenderness shocked Alec, causing his stomach to flip and drop at the looming dread that was washing over him. Alec studied his mother's face as she hurried them down the hallway. His eyes roaming over her face, smoothed and blank. But her eyes, his mother had looked at him with something foreign. Sadness and maybe regret shone down at him. "What happened?"

Neither of his parents replied. Alec had learned to cherish the moments when his parents had shown such care with him. The rare moments where he felt as they were more of his parents rather than his instructors. Where he could pretend the weight of the world wasn't on his shoulders, and they looked at him more as a son rather than the heir of the New York Institute. But this moment, they didn't look at him with pride nor disapproval, it was fear and remorse. And that was worse than the years of disappointment he had gotten from them.

The Institute was deathly quiet at whatever hour his parents had decided to drag him from his room. It seemed abandoned when it shouldn't be, the hum of the machines was the only noticeable sign that this place was alive and active. Alec hadn't even noticed the shadowed occupants of the training room when his parents had halted in their rushed footsteps. For the briefest of moments, Alec had thought that his parents were now getting him to train after dark. It wouldn't be a shock if that was their intention all along.  
The two figures emerged, if Alec hadn't been wired with alertness, he would have jumped at the appearance of the two from seemingly nowhere. An air of illusion cloaking around the figures dissipating at their emergence. 

"You could have least warned us that you were coming tonight," Roberts scowled lowly. "He didn't even get to say goodbye to his siblings."

"You shouldn't have been holding off the inevitable," Replied one of the figures cooly.

"I don't understand why-"

"War is on the horizon, Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood," The other figure cut Maryse off. "There is little denying that and you are foolish to believe that you wouldn't in some way, shape or form have to make sacrifices for it."

Maryse's face cracked then, as though the words had cut her deeply like a sharpened blade, and for the first time, Alec saw a desperate mother pleading for her child. An iron shield that she had built for herself had cracked and crumbled away and all Alec wanted to do was to wrap his arms around her, to soothe whatever turmoil was swirling inside her head. 

"Please," Maryse begged. "He's just a boy, he shouldn't pay for our sins."

The two figures sighed, whether out of exasperation or understanding, it wasn't clear to Alec at the time.

"Alexander will be well cared for, you have my word," The figure closest to them spoke softly before kneeling down in front of Alec. Only now could Alec see the shadowed figures. Although Alec couldn't see the figures face, a hood obscuring it from view, there was an air of grace. The long jacket, quilted with complex designs that Alec couldn't understand and shaded with an ebony black, concealed much of Alec's sight as such was its purpose. A gloved hand reached for Alec's, not forceful yet expecting. Alec didn't reach for the hand, instead going to look back to his parents, waiting for their approval and hoping that they could say something. Because he knew what was happening. He was being sent away. Why, he had no idea. When Maryse and Robert both nodded their heads, Alec felt the crush of hope dwindle away from him. They weren't going to stop it, they wouldn't plead further nor fight it. Resignation settled quickly and he yet again felt a failure on his part. If it were Jace or Izzy or Max...

"Will we see him again?" Robert asked, his voice strained.

"Perhaps after training if that's where the Creed takes him."

A portal opened behind them, breaking the somber silence that had settled in like collective dust in an attic untouched. Before the three could leave, Maryse had enveloped Alec into a tight hug, perhaps hoping that she could be strong enough to keep him there.

"I'm so proud of you Alexander, never forget that," Silent tears now streaking her face as she cupped Alec's cheeks and gently kissed his forehead as a final goodbye.

Robert kneeled before Alec, pulling him into an equally strong hug, "We love you, Alec." 

Alec never said anything back, the shock had rendered him speechless. The shock from both his parent's acclamations and with the dawning thought that he may never step back into the institute. He may never see his little sister, Izzy or Max again. His parabatai, his brother, they weren't supposed to be apart, they were one. Yet he was being sent away without reason. His parents, he had finally made them smile at him, although it was glazed with sadness. Perhaps that was why he didn't scream or cry as he walked through that portal. Perhaps that was why he never asked why after that.  
-


	2. The Plight of Jocelyn Fray

The Shadowworld had settled into a restless peace over the past fifteen years since the Uprising of Valentine and his ultimate 'demise'. The unspoken, unaddressed truth of what Valentine and his Uprising meant had been the elephant in every shadowhunter's room with regards to the Downworld. Even though Valentine was gone, his idea remained and those who had agreed were still there.

  
Magnus Bane was a full believer in the idiom that ignorance is bliss, the Nephilim were a shining example, and it was only going to be a matter of time before all hell broke loose. Magnus would deny the fact that for the briefest of moments he had wanted to put his faith in the Nephilim with their false promises of change and unity because he wasn't a naive fool who suckled from the tit of liars and deceivers. Whether or not Valentine was dead, it didn't lessen the implications the Circle meant for the Downworld. He could only hope that the destruction caused by such ideas would be minimal but he knew it wouldn't be and he was going to prepare for the worst.

  
\--------------  
The mission was easy enough. Jace had been expecting an ordinary mission, seeing as that was what they always seemed to be doing now. Not that Jace didn't enjoy killing demons. He loved it. But to say that there was a redundancy in the chore would be a lie, especially when there was an aspect of it that seemed missing. Subconsciously Jace's hand grazed his parabatai rune, faded but still there, a shadow of what it used to be. In the beginning, it was worse. Not knowing. Not that it wasn't still painful, because it was, it was just more manageable. The thought that Alec, his brother, was somewhere he couldn't reach was the hardest part of it. Izzy and he had screamed their lungs out till they were hoarse, kicked and fought their parents like animals that morning.

  
_"Alexander's gone away for a while."_

  
Jace slid his seraph blade into his scabbard.

  
_"He's doing something great and will honour our family name."_

  
Jace got out his stele, activating his glamour rune, positioning himself on the overhanging roof, watching the shapshifter move towards the nightclub.

  
_"You won't understand it now but you will with time."_

  
The shapshifter bumps into a passerby, its form shimmering into a slender female form, eyes glowing with the change.

  
_"Alec wouldn't leave us without saying goodbye!"_

  
Jace closes his eyes before giving a nod to signal Izzy, the two jumping from the rooftop in unison, landing elegantly behind the shapeshifter.

  
_"He did, Isabelle! And you both will just have to learn to accept that."_

  
As the shapeshifter moves to enter the nightclub, Pandemonium, both brother and sister move to follow.

  
_"Why would he leave?"_

  
As Jace moves, unobservant of the crowd of people around him, he bumps into a red head girl.

  
_"He's been accepted into the Creed. His sacrifice and this family's is hard but it is for the greater good. You should be proud."_

  
"Hey," The girl said affronted by Jace's rudeness. "Can you watch where you're going?"

  
Jace's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You can see me?"

  
"Yeah, that's kind of the point, but you obviously didn't see me," The girl replied, seeming somewhat unaware of how Jace was studying her.

  
"You have the Sight," Jace stated plainly, the words becoming lost to the girl who now wore a perplexed expression.

  
"Wait, the what?"

  
"How can I not know who you are?" Jace asked himself.

  
"Has that line seriously ever worked for you? Even once?" The girl replied, seeming the take Jace's comment as a very poorly given pickup line.

  
"Jace! Come on," Izzy called from the club entrance.

  
Jace hesitated as he turned to leave, keeping his eyes on the red head as if he could suddenly figure out what was so different about her. As he entered Pandemonium, there was an aura of heat, as though the air itself was heavy and thick. No one seemed aware, or perhaps they didn't care, about the shady dealings transpiring in the club's crowd. The shapeshifter glided through the masses of people and not too far behind her, Jace and Izzy followed undetected.

  
Two men stood, out of place in their black suits amougst the barely clothed crowd, around them the crowd seemed to gravitate away.The shapeshifter moved with cause, walking up to the gentlemen and extending out its hand with the offering. To anyone caring to look it would look like any drug deal occurring between club goers but to the more observant, it was obvious it was anything but.  
\-----------  
Magnus was quite enjoying his night out, as much as he could when it had become his daily routine. Not that he didn't love the atmosphere but unfortunately he recognised its purpose. Distraction. Superficial momentary happiness. But it wasn't like he was going to knock something that's been working for near a century now.

  
As Magnus goes to take a long sip of his heavenly drink, he glances the two Nephilim converses with a woman or shapeshifter he should say. Honestly, Magnus couldn't be bothered if Nephilim chose to partake at his club but seeing the Circle runes graces these men's necks set a dangerous mood for Magnus. For Magnus, the club was silent. No thump of the bass from the music. Not a single person's obssessing chatter between groups of friends and strangers. Not the giggles from the faeries using their charms on idle strangers. It was as if all of the club had emptied and a heavy silence had blanketed it. Reality differed to what Magnus saw, however, and the club was still vibrant with hectic energy.

  
"Circle members aren’t allowed in my club," Magnus said casually, a tinge of warning laced it heavily and a dangerous glint played around him as he stepped in front of the two gentlemen.

  
Either the two men hadn't noticed this shift of Magnus or they stupidly didn't care. "No worries, warlock," Said one of the Circle members, Blackwell Magnus believed his name was. "It's all ancient history."

  
Magnus cocked his eyebrow at the response. "Really?" Magnus's hand shot up, blue wisps snaking from his fingertips and curling around the other man's throat, coiling, as his eyes shone an amber yellow, slits showing. " To me, it was like a blink of an eye."

  
"We've endured worse," the other one chocked out in short breaths.

  
Magnus's eyes darkened, "You've inflicted worse. Leave." Magnus's demand cut through the men like a sharp knife cutting through flesh, savagely ebbing his wrath into their being. The threat was worse than any physical threat, filled with the knowledge of unspeakable torments of pain and grief.

  
\--------------  
A silent man stood watching expressionlessly on a nearby building as Clarissa Fairchild drove away in a taxi, leaving her two friends dumbfounded and confused and another two men watching intently. Not too long after Clarissa's departure had Jace and Isabelle emerged from the club, the man halted slightly in his place. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to ignore his emotions like a person trying to ignore an itch. Alexander Lightwood smothered the grief before it could consume him, his expression not faltering. If he allowed for himself to feel then that would mean that he had lost something, his hand drifting up to his parabatai rune, ghosting over it and perhaps he was afraid that if he allowed it, Jace may look up at him. He didn't have anything to grieve for.

  
So why was he having to remind himself of that constantly?

  
"It's okay to feel, Alec," A female voice spoke out. If Alec were any less aware of his surroundings he may have jumped.

  
"I don't like you sneaking up on me like that, Evie" Alec replied, ignoring her statement entirely.

  
"An assassin should always be aware of their surroundings... even if it is another assassin who is following them," Evie responded, entirely aware of Alec dodging the question but choosing to let it go for now. "Those men are following Clarissa."

  
"I know, they've just acquired mundane blood for Valentine," Alec turned back to Evie. For the past nine years, Evie and her twin brother Jacob had become a mix close mentors, friends and parental figures of Alec's. Alec's memories of his own parents weren't overly fond ones, but he knew despite it that they had loved him in a twisted sense of honour and pride that they envisioned for him. Evie's expertise remaining in stealth and Jacob's on hand-to-hand combat, both of the twin's strengths turning into Alec's.  
What had surprised Alec when first encountering the Creed was that it wasn't just Nephilim who encompassed the ranks of the Creed like they had been led to believe as children. The Creed had an intricate network of Nephilim, Downworlder and Mundane organisations throughout the Shadow World. Evie and Jacob themselves being vampires, Alec had been taught not to rely on his Nephilim abilities, that reliance caused unpreparedness when the unexpected occurred. As a result, Alec often didn't use his Nephilim abilities while out on assassinates or scouting missions, although if he needed he was trained to use them. An assassin must conform to new environments like it's their second nature, a second skin that they can shed when needed. It doesn't matter who you were before, all that matters is what you can become.

  
"It'd be easier to eliminate them right now," Alec continued, his fingers flexing slightly out of instinct.

  
"That doesn't eliminate the possibility that they have already notified Valentine," Evie countered, shaking her head. "No, it's best that you get to Fairchild. I'll report back to the local Bureau, ensure that our promise to the Fairchilds is upheld."

  
As silent as a shadow, Alec lept from the building, his footsteps soft as he moved to the Fairchild Residence, moving quickly through shortcuts and passages only common knowledge to the Creed. He could only hope that he would make it in time.

  
\-------  
Clary was so on the fritz. What the actual fuck had she just seen? It was like a lucid dream that she had invented into reality. God, had someone drugged her? Why, why, why. Her mum's going to have an ulcer.

  
"And then these creepy tentacles seemed to come out of the bodybuilder’s face, and… and then the guy just… vaporized. I mean, I was drugged, right?" Clary rattled frantically to her mother. She had never thought that drugs could feel so realistic, she supposed that was the allure of drugs but when could she have ever been spiked?

 

  
Jocelyn turned to Clary, "What did the markings look like on the blonde boy you were talking about?" Clary blinked at her mother. Out of the things her mother chose to focus on, it was that.

  
"Who cares, Mom, okay? Are you even listening to me? I think I killed a guy," Clary could feel her heartbeat pick up. Saying it made it all the more worse. Had she killed him? If he vapourised, she prayed that it was all part of a drug filled nightmare and none of it was at all real.

  
"Clary, did they look like this?" Jocelyn took her stele out, looking identical to the one that she had given Clary for her birthday, gliding it over her forearm and suddenly a strange rune burned red.

  
Oh god, Clary thought. "Mum, what the..."

  
Jocelyn's hands gripped Clary's shoulders, firm yet comforting. "Everything you saw tonight has a meaning and an explanation, and I’ve dreaded having this conversation with you since the day you were born."

  
"What is going on? Am I going insane?" Clary asked because it seemed the only logical reason this was all happening. Her eyes snapped to the window of the apartment as it appeared that the shadow she had once dismissed had formed to take shape. "Oh my god, Mum, someone's broken into the house!"

  
Jocelyn turned, and standing at the apartment window was a dark hooded figure concealed by the shadows yet illuminated by the moonlight.

  
"I've run out of time, haven't I?" Jocelyn questioned, more to herself than to the figure. She had been deluded, had grasped on the normalcy for too long when she should have been preparing.

  
"Two of his men have followed Clary here, no doubt he has been notified already," The hooded figure turned away from the window. "It's time, Jocelyn."

  
"Time? Time for what?" Clary asked, her eyes snapping to her Mum, wide with fear. "Who is this?"

  
Jocelyn cupped Clary's face, gliding her fingers down her daughter's face as though she was trying to soak in every last detail while she could. "The protections are wearing off now that you're eighteen. You have to know the truth."

  
Clary furrowed her eyebrows, "Protections? What does that even mean?" Clary reached her hand into her mother's, squeezing it. "Mum, you... Mum, you're scaring the hell out of me."

  
Jocelyn smiled sadly, "I know, and that's why I've put this off until the last possible minute." It was selfish, Jocelyn knew that. To put this all on Clary so suddenly and without warning. But, she was only human and to see Clary so happy for so long, it was something she would treasure for however long she may have left now.

  
"Time's run out," declared the hooded figure, watching as the red car pulled up to the side of the street, at the same time, Dot entered the room.

  
"Magnus warned us, they've found out." Dot added. Jocelyn nervously looked to the window and then back to Dot.

  
"Dot, it's time." Jocelyn turned to Clary. "Okay listen to me. You cannot be near me."

  
"What's happening?" Clary asked firmly, tiring of the lack of answers as the evening drew to be more weird by the second.

  
Jocelyn moved for the bookcase, her hands finding without hesitation a wooden box containing a necklace. Later Clary would think that her mother moved with practiced routine like she had planned for this instance to happen over and over again in her head. "I got a very powerful person angry."

  
When Clary looked at her mother, she couldn't find her. Instead, she was staring at a person she didn't know, "What did you do?"

  
"I hid something from him and his followers," Jocelyn replied without giving Clary clarity.

  
"Followers? Mom, why can’t we just call the police?"

  
"The policeman you need to call is Luke," Jocelyn spun Clary around, clipping the necklace she had retrieved from the box around her neck. "Keep this with you and think of me when you wear it."

  
"Mom, this is not the time for more birthday gifts. What the hell is happening?" Yet her questions continued to fall on deaf ears.

  
"Only if you need it." Dot walked up to Jocelyn handing to her a glowing green potion. Jocelyn nodded solemnly.

  
"Four more men have arrived, six in total now." The hooded figure spoke, moving from his position at the window. "I'll deal with them, take care of everything up here. I'll be back."

  
"Thank you," Jocelyn whispered before pulling Clary into a hug. "Trust your instincts. You're more powerful than you know."

  
\------  
Outside of the apartment, the four Circle members grouped

together as they talked in hushed tones in the darkly lit street, yet the light luminiously shining from their blades gave way to their presence.  
"Take Jocelyn alive," Pangborn instructed, "Find the Mortal-"

  
Before Pangborn could finish his sentence, a force descended from the sky, plunging down on two of the Circle members before they had the chance to cry from shock, blood pooling from their neck as the blades from the hooded assailiant seethed, hidden from sight once more.

  
There seemed to be a moment where the street had stilled. Neither the Circle members or the hooded figure had move. Alec would admit that there was a lull, mundanes would call it a calm before the storm. Nothing, not even it seemed the rats moved in the dumpsters at that moment.

  
But then Alec moved.

  
The Circle members could do nothing but watch in mute fear, the corpses of their two fallen comrades rotting at their feet, as the hooded figure became a blur between them, water flowing through pebbles. Barely a second had passed and Alec had reached for his kukri blade and stabbed Blackwell in the throat and Pangborn in the eye. Pangborn let out a blood curdling scream as he stumbled from the assault, at the same time Blackwell's body thudded to the ground. Not breaking stride, Alec slipped two throwing knives out, letting them fly towards their target of another Circle member. By the time Alec had collected himself, the remaining two Circle members were on him, Pangborn injured and the other unnamed one charging with slight hesitation.

  
Alec leaned back effortlessly as a seraph blade swung above him. Regaining his footing like a trained dancer, Alec's blade made its mark all over the Circle member's body, scattering him like dark red stars on a milky white sky. Before the Circle member had the chance to fall to the ground, Alec gave him a forceful kick in the chest, sending his heavy body into Pangborn.

  
Alec seethed his kukri and hidden blades, his eyes falling on a struggling Pangborn, the weight of the fallen Circle member proving to be a tough obstacle to overcome. Finally, Pangborn had reached into his pocket to grab his stele, shakily going to apply a strength rune before a heavy foot came down on his hand, crushing the bones within. Pangborn grunted in pain, his eyes sharply turning up to Alec. Alec paused as he stared at the terrified yet arrogant look on Pangborn, Alec felt his own face hardened. For all he had learned about his own kind, about the Nephilim, of their gifts and duties, he had also learned about their arrogance. How it had contorted into self-proclaimed righteousness over the downworld.

  
"W-who are you?" Pangborn grunted out through clenched teeth stained with blood, he coughed harshly, spluttering specks of blood across Alec's shoes.  
Alec kneeled down beside him, flipping the other Circle member's body off of him, revealing that ironically Pangborn had been pierced by his own seraph blade. From what Alec could see, it had fatally nicked his lungs, he'll drown within minutes if he was lucky, an hour if he wasn't.

  
"Your heartbeats picked up, you're finding it more difficult to breath every passing minute. If you remain calm you might prolong your life by a few minutes but I doubt you'll make it past twenty," Alec monotoned, idly grabbing the man's stele and pocketing it. "With these few last minutes, I want you to call Valentine, tell him that the Fairchild's are under Creed protection and tell him that he'll never touch them or the Mortal Instruments."

  
Alec turned away, running for the Fairchild apartment as he left the final Circle member to die alone on the street.  
\-----  
Back in the apartment, the storm had most certainly not lulled.

  
"Mom, I need to understand what’s—" Clary started, after that hooded man had left the apartment Clary was hoping to finally have just a moment to talk.

  
As though Jocelyn hadn't heard Clary, Jocelyn turned to Dot. "Dot, open it."

  
Dot's arm extended, her fingers uncurling as a blue hazy smoke, two shutter doors start to rattle and snapped open to turn into a portal. Clary gasped at that, her eyes finding it difficult to leave the swirling vortex that had appeared right before her eyes.

  
"Everything I’ve done, every mistake I’ve made was because I love you more than words," Clary's worry intensified then. Because these word coming from her mother were only sounding like a final goodbye.

  
"Mum, what are you doing?" Clary chocked out.

  
"Luke will explain everything. He’ll hide you." Jocelyn reassured soothingly.

  
"Hide me?" Why on earth would Luke need to hide her?

  
Jocelyn nodded, "From the Circle. He's the only one you can trust. Trust no one else."

  
"Mum, I don't-" Clary started, feeling too overwhelmed to even comprehend what her mother was telling her right now.

  
"Where's Luke now?" Jocelyn asked.

  
"At the police station!" Clary shouted, the sound of the portal drowning out the noises of the room.

  
"Remember, I love you." Jocelyn declared.

  
"Mom! Mom!" Clary cried back as she felt herself being pulled towards the portal, unable to fight against it.  
"Clary!"'

  
"Mum!"

  
At that moment Clary was sucked into the portal and it closed, letting the apartment fall into a dreadful silence. There was a sense of foreboding as both Dot and Jocelyn stared at the apartment door, waiting, Dot's hands raised and ready. Not long had the silence settled had the door opened. Out of instinct Dot had used her magic to lift a club and fling it at the intruder, only for his hand to quickly reach out and catch mere inches from his hand.

  
"The men are gone," Alec said, reaching a hand up to take off his hood. "For now at least."

  
Dot sighed heavily, releasing her magic and the club clattered to the ground as Alec dropped it. For a moment, the storm had seemed to pass but only for now.  
"It doesn't matter," Jocelyn muttered. "I can't let them find her."

  
Jocelyn moved to Clary's room, looking over everything. Clary's life was in here, every birthday card, every diary, every drawing. Jocelyn was going to destroy it, erase it from existence in order to protect Clary's. Tears had welled in Jocelyn's eyes, spilling down her cheeks unushered. Alec's eyes glanced at the bottle Jocelyn still had tightly gripped in her hands, so tightly that her knuckles had whitened and Alec feared the bottle would crack and break, then trading glances with Dot.  
"The rumours are true, Jocelyn," Alec spoke, walking over to her. "Valentine's alive. But the Creed is inclined to keep their promise to you and Clary. You can come to us, we will hide you where not even he can find you."

  
Jocelyn sighed, furiously wiping away the stray tears. "I can't do that to Clary, take her away-"

  
"You'll be doing worse if you take that potion," Dot said quietly. The potion had been a back up, a cyanide pill in a sense to be biten down on when cornered and it was something Dot hadn't liked making it for that reason, they may never get Jocelyn back.

  
"But still, Clary she can't- she won't be able to go into hiding like that," Jocelyn rambled.

  
"Luke will be there for her, Jocelyn," Dot reassured, "She's not in the dark anymore."

  
Alec chewed the corner of his lip. It wasn't his place to offer, yet in a moment he looked at the family and felt it his place. Perhaps he also saw it as his chance to stay, to insert himself, give himself reason other then the obvious to stay. "I'll keep an eye on Clary, I'll make sure the Circle don't go near her. I swear to you."  
Jocelyn's eyes glistened in the dimly lit room. She looked at Alec properly for the first time since he had been here. She had known what he was, who he had represented the moment he had come this evening but from her experience of dealing with Creed she had often forgotten that they were individuals as much as they liked to blanket themselves as a unified group and the sincerity he had spoken just then seemed so personal, so real.

  
"I don't even know your name," She replied though not with a distrustful tone. There was one thing she had learned about the Creed was their attitude towards the people and not just shadowhunters. And for that reason, Jocelyn had turned to them and not the Clave. The Clave was so single minded, so closed to the possibilities that one of their own could be so twisted, so evil. Yet the Creed didn't see blood. They didn't see demon, mundane or angel. They saw the nature of humanity, they saw what unified the downworld with the Nephilim. And that was their human side, the mundane part that linked them all. It seemed so contradicting that people who trained to be assassins would be some of the only people who she could entrust herself and Clary with. "You look so young. You're a shadowhunter, aren't you?"

  
"Was," Alec corrected her, because being a shadowhunter was vastly different to being a Nephilim in his eyes. "That was a long time ago. But my name is Alec."

  
A twinge of a smile curved on Jocelyn's face. "Alec..." Jocelyn repeated, as though she was testing the name on her tongue, sounding it out for taste. "Short for Alexander, isn't it?"

  
Alec nodded to her. "Thank you, Alec. Take care of her for me, please."

  
"Alright," Alec replied, bowing his head slightly. "There's a place. We'll take you there, from that point on one of our local warlocks will stay with you. He'll take you somewhere only he'll know, if something happens, if Clary wants to contact you or you want to contact her, it won't happen. If it's life or death, there's one way but it won't be for me or you to decide."

  
In that moment Jocelyn didn't know what was worst off, the potion or this. To think if Clary wanted to talk to her, she wouldn't be able to or if she wanted to see Clary, it wouldn't happen. But at least this way, when everything had calmed down, when Clary wouldn't be put at risk from being near her, she could come back without a worry.  
Jocelyn nodded, "Okay."

  
Alec turned to Dot, "You been to Sunset Park before?" When Dot nodded, Alec continued. "Portal Jocelyn there, wait ten minutes then leave."

  
"I'm not going to-" Dot started to argue.

  
"You'll have to," Alec stopped her. "This warlock... he's paranoid at the best of times. If he sees you with Jocelyn he might leave."

  
Alec pulled Jocelyn away from Dot, whispering in hushed tones out of ear reach of Dot before passing her a piece of paper. "I'll let him know you'll be there."

  
Jocelyn carefully tucked the piece of paper in her pocket, Dot opened yet another portal grabbing Jocelyn's hand. Before Jocelyn left she turned back to Alec, "Burn everything. Her room, anything that he could use. Burn it, leave nothing behind." And with that they walked through the portal and Alec was left alone, quickly he wrote a fire message to the warlock.

  
He then turned to Clary's room, tracing over the life of Clarissa Fray and not Clarissa Fairchild. Where she had had the luxury of not remembering her past life, Alec had remembered. She could do what she could without memories leashing her. And now, much like what had happened to Alec at the age of fourteen, her parent was going to burn away her life. With nothing but ashes for its memories for her to look back on. Alec gathered the drawings, the clothing, stuffed animals, the numerous paintbrushes and pencils into a pile on the bed. After he was done scouring the room for anything that could link back to Clary, old school reports and every birthday card, he drew a rune on the bedpost and set the room alight. Watching as sparks sputtered and suddenly erupt into flames, the fire crisping the many papers on the walls, the smoke pillowing at the ceiling of the room, a sickly black. Alec then rummaged through the rest of the apartment. If there was anything... he would find it.

  
\-------  
Clary had the urge to call her Mum, yet something was stopping her. Perhaps it was her instincts telling her that if she called, it would go to voicemail. Things were so confusing. What Dot did... what she herself had done that night, the man in the apartment with them. All she wanted to do was call her Mum, Simon perhaps but she feared that he wouldn't understand. Luke hadn't come out to see her yet and normally Clary would wait but with everything that had happened she just couldn't. Creeping to the door of Luke's office that had been left ajar, Clary knew she couldn't just barge in, so she waited silently. She may have walked away, left it alone but when her eyes caught sight of the markings on both of the men and woman, her eyes widened.

  
"The minute we found out Jocelyn Fairchild was alive, you were easy to track," The man said cockily.

  
Clary scrunched her eyebrows, "Fairchild?" It seemed her mother was becoming more of a stranger the more she found out.

  
"Turns out you and Jocelyn were never that far apart. The Circle has her now. It’s just a matter of time until we catch the daughter," The other man added, crossing his arms. Clary gasped slightly, covering her mouth in both shock and in an attempt to quieten herself.

  
"You can have them both if you give up the Mortal Cup." The woman said.

  
"I don’t care about either of them. They mean nothing to me. Kill them both if you like," Luke shot back with a coolness and easy that slipped so freely from his mouth that Clary let slip a tear. Her mother had trusted him. She had trusted him. "My people want the cup. Why do you think I’ve been hanging around here all these years? Now, when I find the Cup..." Luke stood up. "I’m gonna keep it. And you can tell Valentine and the Circle that."

  
The woman's eyes narrowed at him. "No one mentioned Valentine."

  
"You didn’t have to."

  
"Listen to me," One of the men started.

  
"No, you listen to me," Luke's voice peaked a terrifying and dangerous tone. "Get out of my office."

  
"Mom… Mom…" Clary repeated. If what they said was true... and Clary had just left her there. Oh god, Clary thought. Before she had the chance to be caught, she ran. Her feet finding an impossible rhythem as she braved the rain of Brooklyn. Her heartbeat feeling as though it would crawl from her chest. She felt utterly alone.

  
\------  
Valentine was growing rather impatient, his hand running over the bars of he cages as he walked past them, his other hand occupying a large needle filled with an unknown substance but little doubted it was anything good. Pangborn and Blackwell should be back. They had called with the most splendid news, Jocelyn and to his surprise, her daughter within their grasp. Oh how he had waited for their reunion. Planned for it even. Yet as the hours ticked by, his mood had soured.

  
Just when he had been about to order men to go and recover Pangborn and Blackwell, his cellphone vibrated. With little surprise, it was Pangborn.  
"You know how thin my patience wears Pangborn, now get..." Valentine cut himself short when the other end of the call sounded a rather harsh cough.

  
"S-sir..." Pangborn croaked sickly, "Fairchilds... g-gone. E-ever- everyone dead. The- Cr..."

  
Valentine's eyes widened. "Pangborn! Answers me! What happened!" With no further reply, Valentine growled animalistic manner, throwing his phone across the room and smashing it in a rain of glass.

  
Another Circle member cautiously approached Valentine, fear etched into his face as though he were approaching a vicious animal. "Sir?"

  
"Pangborn and Blackwell have failed, Jocelyn continues to elude us and therefore so does the Cup." Valentine seemed to regain what composer he had, his hand gliding over his head, turning to face the other man.

  
"She is in league with a Downworlder, hiding amongst the mundane. Coward." The other man spat disdainfully. A dangerous mistake as Valentine's eyes crept up to his.  
"Jocelyn Fairchild was able to hide from the Circle for 18 years, and continues to do so," Valentine stated lowly, his twisted sense of love for her shown through his admiration. "Do you think a coward is capable of something like that?"

  
Either the man hadn't recognised his mistake or he deemed himself worthy enough to continue to speak his mind so freely in front of Valentine. "The only thing she’s capable of is smelling like a mundane."

  
"I’m sorry?" It was a dare if anything, a warning if the man wasn't stupid.

  
"She betrayed the Circle." The man defended. "She doesn’t deserve our respect."

  
Valentine gave a slight chuckle, although told a joke by a close friend and perhaps that was what the other man had thought before Valentine had jammed the needle into his neck, pressing down the plunger and pushing the thick black liquid into him and watched with satisfaction as the man's flesh started to sizzle and burn, smelling of a sickly sweet roast as he fell to the dirty ground.

  
\--------  
Clary was now not too far from her house, feeling a new urgency surge through her, her feet quickened to reach home. As she turned to her home, shouting for her mother, she stopped dead in her tracks.

  
"Oh god..." In front of her, right outside her home, laid a bloody battlefield. Bodies and blood mixing and flowing with the rain were skewed and contorted, bodies riddled fatal wounds. Clary stumbled before falling to her knees and dry heaving what little was in her stomach, but kneeling down was worse and the coppery scent hit her, nestling in the back of her throat. She pulled away, scrambling to her feet as she looked to her door. She swung the door open, revealing the sight of her home. Bookshelves were abandoned, in the centre of the room a bonfire was lit were they now burnt and smoked.

  
"Mum!" Clary cried out, although defeat had set in and quietened her sobbing.

  
For a moment she sobbed in silence, soaking in and letting out everything. In the silence there was a thud, a rustle. Clary looked to the forgotten club that laid at her feet near the entrance and gripped it tightly in her hands. Without warning a figure emerged from the shadows as though he appeared out of the inky blackness of it and formed.  
"You?" Clary blinked through tears, still not lowering her club as he moved towards her.

  
"Me," The figure replied. "There's no need for that." The man pointed to the club still poised to strike.

  
"I'd say I've earnt the right, especially for hooded strangers in my house," Clary shot back, shifting her weight on her feet.

  
The man sighed, as though exasperated from the whole exchange. "Fine," His hand reached up, pulling the hood down to reveal his face and Clary realised he couldn't be much older than her. A sincere look fell upon his face. "Your mother is safe."

  
"Where is she? They said..."

  
"They'll say a lot of things to get what they want, but you're lucky I'm still here otherwise you'd be coming home to Ravener demon. You should have done as you were told and stayed at the police station," The man replied, though Clary hadn't missed the condescending tone to it and she also didn't miss the fact that he declined to tell her where her mother was. Before she could ask, his face shot up, zeroing on the entrance of the house. "Someone's coming."

  
"How would you..." Clary shook her head. "Nevermind, could you please just tell me what the hell is going on? Not in bits and pieces, I want the whole truth."

  
"No time," Alec hushed. "Clary, can you do something for me?"

  
"I don't even think I can trust you," Clary retorted. But deeply, if she listened, her instincts were screaming otherwise.

  
"It's not about trust, it's about getting answers, isn't it?" Alec questioned, already knowing her answering. "It's about getting back to your mother."

  
"Of course," Clary replied instantly.

  
"They can't know I've been here, they can't know," Alec wetted his lips, anxiously looking up to the door as though he was expecting the person to barge through any moment. "You tell them and I might not be able to help you but they'll protect you for now."

  
"None of this makes sense," Clary closed her eyes. Her vision feeling as though it was tilting on her as her legs tried to balance themselves.  
"None of it will," The man's voice seemed muffled, echoed in a tunnel or a long empty hallway. "But it doesn't have to." Before her body could collapse she felt arms wrap around her and suddenly she floated to the ground and into the inky darkness that had swallowed the mysterious man.

  
\------  
When Clary came to, she felt the softness of pillows and blankets wrap around her. Her hand reaching up for the necklace hung loosely on her neck and like an electric shock as was jolted. Roughly pulled into what seemed to real to be a dream, Clary saw her mother sitting down on a couch, she almost laughed with relief.

  
"Mum..."

  
"Can't you at least tell me that Clary's safe?" Her mother asked. Clary turned to see who her mother was talking to, why she hadn't noticed her own daughter when the man had suddenly shushed her.

  
"Someone's here," The man uttered, his face looking around the room and right through Clary.

  
"I thought you said this place was secure, Edward," Her mother replied seriously.

  
"It is."

  
In the next instant, Clary felt herself being pushed from the vision, springing up from the bed only to knock her head roughly against someone else's.

  
"Ow," A female voice groaned.

  
Clary's eyes shot open, "Wait, where is-" Her mouth snapped shut, her mind flooding with recollection and the last few moments of consciousness she had before... passing out? Was that what happened?

  
"Where is... what or who?" The woman trailed Clary's unspoken question. "I'm Isabelle by the way. I’ve never seen Jace so curious about a mundane… or distracted. Like you saw earlier, distractions are dangerous in our line of work."

  
"I have no idea what you’re talking about," Clary replied firmly, although she had felt the lie about the statement. "Who’s Jace?"

  
"Well, you must know something since Jace claims that you killed a Ravener demon all by yourself," Isabelle inquired, her long fingers running the patterns of the bed sheets. "But then again it could've been dumb luck."

  
"All I know is some crazy psychos tried to get into my home and now my mother is missing, and now you people have taken me," Clary replied, sitting up against the bed frame.

  
"And by “taken” I assume you mean “saved your life”?" Isabelle said. "Since you were passed out and if that demon had buddies..."

  
At that moment, a blonde man walked into the room. "You know, Jace. Raj is going to have an ulcer when he finds out that we brought a mundane into the Institute."  
"The Institute?" Clary questioned, glancing between the two.

  
"And as I said Izzy," Jace stepped into the room. "She's not mundane."

  
"And why's that?" Izzy asked, turning to hop off the bed rather gracefully.

  
"Because," Jace argued, "The seraph blade lit up when she touched it."

  
Jace moved down to sit where Izzy once was, the bed dipping. Honestly, if Clary could just tell him how weird this all was...

  
"I'm Jace Wayland," He introduced himself.

  
"I'm, uh-"

  
"Clary Fray, we know who you are," Jace replied as though it was normal.

  
"That is so not what you say to make me feel better," Clary pressed her fingers into her eyes.

  
"Nice, Jace," Izzy whistled, ducking out of the room to avoid the glare that Jace threw her.

  
"You seem fine now," Jace finally said when Izzy left the room. "I thought for a minute that Ravener demon had got you but you seemed to handle yourself... until you know... that passing out part."

  
"A Ravener what? What's that?"

  
"You killed it and yet you don't know what it was?" Jace looked at Clary as though she was the most interesting thing he had ever seen and from the sounds of everything, Clary might later take that as a compliment.

  
"I- I didn't kill it." Clary stammered. Her mind came forward with images of the man she had killed at Pandemonium.

  
"I followed it back to your place," Jace stated. "If you didn't, then who did and for that matter who killed all those people out on your doorstep, not that we're complaining, Circle members aren't exactly a huge loss.

"  
Clary almost told him about the man. About the hooded figure who had most certainly caused that massacre, who had killed that demon. But then she remembered. He told her not to tell them, even though he trusted them enough to think that they would protect her. And if her vision was real, then he was telling the truth. Her mother was safe.  
"I don't know, I just remember coming home and then... I guess I passed out from exhaustion."

  
"Well, I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. All the legends are true. We’re Shadowhunters. We protect the human world from the demon world. So those people you saw murdered at the Pandemonium, they weren’t people at all, they were shapeshifting demons." Jace seemed lost in his talk, barely noticing that Clary had stopped listening about halfway through.

  
"I’m not interested in being a part of your supernatural fight club. I just wanna find my mom. The rest of it, whatever it is, all I care about is finding my mother. Please. Please help me find her," Clary straightened herself up, going to get off the bed. Because the only lead she had was that mysterious man.

  
"I’m the best chance you’ve got." Second best, Clary thought.

  
At that moment, Clary's phone sprung to life and the name of Simon appeared on her phone. Relief filled her as a sense of normality from her life came back. "Simon."

  
"How come you haven’t answered your phone in two days?" Simon's words came out at a million miles a minute and Clary for her part wasn't surprised it had been two days.  
"Things are… all ripped apart." Clary sighed, rubbing her forehead tiredly.

  
"Where are you? Find My Friends says your phone is in an abandoned church on Deighton. I’m outside."

  
Clary looked around, finding the nearest window and looking outside. "I see you," She exhales, finally allowing a smile to grace her face.  
"I don't see you," Simon shrugs.

  
"Give me five minutes. I have to get dressed." She explained to him.

  
"Dressed? What are you doing undressed in an abandoned church? Clary, is there… Is there a meth problem we have to talk about?" Simon rambled worriedly, pitching to signal his distress.

  
"Simon, just give me five minutes, okay?" Clary hung up, turning to walk back to Jace, when Clary looked to him, he was flipping through one of her drawing books. "Um, what, uh… What happened to my clothes?"

  
"You had blood on them. Remember?" Jace pointed to a chair behind Clary. "Isabelle left you these."

  
Turning around Clary just stares at the clothes for a moment, before tentatively picking up one of the leather boots. Everything was leather. "You’re kidding, right?"

  
"She’s very comfortable with her body," Jace smirks.

  
"Okay." Clary mumbles. Turning to take the clothes and get dressed somewhere at least private. When she finishes putting on the honestly ridiculously tight leather top, she pauses suddenly, turning when she notices a black tattoo on her neck.

  
"How did that get there?" Clary demanded to Jace, turning on her high heels.

  
"I drew that." And if Clary didn't feel even more violated...

  
"Okay, listen. I still don’t get everything that’s going on here, but you do not tattoo my neck. That’s creepy," Clary felt as though she shouldn't have to explain this yet today was just one of those day...

  
"Duly noted. I guess next time I’ll just let an exhaustion set in. And it’s not a tattoo. It’s a rune. They have enormous power. Good for Shadowhunters. Lethal for humans. But you, you already know all about runes, don’t you?" Jace turned her drawing book around, point to the drawings that littered the page and Clary stared in amazement. She hadn't even known that she had drawn them or at least it was finally clicking what they were.

  
"Maybe you don’t," Jace noted the expression on Clary's. "Which is what makes you so interesting… Clary Fray."  
\----

  
Jace and Clary made their way through the Institue, Jace twirling one of those seraph blades in his hands.

  
"I saw something behind your friend," Jace stated calmly, as though the fact of it didn't bother him in the slightest.

  
"You’re not gonna kill Simon, are you?" Clary asked, hoping that she was bringing the man who was going to kill her best friend right to him.

  
"Protect the humans, kill the demons. You’ll get it eventually." Jace winked at her.

  
"So, why can’t Simon see you?" When they had finally reached outside, Jace was in the middle of explaining to Clary the fact that mundanes, like Simon, wouldn't be able to see him.

  
"This is a glamour, a rune that makes me invisible to mundanes." Jace lifted up his shirt, revealing to Clary the rune on his torso. "It’s a shame, really, ‘cause… well, denying them all this."

  
"What do you have on, Clary?" Simon stumbled slightly at her appearence, going to take off his coat and give it to Clary. "Let me take you home."  
Clary's eyes dropped to the ground. "I don’t think I have one anymore."

  
"Why? What do you mean?"

  
"Well…" Clary started.

  
"Clary Fairchild!" A man's voice boomed behind them. Clary flinched into Simon's arms. Gasping as Jace and this man erupted into a fight.

  
"Clary, what’s going on? What are you looking at?" Simon almost shouted at her if he wasn't afraid that he may cause more harm than good at the moment.

  
"If you give us the girl, I’ll let you live." The man whispered into Jace's ear as Jace held a firm chokehold, disarming the man before he could think about making another move.  
"You’re in no position to be making rules," Jace growled back, recognising the rune on the man's neck.

 

  
The man then threw a headbutt, slamming the back of his head into Jace's, causing Jace to stumble with shock. When the Man went to swing his seraph blade at Jace he jolted to a stop, the blade falling from his fingers as he collapsed to the floor. Jace stared at the man, noticing, protruding from his chest was a single arrow. He then looked around, his eyes scanning all the vantage points yet finding nothing.

  
"Is he dead?" Clary asked, not quite knowing what was possible in this new world she found herself in.

  
"Is who dead?" Simon asked wildly as Clary ripped herself from him and walked forwards, pointing to the ground.

  
Yet in a few seconds, that same ground glimmered and flashed, and there was a body. "What the...."

  
"Could you deglamourize, or whatever, so my best friend doesn’t think I’m losing my mind?" Clary asked the air and sure enough, that same glimmering effect occurred and shortly, Jace appeared in Simon's sight.

  
"Um… what is happening?" Staring dumbfounded at Jace.

  
"Yeah, we don’t have the luxury right now, kid. Everyone back inside." Jace ordered, already moving to do so.

  
"Clary, who is this? Your meth dealer?"

  
Clary stared at the now dead man on the floor, "I’ve seen him before. At the police station."

  
"He’s a member of the Circle." Jace stopped in his tracks, walking back to Clary. "And I'm guessing from the amount of Circle members bodies we found at your place, they're here for you."

  
"He’s with the people who took my mother," Clary said defensively.

  
"Right, your little best friend here led him right to you. He’s here to capture or kill you." Jace called feel himself watching the shadows around them, as though someone were watching them and it was making him uneasy.

  
"There’s a dead body there, we have to call Luke," As though Simon hadn't heard them, for his own sanity retreating to the most logical explanations.

  
"We can’t trust Luke, Simon. We can’t." Clary expressed to him.

  
"Clary, I need to keep you safe. I promise you, I promise I am gonna help you find your mother. But you’re one of us. You’re a Shadowhunter."

  
"What are you talking about? Clary, you don’t know this guy, all right? Come with me. I can get us help." Simon argued to her.

  
"Clary, please." Jace pleaded.

  
"Clary, come on." Simon urged.

  
Both of their hands extended to her, both offering a solution but acting as a choice. A choice to revert back to her old life or to embrace the new one thrust on her. Yet only one of them was the correct one.  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god why was this such a nightmare to put up! My browser dumped three times while trying to upload this, the format each time almost unreadable. God, I hope it isn't too riddled with errors. 
> 
> But anyway! How was it? For those familiar with AC, two very familiar characters are introduced but not saying they are the exact same. Honestly hope this turned out well, this chapter was a struggle to write. For one, Jocelyn's storyline had to be changed since I wanted for still awake yet out of the picture. And with that I needed a reason for Clary to separate from her and also for Alec to stay in Brooklyn. Hence, Alec is now Clary's protector.


	3. Identity Known

Alec Lightwood walked leisurely over the cityscape. He moved between buildings and through alleyways like a ghost, leaving no footstep or trace that he ever was there. The Nephilim had followed Clary back to the Institute, the foreboding building standing with mockery at him. It seemed as though it looked down upon him, taunting him of a 'home' that no longer was open to him.

  
The last time Alec had been to Brooklyn had been the day he swore off his family. Swore off his connection and blocked the ties that bound him. After getting too curious for his own good at the age of nineteen, Alec had wandered down the streets leading to the Institue. He had needed no guidance since his memory of the city remained so clear in his mind. He was foolish to think that perhaps he could talk to them once more, he had waited like they had advised. Being told that going back, he may not discover what he had sought for so long, wasn't something he believed. He had spotted them, his mother and his parabatai. He'd let himself feel joy, he'd willingly fooled himself. He debated about how he would approach them, it seemed trivial but so important at the time. Should he just say hi? Should he warn them beforehand? His mind was racing with every possible scenario. But it came crashing down when he heard them. His mother's own words.

  
_"Jace, I could not have a son I am more proud of at this moment than you."_

  
It seemed like a serrated knife had been plunged into his chest. A silly belief that his mother would never replace him, never find someone more worthy of her pride, of her love than him. It was a bitter tasting realisation of jealous and scornful rage. Alec had been thrown away. Discarded, his parents had always known it was going to happen yet they had played him a sweet falsehood and coaxed him. And to find that they could so easily act as though he hadn't been sacrificed hadn't been given up to pay for their sins had burnt him deeply. Jacob had promised him that should he wish to return to his family, that he could do so freely, yet now he did not think that an option. What good was his old life if he could no longer return to it the same?

  
The pain was too much for the Nephilim to bear. The loss of his belief that his family would remember, would care to, had been stripped from him roughly. He could not think to bring himself back to the Institute after that, New York perhaps, Brooklyn if he hardened himself enough. There were too many memories that haunted him of his family, of Izzy, Max, and Jace. The three people who he still mourned for greatly. He had seen things in his time with the Creed that he felt would have been shunned if he stayed with the shadowhunters. He had done things that would make him look away in shame if it ever came to light in front of his siblings. Every wonder had been visited and explored, but New York had been avoided until now. And now, he had wished that he had never stepped foot in it.

  
Yet here he found himself, perched like a watchful gargoyle across from the Institute. All for a promise he had made to a girl's mother. Admittedly, he was sure that the mother would greatly disapprove of his method of protecting Clary by drugging her to cover his own ass. It was a hasty decision but he couldn't risk Clary blabbing her mouth off to Jace about him when he got to the apartment and hopefully now if she did, Jace and his sister would think Clary was delusional. Any normal shadowhunter would place little value on the words of an outsider. Since it had been now marking two days since the events at the Fairchild residences and nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, Alec believed himself to be in the clear for now.

  
What was interesting was that it seemed Clary's friend... S something. Simon, was it? Was currently at said Church where the Institute was glamoured. Now that couldn't be a coincidence. And also the fact that Simon was being followed by a Circle member definitely couldn't be random. Alec reached behind his back, fluently notching an arrow and taking aim, his hands steady as he trailed the 'hidden' Circle member. When Clary emerged from the Institute already looking the part of a shadowhunter and followed suit by Jace, Alec slightly lowered his bow. The risk of Jace already suspecting something was high and Alec had no doubt that Jace could handle one Circle member. For now, there didn't seem to be a reason to act. However, when the fight began and Jace got knocked back by the Circle member and Alec saw the glint of the seraph rise, Alec released the arrow, letting it meet its mark. It took a moment for Alec to realise that he had acted on instinct rather than thought. As quickly as he released that arrow, Alec took cover, knowing that Jace wouldn't dismiss it. Alec took a deep breath and counted softly back from three in his head. When he turned back to where Jace, Clary and Simon once were it was empty.

  
For now, Alec thought, he was safe.

  
\---------

  
_Your mother was only trying to protect you._

  
_And now you must protect her._

  
_Stop Valentine._

  
_Before he destroys us all._

  
She thought that she could handle it. She really fucking did. But learning all this, learning that her mother had been a part of something so disgusting. Horrible. Sadistic. The next time Clary sees her mother she feared that she won't be able to recognise her. The words were rattling around in her head like they were the only things left she could comprehend. She drowned out the rest of the world around her, her feet moving without purpose and her mind not sure where she was going to go.

  
"Clary, but... Clary, look, will you just calm down?" Jace followed her down the hall, chasing her. Asking her to calm down because that seemed like the only goddamn thing he could be. Was he not shocked? Wouldn't he be if this was his own parents? What right did he have? Asking her to calm down seemed like the most absurdist thing.

  
"Calm down?" Clary spun, her fiery red hair flicking like a whip and her eyes impossibly matching its colour with emotion only. "Really, calm down? Okay, Jace, you might be some kind of emotionless G.I. Joe, but..."

  
"What is a G.I. Joe?" Jace asked, reminding Clary how far from reality everything was.

  
"A soldier who doesn't understand human emotions, who doesn't know what it's like to lose someone, to lose your own mother."

  
"You're right. I never knew my mother." Jace replied with a distant cold, his eyes glazing over like the memories from his past had clouded in them. "And my brother, he was taken. Knowing that he's out there and you can't do a goddamn thing about it. But he's gone now. I get that, Clary. I do."

  
Clary stepped back for a moment, for the first time she wasn't seeing this cocky flirt who seemed so perfect in every way. She saw damage and pain. "I didn't know."

  
"That's precisely my point. You don't know anything about this. You don't know about me, you don't know about my life..." Jace sighed, realising that he had lost himself. "But in the Shadow World, no training and no plan gets you killed."

  
Clary conceded, realising that her fighting these people, pretending that she was the only one suffering at the moment, may just make her whole situation worse off. "Okay, so we know that Valentine is back and wants the Cup, and for some reason he thinks my mother has it. Could she? Have the Cup?"

  
Jace shook his head. "I don't know. Look, Clary, you know about runes. You've drawn them. You... you know something. Something you may think isn't important but we are the people who can solve this. Think, please."

  
Clary stood there for a moment. Of everything she had learned so far, her world had been flipped. People that she would never trust are suddenly the only people she could trust, and people she once thought she knew, her mother and Luke, were suddenly strangers. What good was her mother's word? She said she could trust Luke but he was all too willing to throw Clary to the wolves. Dot had been the one to deliver her right to him. And now who's to say this mysterious stranger that her mother worked with wasn't the enemy in sheep's clothing? These people, Jace, were the only ones who hadn't tried to get her, to twist her thoughts and forced her to do things she didn't want to. "Before... everything's just an empty blackness."

  
"You're memory's been wiped," Jace concluded for her.

  
"How would something like that be possible?"

  
"Warlock." Jace continued. "Immortal beings, half demon, and half human. They possess the ability to do magic, make things out of the ordinary happen."

  
"Dot, my mom's assistant, her hands had this purple glow when she opened the wall and my mom pushed me through and I ended up at the police station."

  
"That was a Portal. Dot must have been a warlock. Only warlocks can create them," Jace provided helpfully.

  
"Wait, so you're saying if we find the real Dot, she could help us find the Cup?" Clary asked hopefully.

  
"She may even lead us to Valentine."

  
"There's one other thing," Clary added, stopping Jace in his tracks. "Someone else was in the apartment that night. I don't even know his name. All I know is that he appeared out of thin air, my mother didn't even blink. She trusted him. Before I went through the portal, he said he'd take care of Circle members. When I get back, all of them are dead and my home is burnt down."

  
"Was there anything about him Clary, anything that you can use to describe him?"

  
"I- I don't know, most of the time he wore a hood. There was one time he took it off though and I think- I think he was a shadowhunter, he had a rune on his neck. But he said my mother was safe." Clary expressed. "I think he knows where she is."

  
\------

  
When Luke had arrived at the charred remains of the apartment, he just stood there.

  
Anger. Confusion. Rage.

  
That was what he was feeling at the remains of the apartment, Jocelyn's life and Clary's life nothing but ashes because of a sadistic psychopath. If he could, he would have snarled and lashed out at every Circle member in his path, but not even he could mass such a feat by himself. And so Luke seethed, moving from room to room, picturing what it had looked like before as he finally entered Clary's room, his own rage heightened by that of the wolf within him.

  
Clary's room had been ransacked, a pile of burnt remains in the center of it. Jocelyn couldn't have done this. Stomached burning every memento of Clary's. Luke had brought a box with him, planning at the least to pack away what remained but little did. Everything was ash.

  
When the door creaked open, Luke spun, his gun already poised and ready to shoot. Dot emerged from the doorway, her face looking sunken and drawn out. Luke lowered his gun.

  
"Where's Clary?" Because no one had told him. Besides the taunts of arrogant Circle members he knew nothing. "What happened to her?"

  
Dot's eyes narrowed, "We sent her through a Portal to you."

  
"You sent her through a Portal? Alone? She could be in limbo." Luke bristled with the thought. How had things gone to shit so fast?

  
"Well, I didn't have much of a choice," Dot defended. "Valentine sent six of his men here. We had to act fast. If I had known, however, that Jocelyn had help. It wouldn't have been my first option."

  
"Where's Clary? And where's Jocelyn?"

  
"I don't know," Dot replied firmly. "All I know is that I sent Clary to the police station. To you. And I portalled Jocelyn to a park. From there I know nothing."

  
"To a park? Why the hell would you do that?"

  
"As I said, Jocelyn had help. A man, he wouldn't discuss where he was sending Jocelyn to me. Only told me to take her to a park and leave." Luke furrowed his eyebrows, glancing around the room. "And what exactly are you looking for?"

  
"Anything that can be used to track Clary," Luke answered. "I can't have anybody tracking Clary. Including you."

  
Dot exhaled sharply. "What's that supposed to mean?"

  
"It means that nobody can be trusted."

  
Dot shook her head, walking out before Luke could say more. Luke reached around to his back pocket, pulling out the pack of tarot cards. The only thing remaining from the fire that had consumed every inch of this place.

  
\----

  
Izzy had been touring Clary through all of her closets, letting Clary pick whatever she pleased. It was really just a mission to find the least revealing thing in there. A thought had lingered in Clary's head since that conversation she had with Jace about her mother and his brother.

  
"Izzy," Clary turned around watching as Izzy slid on the bed. "Would you mind if I asked you something?"

  
"Depends," Izzy smiled coyly.

  
"Jace mentioned that he had a brother." And Clary had thought that she had blown it all up then because Izzy's face dropped the smile and suddenly that spark in her eyes flatlined. "I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

  
"It's fine," Izzy reassured. "His name is Alec."

  
"Jace talks like he died or something," Clary leaned herself against a wall, she felt like this wasn't her place but yet she was inclined to ask. Maybe to make herself not feel so alone in her own loss.

  
"Because that's what it feels like," Izzy said softly. "Alec is our oldest brother. We all learned to fight side by side with each other. Alec was our protector, when we got reckless he'd always be there to make sure we were alright. Then one day, he was gone."

  
"He was kidnapped?"

  
"No, our parents sent him away. Somewhere we could never see him again." Izzy's eyes started to shine with tears before she roughly shook her head. "That's why Jace sees it that way. Because Alec may as well have died that day."

  
Feeling the silence reach a thick weight on the room, Izzy's face bloomed into a smile. "Enough of that now we have one warlock to track down, one mysterious shadowhunter and one dangerous rogue shadowhunter before he had the chance to kill us all."

  
Clary cracked a smile, "Gee, you really know how to give a pep talk."

  
Izzy shrugged before reaching for Clary's hand. "Come on, let's go."

  
\-----  
Dark clouds now hung over the sky that evening, promising the city a violent storm later. But Alec didn't mind the gloomy atmosphere since he was finally getting somewhere. As much of a bore as it was standing and waiting for Clary to leave the Institute, the Creed had notified him of a problem in the area. It appeared that Valentine had figured out that Jocelyn had received warlock aid in order to hide from him. As such, Alec reasoned that Clary was pretty much protected from danger as long as she remained at the Institute. The one thing concerning Alec now was the fact that Alec had picked up Dot's signatures popping up all over the city. Although he cared little for her, not that that was her fault, Alec just learned that acquaintances in his line of work tended to not last too long, Dot was too closely linked to Clary and Jocelyn and by association, the Creed. She had seen him, she would be able to describe him. If Valentine ever found out...

  
So here he was, following Dot into the very nightclub owned by Magnus Bane. Now, that man and been a person of interest to the Creed. In fact, it was him who had notified the Creed of the warlock disappearances. Alec hadn't met the man personally but he had a suspicion that that wouldnt be the case for much longer if the situation escalated. The idea that Dot could potentially be leading the Circle right to Magnus while he evacuated warlocks... He could scold her for her carelessness, if she only knew the danger she wrought with every step she made. She could bring the Circle right to the other warlocks, endanger them all yet Alec couldn't stop her. Alec couldn't enter the premise without giving away his position. Alec was good at hiding but someone like Magnus Bane, well Alec wasn't going to test his abilities that far. And he didn't want to test Magnus's mood by having a Nephilim within his wards. Not if he wanted to remain hidden for now.

  
Minutes passed by, until Dot emerged, looking haggard and defeated. Alec had planted himself by the entrance, his hand shooting out to grab her arm when she went to pass. Dot went to pull away but stopped when she recognised the familiar hood. "Are you following me?"

  
"I'm following up on a liability," Alec corrected her. "You shouldn't be out here like this if Valentine's..." Alec turned his head, while he didn't have vampiric hearing, his senses were heightened and the disturbance of the streets around had caught his attention.

  
"What is it?"

  
"Eight, perhaps ten men are coming this way," Alec replied. "Do you have enough magic to portal out of here?"

  
Dot furiously shook her head, "No, I've wasted it looking for Clary."

  
"Take some from me," Alec extending his hand. "Contact Bane and find shelter, if you get captured Valentine will most certainly gain leverage to get to Jocelyn or Clary."

  
"But what about you? If I do this, you can't fight off ten of Valentine's men if your weak," Dot argued. "Come with me."

  
"Doesn't matter, if I die then that's one more loose end gone," Before Dot could accept, Alec grabbed onto her hand and instantly he felt his body grow lighter. It was a strange feeling, having your strength sapped from you. It wasn't painful, more like you were on the edge of falling asleep but you were grasping to try and stay awake. It pulled you down and weakened you further if you tried to fight it. "I can't let Valentine's men report back to him about you, you need to go by yourself."

  
When ten men, five at each end of the alleyway appeared, walking towards them. Dot looked nervously back and forth and then to Alec, Alec gave her a slight nod. Dot threw open a portal, causing the Circle members to break out into a sprint to catch her in time. However, they arrived too late. The portal snapped shut and Dot was gone, leaving the ten men facing the lonely figure in the alleyway.

  
"Now, wasn't that sweet." One of them snickered. "Helping out the filthy downworlder."

  
"Makes me want to vomit." Another replied.

  
"Fucking downworlder lover." Spat a woman.

  
"Now who exactly-" The first woman who spoke, reached to rip Alec's hood off. Before her hand could even reach the hood, Alec's hand shot up and grabbed her wrist. With his other hand, Alec bent her arm up at an impossible angle until a satisfying snap echoed through the alleyway and a scream of pain resounded on the brick walls. And then Alec started.

  
Unbenknowst to Alec or the ten Circle members, three shadowhunters and a mundane marched towards the alleyway with the intention of a rescuing a warlock, yet they would find anything but. Rounding the corner, they came upon a one to ten battle, yet the odds were not that. The four watched in stunned amazement.

  
His movements were graceful and his opponents grass to his scythe, frozen as if they were unable to fight or flee. To the four observers, they couldn't place where this hooded man had struck his opponents or when but soon, the bodies dropped. One. Two. Three down. Within a minute. One had tried to flee towards them, an arrow now nestled in his eye. The second one had tried to flank the figure from behind, he didn't get past raising his seraph blade before his throat was opened, a clean cut across that caused him to gargle on his own blood. The third swiftly followed as the figure's other arm extended with an aim for his throat, his wrist punching his neck, a hidden blade gliding from the figure's wrist and puncturing the man's artery, before he slumped, dead before he hit the ground.

  
What was eerie about it all was the fact that the figure made no sound in all of this chaos. That they had remained deathly silent. No grunts or groans signalling the wear and strain from the fight, only fighting with silence and precision. If any of them knew better, they might proclaim the figure a ghost amongst the men.

  
By the death of the sixth Circle member, however, that started to change. The figure stumbled slightly, the stride he had faltered and he was making mistakes.

  
"Jace!" Clary turned to him. "That's the man who was in my house that night. We have to help him."

  
"Already on it," Izzy smirked, the bracelet around her wrist coiling out and loosening into a long whip, snapping it for effect.

  
Jace reached around for his seraph blade. "Hey!" The shout caused all five remaining people to jolt to a stop. "Now I don't know about you guys but this doesn't seem exactly fair-"

  
The commotion of the fight had paused, Alec heard the blood pumping in his ears, so deafening as it sounded like a war drum. Amidst the fight, his hood had fallen back, yet he cared little for it. His identity at the end of this would matter little for only two ends were possible. Either he eliminated everyone before they could speak or he died and someone else would finish what he started. The draw from giving his strength away finally hitting him, and for the first time in a long time, he was uncertain. Uncertain about how a fight would end, uncertain whether he could finish the target. For a moment, Alec believed he would die in a dirty alleyway, his body left to rot and be eaten by the rats that waited behind trash like vultures. He had held out his energy for as long as he could but he knew eventually, even someone like him, would make a mistake. And he had. One wrong footstep and he had lost the pace. One misplaced strike and he was off balance. One dodge ill-timed and he was on the ground. He waited for the fates to take him. Accepted death until a voice cried out. A voice that was so foreign he may have believed Death had taken him at that moment. Yet he noticed the distraction and took full advantage of it, the Circle members were distracted and with one easy flip, Alec had reversed his roles with his opponent and fatally ended his life. Alec may have regained his composure then, turned the tides to favour him once again, but that voice sounded again and he looked up in surprise. The voice at Death's door suddenly sounding less angelic. His eyes met Jace's and stopped him. Whatever Jace had planned to say died and instead was replaced by:

  
"Alec?"

  
A twinge of happiness surged through Jace, he heard Izzy gasp beside him at the realisation. That twinge echoed from Alec too. That happiness vanished quickly as a figure behind Alec loomed like the smoke from a demon, and before any could react a blade plunged through Alec's stomach, sticking out at a sickly angle. The tip dripping with blood that blended with Alec's dark jacket all too well.

  
The feeling was numbing. Alec didn't notice the pain, it was more of the shock of it. As though he couldn't believe that a blade had been pierced through his stomach. His fault. Distracted when the fight hadn't ended. But to see Jace and Izzy and to have them look back at him with recognition. He hadn't thought it. Hadn't believed it to be possible. Had they not forgotten about him? He assumed they wouldn't recognise him, nine years of change had etched its way on him. But when Alec felt Jace's happiness, he couldn't help but send it back. A bond he had learned to block, a wall he had built to keep his sanity burst like a dam after a devasting storm. Perhaps that was more shocking to him. Perhaps that's why he hadn't noticed it. Noticed his fatal mistake His mentors would remark that if he lived long enough to see them once more. Alec counted back from three.

_If you ever feel you've lost yourself in a fight, Alec. Count back from three, revert to your instincts. Drown out those around you for they are just targets. Hit them. Eliminate them. Nothing else matters. Your body is a tool. Pain is the distraction. A response to stimuli that you must drown out if you want to survive. A tool can be mended if it isn't damaged beyond repair. In each second, you must move._

  
One

  
Alec reached above his head, clutching his target's head in his hands. Ignoring the blinding pain that screamed from his abdomen.

  
Two

  
With a twist of his position, he felt the snap of bone and Alec was standing once more. The other three liking their odds had moved in. With reflexes not uncommon in shadowhunters but the a speed uncanny to a vampire, Alec struck two in one motion, his hidden blades on both his forearms extending outward to puncture their throats.

  
Three

  
Alec moved to face the third but found the target was already dead. And in front of him; Jace. Words fluttered through Alec's head, thinking about what to say. He thought of hi like he had all those years ago but before he could breathe it out, the world collapsed around him. He hadn't had the time to slowly succumb to the darkness, instead, it had wretched him so forcefully that he had dropped instantaneously.

  
There was a moment. It was when Alec was back. When Alec came back, he wasn't the same. Jace had felt the twinge of happiness that Alec felt when he saw them again but it was fleeting and once again he was faced with the same feeling had for the past nine years. A muffled echo of his lost brother and an emptiness that had filled his void. The man had crumbled and changed. In the next three seconds, he had worked with trained memory that Jace hadn't seen in even the oldest and most well-trained shadowhunters. Alec had twirled. And in those three seconds, he had taken down three men. When Jace realised the fourth was on Alec, he ran forward, seraph blade gutting the man before he had the chance to get to Alec. Alec looked up at Jace and said nothing, his breaths now coming out in short pants. Jace had thought about what he would say at this very moment. Rehearsed it for years and none of it seemed right. Perhaps, a simple hi would suffice. But before Jace could utter it, Alec keened forward. Jace quickly caught him and Izzy ran to aid him. The seraph blade still stood in Alec's stomach, a twisted mockery of an angelic weapon used to shed angel blood. It sickened them.

  
"Oh god, Jace," Izzy mumbled, hands searching Alec as though reassuring her that he was real, kneeling beside him as she helped Jace ease him to the ground, the blade that had caused the wound taken and discarded rather violently by Izzy. She stared down at the unconscious figure in disbelief, like she hadn't realised that her older brother was really there in this moment. "Jace, he's here."

  
"He won't be if we don't help him," Jace said numbly, applying an iratze. "Come on, Alec. Brother. Parabatai." Jace whispered repeatedly. "Please. Don't leave me. Not again."

  
"I- I can call..." Clary stammered.

  
Izzy looked up to her, her eyes shimmering. "An iratze will heal his wounds."

  
"Then why isn't he waking up?" Simon asked.

  
"He was running on adrenaline," Jace explained, clutching onto Alec as though letting go would make him lost to them once more. "His body's going to need time to recover, but the iratzes taken effect." Jace sighed with relief, staring down at his brother before back up at Izzy, watching her face break into a grin.

  
"He's home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... They finally found him. Or accidentally stumbled upon him I suppose. I know a lot of people complained that last chapter was focused on Clary a lot, which I understand but I needed to establish Alec's role in all of this and give him reason to not just up and bolt for cover as soon as he got discovered, even though that's something he's going to want to do. While Alec may feel like he's emotionally being crushed, he puts duty above all else and knows that he can't just leave. So, that was why Chapter Two was longer than most and focused on Clary's arch a little more, I just wanted to get that out of the way and done with. I'm finally thinking about Magnus's role in Alec's life, so those scenes are finally formulating in my head. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you all so much for being super supportive of this story and showing your love for it. It is truly amazing. How are you guys feeling about the reunion scene for Alec and his family (even though it wasn't really a big reunion)? For me, when I thought of this scene, it just felt right. Now comes the issue of what happens afterwards when Alec wakes up...


	4. Awake But Not There

"Dorothea," Magnus's voice sung, emphasising the notes. "Now I thought I told you..."

  
"Magnus, please listen!" She cut in sharply and with little patience. Dot would have liked nothing more than to have portalled straight to Magnus's sanctuary, yet even its location had been shadowed from her and she had little magic to reach out for it. She now sat within an abandoned theatre Dot had remembered from when it had bristled with life and was now dusted with the absence of life. Not the ideal safe-house she would admit but she had little choice in the matter, not when her life was on the line and possibly Jocelyn's and Clary's. "I was just ambushed by ten of Valentine's men, I need your help."

  
Silence hung at the other end of the phone and Dot feared that perhaps Magnus had hung up on her.

  
"And how did you manage to escape that one. Forgive my suspicion but you were as drained as a dead battery, my dear." Magnus said, his mistrust lacing his elegantly disguised words and Dot couldn't blame him for that, the situation sounded absurd.

  
"I had help," Dot explained, her stress building as she grew more anxious. " I don't know how much longer I have until Valentine discovers that I got away. Look I'm at Loew's 46th Street Theater I can explain everything to you-"

  
As though Magnus could feel the anxiety coming from the other end of the phone, a portal burst to life beside her, causing crates to crash and break through its force. It seemed like Magnus just glided into the room, aloof to the dire situation and most who did not know him would mistake it for the warlocks forefront emotion. Dot was almost face-to-face with Magnus, barely noticing as his hand slid into her own and gently pulled her through the portal.

  
"Dot dear, calm yourself." Magnus's voice spoke softly to her as he walked her over to one of the couches. "You honestly wouldn't believe that I would abandon you. Even if you are stubborn at the best of times."

  
Indeed she did. Truthfully, Dot knew Magnus's responsibilities for the warlocks of Brooklyn outweighed any personal past they had together. She would never hold that against him if she were, to be honest. Magnus was jaded and cautious beneath the carefree and ecstatic front he flaunted a ruse that easily fooled those who would seek to challenge him. When Dot first met him, he viewed the world as an enchanting book. Magnus would hungrily turn the pages with eager but now as she stared at him, he knew the pages of this book all too well. He no longer had that spark of life within him. He continued to find the pleasure of life wherever he went but now it had become excessive and so exquisite that Dot feared it was beginning to hardened him from reality. She knew that the past years had been truly unkind to her old friend, that he no longer saw that he could find the light in this darkness and she knew that he yearned for it desperately. She hoped that he could find it before his final thread snapped and he could no longer hold himself up anymore.

  
And although Magnus and her... shared a colourful past, she would above all consider him a close friend. Her relief exuded her as she relaxed back into the couch, letting the stress of the evening flood from her. Magnus seemed to read her thoughts as a cocktail wisped in front of her and she all but inhaled the sweet elixir. She felt the shift of the couch indenting beside her as Magnus made himself comfortable beside her.

  
"Now, Dorothea." Magnus placed his glass on the coffee table. "As much as I would love to drink the night away with you I must know, how did you manage to escape?"  
Dot quirked her eyebrow. "Don't believe I could handle some shadowhunters by myself?"

  
"Some perhaps but not ten and not in the condition you were in." Dot noticed the tilt in Magnus's voice. His cue that the conversation was to take a more serious turn. Magnus had taken a risk going out to her, though it seems he had little hesitation doing so. Dot could see Magnus's desire to not also waste the risk he took, hidden beneath a guise of a friendly conversation.

  
"It seems Jocelyn took extra precautions that she didn't inform either of us of," Dot started, the offense may have lingered in her tone. After all those years of helping Jocelyn, she hadn't been told about the Creed's involvement. "Jocelyn and Clary have protection from the Creed, that's the reason I survived. One of their assassins is looking out for Clary, he believed that if Valentine took me, it could lead him straight to her."

  
Now Magnus remembered why he tended to avoid Shadowhunter affairs. Out of all of the Shadow World beings, Shadowhunters were the most complicated and difficult to deal with. Warlocks were reclusive and self-preserving but they were also proud enough that they tended to deal with their own affairs. Werewolves were pack members by nature, often mistrustful to those outside of their inner circles but loyalty was highly valued. Vampires, despite how much the two hated each other, were similar to werewolves in that manner. Seelies were deceitful by their inability to lie but were generally harmless if you don't do anything to offend. As such, Magnus was highly intrigued by the Creed's involvement with the whole affair. The Creed was as elusive as they come. Rooted deep in every kind of Shadow World being, they rarely interfered unless the contract was equal to the cause or they deemed it within their purpose to do so. And that was as far as Magnus knew about the Creed.

  
"Hmmm, that is interesting," Magnus mumbled, although not entirely to Dot. "I'll just have to go find this mysterious and dangerous assassin and thank him personally."  
Dot scoffed at him. "Magnus you do realise the purpose of being an assassin is so that no one can trace back to the culprit of the crime. And also the fact that we both know 'thanking' isn't what you have in mind."

  
"You really think that is going to stop me? I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn." Magnus waved off. "And how else would I thank someone who saved one of my closest friends?"  
Knowing that she was going to get no more answers from her friend, Dot didn't pry any further from Magnus, her eyes still watching Magnus closely. She returned to sipping from her cocktail, Magnus still sitting beside her. The warlocks had relaxed into a comfortable chit-chat. Magnus idly wondered about the changes of events that had happened so quickly in one day.

  
\-----------

  
For the first time in a long time, Alec was afraid. This fear was brewed from the confusion that encompassed him, a reflex working on autopilot that had been ingrained in his mind. Something was wrong. This inky blackness was unlike anything he had experienced in his life, it slithered down his throat and nostrils like a deadly snake, suffocating him on the spot. It mattered little how much he strained to regain his awareness, to force out the invading blackness. The blackness pressed on his senses. No sight. No smell. No sound. No touch. No taste. He was completely and utterly defenceless.

  
The air around him seemed to match the flow of time, it was haltered. He had no concept of its passage, where it drifted around, nor its direction in this space. However, as he floated in the blackness, awareness seemed to flow to him. As he swam in this black space thoughts crept to him like ants to biscuit crumbs. He was on a mission. Dot was in danger. He was too weak to fight ten men. Why was he so weak? Nine were dead. But wasn't there ten? He'd forgotten... no, he never loses focus on a mission. An unknown had interfered. He'd been injured. But who or what was the unknown? From those thoughts, Alec could safely assume that he must be unconscious... Yet... if he were unconscious, he shouldn't have cognitive thought. So, he was regaining consciousness.

  
The first thing Alec was able to register was the sensation of touch, the feeling of coarse sheets under his fingertips. A muffled ache that resounded in his muscle. Alec couldn't help but wince at the assault on his senses. He was still confined within this blackness yet he was becoming alarmingly aware of it. His desperation seemed to cause his arm to twitch, his reaction sluggish yet he was relieved that he was able to do something. His limbs were weighed down like they were made of stone and so stiff that he may have mistaken them for planks of woods. Although his body was reluctant to follow the commands of his mind, he could feel control creep in through it. He had to get up. Where was he now if not laying face down in an alleyway? What had happened? He had been stabbed, that much he knew. But he hadn't activated his iratz rune, so someone else had tended to him. A fear had crept in that perhaps he had been captured. Valentine would certainly want him alive. But as he felt his senses return, he didn't feel the heavy sensation of restraints adorning his limbs. Not captured then. What had happened?

  
Alec's fingers brushed against his sides, feeling the familiar comfort of his weapons at his sides. He hadn't been disarmed by the people who had rescued him. Where they still around? Though it was an effort, Alec forced his eyes to open. The harsh light that stabbed his eyes blinded him momentarily causing him to blink furiously. As his vision adjusted to the light, the room around revealed to be a bedroom that lacked the distinct personality of it belonging to someone. He had been moved then. When he had been about to make a quick scan of the room, voices had caused him to halt before he could make any obvious movements.

  
His heart seemed impossibly loud contrasting the hushed whispers of the room, so much so he dreaded that it had alerted them to his conscious state. Alec cursed at his current state. His ability to move, or yet, leave was severely reduced by his dizziness and fatigue. But all Alec wanted to do was sink into the shadows because he now realised that he was in the one place he had sworn never to go back to. And he realised, with startling and utter sickening shock, who had saved him in that alleyway.

  
It seemed that despite Alec's best attempts to remain still, the voices in the room had spotted his movements. A hazy silence descended upon the room, and if it weren't for the crescendo of his blood beating in his eardrums, Alec would be sure that he could hear the mice within the walls. He tensed in the slightest, his mind becoming a blank canvas. When a hand touched his shoulder, his reaction was muscle memory as he slipped from his resting position it a stance that would suggest a fight was about occur, his hand resting on his kukri blade strapped to his thigh. He may not have dropped his guard if it weren't from the look of horror that adorned his siblings face. His family. Izzy had her arm curled close to her, as though he had burned her when she had touched him and Jace almost looked ready to defend her... from him?

  
That was why, although his tension hadn't left his body, his hand had inched from his weapon and his feet had shifted. Not only have they already helped him, they were of his own family. And now he was facing the looks he had feared for years, the looks of fear and mistrust.

  
"Alec?" Izzy whispered, her voice was quite yet so reaching for him as though she was trying to catch his fourteen-year-old self from this stranger who stared at her.   
Alec stared for a moment. His instincts were telling him to run, regroup and perhaps come back composed and with a better defense against whatever onslaught his family may bring unto him. Yet, something was preventing his feet from following those instincts which were disturbing him greatly. Instead, he did the only thing he had prepared himself to do in this situation. "Hi."

  
Jace puffed out a humourless laugh. "'Hi'." Jace seemed to roll the word around as though it was a foreign word that tasted bitter on his tongue. "'Hi.' Nine years and all he says is 'Hi'."

  
Izzy's hand wrapped firmly around Jace's arm, squeezing it with a warning as her eyes stayed glued to her lost brother. Izzy ignored her brother's shyness, rushing forward as Jace seemed to realise what Izzy had. She had placed herself in front of Alec, her distance was something that pained her, wanting nothing more than to embrace him in a smothering hug but she knew he wouldn't return it with the same vigour.

  
"Brother," Izzy smiled, the tears that gathered emphasising the sadness behind it. "You were injured in a fight against Circle members we brought you back to the Institute to recover. I- uh we are so happy to have you home again."

  
"Uh... Thank you for helping me," The words came out slowly, as though Alec was testing the words to see how they sounded. "Where's Clary?"

  
"Seriously, Alec?" Jace was upon him next, his voice raising to heightened his distress. "You're asking about Clary? Not asking about us? About our parents? You haven't even asked about Max, how he's doing. It's been nine years, he's no longer a baby anymore-"

  
"Enough!" Alec's voice had echoed like a bullet in an empty room, meeting it's piercing nature as it cut through Jace and Izzy who were stunned into a stupor at its suddenness. "I understand that this is... sudden for you both. But I have a mission to do and it outweighs personal matters at the moment."

  
"It outweighs?" Izzy muttered, repeating the words that she couldn't believe she had just heard. "This is just as important, brother."

  
Alec took a moment to gather his bearings. Social and personal interactions weren't something he was akin to dealing with. He was saying the wrongs things without the intention of hurting his siblings as he clearly was. "That wasn't what I meant... it's just that-"

  
In the next moment, Alec was almost grateful that Clary had burst into the room distressed, the air of attention shifting somewhat from himself to her. She was physically distraught and that too grabbed Alec's attention.

  
"Guys! Simon's missing," Clary panted, her breathing harsh and her face stricken. It took a few moments for her to register the mood of the room, the distance between the estranged siblings, the tension that bubbled within that space. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

  
When it appeared that neither of her brothers would respond to Clary, Isabelle moved forward, although she looked tired and reluctant to the task. "Are you sure he hasn't just gone home?"

  
Clary didn't seem to notice the dismissal that Isabelle was suggesting. She shook her head rapidly, her hands clenching in frustration and eyes wide. "No, he would've said if he was! We were just outside, I couldn't have been looking away for more than a second and he's gone!" Clary's erratic eyes looked at Alec, a desperate look on her face. "You have to find him, please." Although it would seem like an ask, it came out as more of a statement.  
"I'm not in the business of finding lost mundanes," Alec plainly stated.

  
He mentally berated himself for allowing himself to get into this situation, he felt all too revealed for the first time in a long time. He had gotten used to the anonymity of the hood when out in the world, there was a freedom knowing that there were no ties between himself and people. But now he had three people looking at him with recognition and it unnerved him to no end.

  
"But you promised my mother..."

  
"My mission is to ensure your safety, not waste time with mundanes who have wandered off."

  
"How can you just not care?"

  
"Because I'm being objective," And suddenly Alec had reverted to a stoic mold of himself. "If you want help tracking your friend, get shadowhunters to do it."  
When Alec made way to leave, a hand on his shoulder stopped him and perhaps if it were just anyone he would have brushed it off and continued on his way. But a mingled reminiscence of his parabetia pull coaxed him to turn slightly.

  
"Just... tell me you'll be back, tell me I will see you again." Alec couldn't see Jace's face but the tone of Jace's voice was something Alec had never heard from him before. There was desperation, pleading and there was... hope.

  
"I will," Alec said, lips twitching. It was a promise he would hesitate to make but he had said it without restraint and he believed that he could do little to go against that promise, whether he wanted to or not.

  
Before the other three occupants in the room knew it, Alec was gone. An echo of his presence was all that remained in the room and Jace and Izzy stared at the spot where their lost brother had been. Because despite him being there physically, the part that had been their brother was still absent.

  
Izzy was the first to move in what seemed like an eternity to the siblings but in reality was mere seconds. The situation had seemed surreal and over far too fast. He had been here and now he was gone, how easily he had slipped from them once again. None of them had said what they had wanted to say, none of them had even gotten the chance. It seemed like a rotten and sickening trick. Izzy had watched Alec sleep, had brushed his hair to the side and taken in his features. What had stayed the same and what had changed with age. She could still see him. Her brother but she could also see the scars of the nine years he had endured. What had happened? Would she ever find out? She felt anger towards Clary, for letting her brother slip away from them, giving him the opportunity to part. Her fist clenched than eased because despite what she felt, she knew it was childish blaming it on Clary. "Come on, Clary. We'll go see if we can pick up on Simon's trail."

  
\---------

  
The assassin had a little direction after he left the Institute, which was extremely lacking security if he was able to pass through the front doors without being stopped in plain sight. The haste in his footsteps demonstrated his eagerness to leave the place. Ever since he had left the Institute, Alec's image of shadowhunters had contorted. Where once he had envisioned them the 'saviours' of the Shadow World, he now saw them as a toxic cycle of pride and greed. He avoided interacting with those of his kind as much as he could for he knew what they would think of him. Weird. Abomination. Perhaps a monster. Jacob and Evie had told him about the myths behind the Creed, what people often thought they were. Finding out that shadowhunter's feared and distrusted the Creed didn't give him much confidence. Despite how the Clave honoured and cooperated with the Creed's actions, it wasn't a sign of acceptance. Unlike the Silent Brothers who, although were feared, were also seen as an 'all knowing' entity entrusted with Nephilim secrets and history and the Iron Sisters who were idolised and glorified, the Creed was taboo. Their intentions were not aligned with the Clave's which was the source of this, the Creed's inclusion of downworlders and mundanes too was cause for distrust. Alec couldn't stomach that confrontation with his people. He couldn't stomach his parents hateful words towards downworlders be directed at him also. His siblings had confirmed as much just then. If they could look at him with such uncertainty, he didn't wish to see what other shadowhunters would do. Alec knew that shadowhunters wouldn't accept him for who he was now.

Two thoughts swirled in his head. Reporting back to the Creed or following up on Dorothea. Clary was with his brother and sister, and for the time being that meant her safety, but he'd eventually have to confront them all again. It was something that weighed like a stone in the pit of his stomach. Alec had no idea where to begin searching for Dorothea if she had reached Magnus since she'd be concealed from prying eyes. And if she had been captured by Valentine, then that would make his task all the more difficult. It was too early to face Valentine, especially by himself and he didn't trust that the risk of trying to invade Valentine's defences would be worth it. Either way, he'd have to inform Evie and Jacob about it, the Creed would definitely need to know. But he'd wait until he had solid proof of either. Although, if he were going to see whether she made it or not, he knew who would know. And he had an inkling of how to grab the man's attention. Pandemonium. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there! Chapter finally done and I kicked that writer's block in the ass. I hope I have done justice even though I feel I've fallen a tab short on my expectations but if I had spent any longer on this I feel I may have ruined it. And Clary! God she had to ruin that moment. It still doesn't feel like they have reunited yet does it? But fear not, I have the moment planned where they sit and talk about all this shit.
> 
> And I hope you all like that ending... guess who's meeting in the next chapter


	5. First Meetings

The club seemed just as alive as the other night, though the atmosphere had a dulled tone to it. Perhaps the reason was, as Alec discovered, that Magnus Bane was nowhere in sight. He had scanned through the crowd twice now, yet Magnus's presence was nowhere. The assassin knew that it was a long shot to assume that the warlock would come out of hiding but it was the only lead he could draw from.

  
"A simple text would have been nice," A British voice interrupted Alec's train of thought. "You know how Evie gets after a few days, she's an absolute mother hen behind her cold and steely front."

  
"I was... preoccupied," Alec said distantly, his eyes skimming the people.

  
The man looked perplexed at Alec for a moment. "Hmm, now I have to deal with two moody assassins. Your mood have anything to do with you leaving the New York Institute?"  
Somehow Alec wasn't surprised that Jacob knew because of course, they would know, he could do little without them knowing or at least having some idea of it. He looked at Jacob for the first time since his arrival, who stared back with open concern in his eyes. Alec often forgot how much they did care for him. Right now, everything was so simple and complex all at once, he was content with his life like few others were yet now he was finding that contentment was shaken. He developed a routine of a mission after mission. And there was little to stabilise it except for the normality he found being out on a mission and the company of the twins.

  
"They know I'm back. I was more comfortable when I could at least pretend that they weren't aware that I existed." The assassin said finally, the weight of it easing from the pit of his gut. "But now it's just... I can't go back to before that. Before they knew."

  
Jacob's eyes clouded with a deep understanding, and he put a hand on his arm. "Our promise still remains. You have that choice, always, to leave or stay," Jacob promised softly. "But for now, I believe," Jacob's tone picked up with the smirk that graced his face, "that we are looking for someone."

  
"'We'?" Alec asked. "I'm just looking for someone, I don't think it requires your area of expertise."

  
"I'm shocked that you don't have any confidence in my ability to be civil." Jacob mocked a frown. "Besides, the best way to grab a man's attention is to start by fucking their shit up. A little birdy told me a rogue unit of vampires would be touring this club tonight." If it were possible Jacob's grin grew even larger. "Shall we?"

  
Alec, for the first time since he had returned to New York, returned a genuine smile. His friendship with Jacob and Evie also had helped Alec better understand himself and his place in the world. In the beginning, the friendship had been a slow-building one, Alec often not cooperating in conversations for their first few meetings. Surprisingly, the twins had given him space, sitting comfortably across from him while they regaled stories from their past, never requesting for him to speak or demanding that he cooperate. It had been nice to not have expectations, to not disappoint. Then, one day, Alec had found himself asking questions. He wasn't sure what had spurred it, but after a few conversations and experiencing the twins' open and cheerful nature, it had led to him unknowingly trusting them. It had taken some time but the bond had strengthened between the three of them. And now, Alec would call them nothing less than his family.

  
Alec had spotted the vampires that Jacob was referring to, they hadn't attempted to make themselves hidden nor their intentions. Apparently, with the tensions rising in the Shadow World, it led many to believe that the rules were flimsy and easily manipulated. One would think that a smart man would lay low in times of crisis as not to direct attention to them but these vampires were clearly not of the intellectual breed. They were currently rounding a group of mundanes, oblivious to the danger they were in, as though they were lions and lionesses herding their prey. Alec had no hesitation in following Jacob's intel nor his lead on the matter, if the vampires were willing to so openly go against the Accords, Alec could only imagine what they did behind closed doors.

  
"And here I was hoping my first conversation with the warlock was going to be friendly," Alec remarked as he slid out his blades.

  
"I find this approach much more effective," Jacob replied, the two assassins snaking through the crowd towards the group of vampires, none noticing or anticipating the chaos that was about to descend upon the club in mere minutes.

  
Rather than fade into the backdrop of the club and silently take out their targets, the two assassins were looking to make a statement. A statement that Magnus Bane would hopefully hear loud and clear. No words were said but the mundane screams were piercing. The first vampire's head detached from his head is a blaze of dust. The crowd of the club went into an eerie silence before the cries got deafening and people moved erratically to escape the unknown danger. Though two assassins could easily eliminate six vampires without breaking a sweat, the point of the fight was to draw it out. So after the first one fell and the others were eager to avenge their fallen friend, the two focused on redirecting the force of the vampires attacking. It was easy to do so, the vampires were more focused on maiming the two assassins rather than thinking the fight through. Alec deflected the swings of the vampire's fist with ease, moving along with the movements of his attacker instead of attacking himself. The vampire he was facing went to lunge forward, in one fluid motion Alec grabbed him at his wrist, pivoting behind him and grasping the vampire's neck before crashing him to the ground. Both assassins used this technique and the fluid of the motions acted like elegant dancer's performance to an observer who could appreciate the art of it.

  
When the crowd of the club had dimmed to a few and the two had successfully deemed that they had caused a big enough commotion, the vampires fell in a rain of dust. The two stood for a few moments, waiting for something to happen perhaps and sure enough, it did.

  
If one would say that Magnus had the flare for the dramatics in life, Magnus would declare that an understatement. The slow clap into the now partially empty club had a tasteful echo off the walls. "Now that was a show."

  
Alec turned to meet the look of the voice that silked around the room. Alec had met people who stood out in the room as soon as they entered, drew in and drank up all the attention that aired in it as though it was a sweet wine. Magnus Bane, however, absorbed the attention entirely, demanded it even.

  
"I do believe you have my attention now gentlemen."

  
\------

  
"Jace, are you okay?" They had arrived at the Hotel DuMort, Izzy acting as the distraction while she and Jace went in for Simon. The hassle of getting weapons and finding a way into the vampire den just made Clary more impatient but what concerned her was the fact that Jace and Izzy rarely spoke out of turn. They seemed like robots on auto drive. She quietly felt as though it was somewhat her fault, for interrupting but she had been so worried about Simon she couldn't wait.

  
"I'm fine, Clary."

  
"Really, cause you don't seem fine."

  
Jace stopped walking, "Can we just... not do this right now." Jace was rather more brusque than he normally was, he now was directing that at Clary but he didn't blame her. Perhaps he blamed Alec more than he did her at the moment. Yes, that was it. Because how dare Alec. How dare he just not care. He couldn't believe that after nine years Alec could just walk away from them without even attempting to say goodbye. The distance that now spaced the brothers was doing nothing to ease the tensions between them. Instead, it allowed Jace's anger to stew and boil.

  
For a time Jace had thought that his acceptance over the loss of his brother had meant that he was finally healing from it. He hoped that was the case. After his mother and inevitably his father's death, Jace had learned that repression was the best form of coping for him. When Alec had literally dropped back into their lives it had been euphoric in a sense. Like life had been shocked back into him. He looked different. Was different. When they had carried him back into the Institute through the back way, Jace was taking stock of every feature that was new. A few scars that hadn't been healed in time. The weapon choices were certainly less Alec's style though he still adorned his bow. The knives and blades, some not even of Nephilim making, were new and foreign. He hadn't even realised they had moved Alec to his room, still unchanged from the day he had left. They had laid him down, Izzy had taken to fussing over Alec, straightening him up and cleaning the blood that still lingered on him. A slight gasp caused Jace to look up, Izzy had worked her way down to Alec's hands. It had taken a moment for Jace to see what she was so startled by. Rumours about Creed initiation had ranged from horrific to unnerving. Jace hadn't thought of it happening to Alec, hadn't liked to at least but the reality was a harsh burden when confronted with it. Where a ring finger would reside on Alec's right hand stood a short stub.

  
It was then, Jace thought, that he knew this may not be as simple as Alec waking up. And it turns out that he was right.

  
So, that was why Jace didn't want to talk about it. Because there was really nothing more to say on the matter. The duty of the mission was all he needed right now to clear his head, an outlet for his emotions that he didn't want to admit to. If he could do that, then perhaps he wouldn't feel like he had no control.

  
"He'll be back you know," Clary reassured him, although it felt like it had fallen on deaf ears. "I mean he has to if he's serious about what he promised my mother."  
"But that's the thing, Clary." Jace ground out. "He shouldn't need a promise to make him stay."

  
Clary sighed, "How are we going to find Simon?"

  
Grateful for the change in topics, Jace spoke confidently. "They'll have him in the most secure room in the building." Noticing Clary's doubting look, Jace continued. "Trust me, we'll know it when we see it."

  
And with that, Jace could easily fold into his shadowhunter self. Prioritise the mission of personal distraction. For now, that would do, but it won't last him forever.

  
\-------

  
"Magnus Bane."

  
"Speaking." Magnus moved forward to the two assassins, his steps seemed well calculated in their stride like with a wrong step he could trigger a pressure plate. "When I set out to find a mysterious and dangerous assassin, a friend told me it would be near impossible. Yet here I am, led like Hansel and Gretel to a delicious gingerbread house and find myself not one, but two assassin treats inside."

  
Alec squinted his eyes at the warlock. This reaction was unexpected. Normally, Alec had one of two confrontations; fear or anger. Yet here Magnus Bane was, smiling like a Cheshire Cat stalking a tantalising toy, his eyes scanning every detail of you. "Sorry to call on you in such a manner but we needed to contact you."

  
Magnus's eyes than glued to Alec and he couldn't help but feel studied under his lens. "And who are you?"

  
Whether Alec was aware of it or not, a lopsided grin did grace his face somewhat faintly. He realised that for a few seconds he hadn't spoken, hadn't replied to the man. "Alec."  
Magnus smiled the tiniest bit back, though something else had entered his gaze that Alec couldn't discern. "Hm, it appears that it'll just be you that I'll be acquainting myself with, not that I mind in the slightest."

  
Alec looked behind him and sure enough, Jacob was nowhere in sight, even in the darkest corners of the club. _Son of a bitch_ , Alec thought. He was not surprised in the least though, Jacob had the habit of leaving the diplomatic dealings with either himself or Evie, quoting that _'Jacob doesn't have the temperament to last more than five minutes standing in one place let alone not resorting to his weapons to deal with conflict.'_ Evie couldn't be more right.

  
"Now, shall we go back to my place? I make a mean cocktail, just ask Elias."

  
"I'm sure as your adviser, Elias would be highly against letting an assassin back to your hideout." Alec countered him.

  
"Here you are knowing more about me than I you," Magnus replied. "I don't like the imbalance in my life."

  
"You know my name."

  
"But I'd like to know more."

  
The two stared at each other as Alec absorbed the words, their weight it seemed, confused him. If it wasn't for Magnus opening a portal shortly after and guiding his hand into Alec's, pulling them through the portal, Alec feared that there would be an uneasy silence between them. Because what was he suppose to say to that? That perhaps he felt the same or that he was entirely sort circuiting at the suggestion. He wasn't used to people outside of the twins being so... casual with him. Not to mention that he found himself stunned by the warlock. It wasn't something he has had to deal with since Jace. A childish infatuation at the time that had only served to demonstrate how constrained he was in his old life. But now he had this freedom, yet he had little idea how to handle it.

  
\-------

  
The Bureau was as alive with activity as it had been for the past decade. Jacob had seen more assassins working in this single bureau then he had for the past seventy years of his service, eagerly working with new purpose. Not all the assassins were focused on the development in New York however, a few of the mundane assassins were working on the undercurrent of tension developing globally. But much of the Shadow world was focused on Mortal Instruments and the possibility of a revolt. There was a savage excitement behind it all, filling the atmosphere with a chaotic stir of an impending fight. Jacob would admit that he yearned for it, better than the bore of sitting and taking mediocre assassinations of low profile grunts. Jacob was eager to see blood be spilled, he cared little whose it was as long as it was someone who had earned it.  
Blood, or for that matter dust, had already been spilled that evening in the infamous club of Pandemonium. Jacob had grown tired of listening to Evie ramble on about strategy towards the peace of the Shadow World and possible leads on the Mortal Instruments, plus they hadn't received word from Alec in a few days. Evie couldn't leave her post at the time being and her attitude had soured when Alec hadn't reported back to them, Jacob receiving the blunt end of it all. Disagreements between the twins tended to end rather explosively like they always had in the past. Both sides left with the thought of not speaking to the other until a third party forced them to or matters grew dire.

  
"Jacob, nice to see you have come to your senses." Evie quipped, her eyes not even leaving the notes on her desk as she sorted through them.

  
"Lovely to see you too, dear sister," Jacob said kindly, completely ignoring Evie's statement. "Alec's fine by the way if you must know."

  
Evie's eyes finally left her notes. "You've spoken with him?"

  
"Spoken, seen, all of the above. He's fine, so you can drop your mood." Evie's eyes narrowed further yet Jacob gave her no time to comment. "In fact, we went on a mission. Had a good time, killed a couple of vampires, he now has a crush on Magnus Bane-"

  
"Wait, what?"

  
"The vampires deserved it, don't worry Evie," Jacob replied nonchalantly.

  
"Not what I was talking about and you know damn well, Jacob." Evied glared. "Is he currently with Magnus Bane?"

  
"I would describe it more as a blossoming spark of love intrigue..."

  
"Jacob!"

  
"Fine, fine. Yes, he had a lead and is now pursuing it, the boy is an adult Evie, you can't protect him from every little thing in the world." Jacob replied, in sharp contrast to his mood, Jacob said that with a tone of sincerity. "Besides, he is remaining focused on the task of protecting the Fairchild girl and monitoring the Morgenstern situation. Jocelyn is safe under our care, you must stop worrying, you're developing wrinkles."

  
"We're vampires, Jacob." Evie deadpanned. Her tension had dissipated though, Jacob's words relaxing her.

  
Jacob reached out and gripped Evie's shoulder; squeezing her arm gently. "Which makes it all the more a serious problem."

  
Evie rolled her eyes, though a laugh did leave her lips. She wished she could have her brother's carefree attitude. Yet her mind was clouded with the upcoming events that would decide whether they would survive or be slaughtered. The vampire could feel panic gripping her and clenched her fists, breathing out slowly. She couldn't let those thoughts ruin even the simplest moments she had with her family, enough as it was they barely would speak anything besides the missions. There was no room for such emotions or fear when dealing with delicate matters. Fear and emotions made people hasty, and that was something she saw all too often in Jacob. He made mistakes but she was comforted by the fact that she was by his side to correct them. But now with her new position as a leader, she couldn't find time to head out on every mission with Jacob. It was a reason why she had been short with Jacob recently, had fretted over Alec and exploded at Jacob for it. She was just worried about how events will play through all of this.

  
"Magnus Bane?" Evie cocked her eyebrow at Jacob.

  
Jacob nodded his head. "Should've seen Alec's face, goofiest grin I have ever seen."

  
"Couldn't he have developed a crush for someone less volatile?" Evie pondered rhetorically.

  
"The boy never attempts anything halfway, Evie."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, done and dusted. They have met, was it any good? Did you like it or dislike? Got a little into what Jace is feeling and also a a bit of what happened while Alec was still sleeping. Also did you guys enjoy seeing more of the twins. Yay or nay? I felt like I had to flesh it out more and tbh, I loved writing their characters. But looking forward to the next chapter, guess who's going to have talks and maybe certain people will be meeting other certain people, depends on where I cut the chapter. 
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated! Thank you all so much for your support.


	6. Over Cocktails and Nursery Rhymes

For a place that was supposed to be classified as a hideout, Magnus Bane spared no expense on the decor. Entering, Alec felt absorbed within the design of it, the sophistication of it all not lost on him. It was almost as enchanting as the warlock himself, suiting his style like a fitted pair of trousers tailored to him. When Alec surveyed the room, he counted eight warlocks excluding Magnus and Elias, who was immediately upon Magnus, remarking on him about the dangers of leaving the sanctuary. From the eight, two of them could be no older than ten years old. Alec reminded himself that children, however young, were always a part of the collateral damage. Consider yet distastefully disregarded. It was a sobering moment to realise that this was what it was going to come to. Children to be considered acceptable loses. _Don't worry_ , they say. _They suffer now so that the children of tomorrow can live it better_. Now that, Alec thought, was a double-edged blade of thought. A bleak faith that what you are doing is justified, and the comfort needed to pull yourself through whatever acts you may commit to your own cause. Valentine dabbled very closely with that belief system, and as much as others thought themselves better then it, they too would dabble in that same faith if it meant winning. Alec had struggled a long time with that mentality. With that psychosis of people. Yet he understood it and perhaps that was just as deadly. Because once you can understand it, you can see the benefits of both sides. You can play with it and toy with it until you get what you want. The Creed teaches a lot of things and not all of them are perfect. Not all of it is rumours and falsehood. Because rumours have origins, and sometimes the truth is more horrifying than the fiction. And your humanity can be what tips you over. So, you let it go. Put yourself in neutral. Disengage from it and stream away.

  
That is if you realise before it's too late.

  
When Dot had spotted Alec stepping through the portal, she made no hesitation about coming up to Alec and embracing him, causing Alec to huff a little bit indignantly. His arms stuck out at the side like awkward twigs, unable to bend into the mould of Dot's back.

  
"Thank you." Dot said sincerely. "If you hadn't done what you did, I'm sure I would be wishing I was dead at the moment. Valentine isn't known for his kind treatment of downworlders, and I'm sure my relationship with Jocelyn wouldn't have made it any better." Dot frowned. "How is she? I know you can't say much, but it'd be nice to know something. And Clary, how is she holding up?"

  
"I haven't heard anything from the contact about Jocelyn which is a good thing," Alec told her. "Clary is proving herself competent at the New York Institute, she has support there."

  
Dot sighed, whether, in relief or exhaustion, Alec couldn't differ. "Oh really? I am happy to hear that at least, and it's good to hear that Clary's taking this whole thing smoothly. I was worried that she would react drastically."

  
"Ah, it appears my two favourite people have reacquainted." Magnus slide between the two. "Let us speak somewhere more private."

  
Alec nodded his head, following Magnus's lead out to a more secluded room away from reaching ears, for that Alec was extremely grateful. The room they were now in was decorated with a more personal touch, as Alec came to realise that this must be Magnus's personal room.

  
"Now, darlings. Let's have a long overdue talk." Magnus mused, snapping Alec a beverage that he had never asked for. "I presume that we can all say that Valentine is alive and well and now actively hunting for the extermination of the Downworld."

  
"He's only now just started to make his movements more obvious, we connected this to his discovery of Jocelyn Fairchild and her possession of a Mortal Instrument," Alec confirmed.

  
"Do you know where it is now?" Dot asked.

  
There was a moment where he felt such information shouldn't be disclosed but yet he debated the benefits of keeping it secret. Both Dot and Magnus were liabilities in every sense of the word if they were discovered to have such information, so he compromised. "I have a theory of where it is but I haven't been able to confirm it yet."

  
"Perhaps we may be of some assistance with that?" Magnus suggested.

  
"Perhaps," Alec replied yet he made no further attempt at elaborating.

  
Magnus's rolled his eyes. "Worth a try." His annoyance had lingered which Alec could detect yet, for a strange reason Alec couldn't confirm that it was directed at him. "So, you know where it is which means it will remain safely out of Valentine's reach. Jocelyn is safe, also thanks to you, and Dot is alive and well. Again thanks to you. However, what happens next is still yet to be determined."

  
"What can we do next?" Dot shrugged her shoulders. "It's not like the Clave will step in and do anything about it. Valentine could be screaming his name from the rooftops and slaughtering downworlders as he did so and the Clave would still find deniability in that."

  
"Then maybe we shouldn't be looking towards the Clave for our salvation."

  
Alec's eyes met Magnus's when the words had left the warlock's lips. There was a question disguised as a statement and one that Alec couldn't outright deny. They weren't soldiers. That mentality had been trained out of Alec the moment he accepted his new life. They were not the heroes in the night. Nor were they the demons disguised behind hoods and shadows. They were a result. A result of need. An opposing force to combat another. As long as there were people who thought they answered for the many, there would be a Creed. Valentine was such. But there would always be another. And another. Humanity was like that. Peace is against the nature of those who crave it. There is always a war in the name of peace, there is always a struggle. Peace is the illusion given by men like Valentine. Valentine had his own convoluted notion of peace which could be simplified down to the hunger for genocide. There will be peace once the downworld is gone yet Valentine incites chaos through no other will than his own. No matter how tranquil the world may appear, the idolised peace never last and especially not the idea of peace by a single man.

  
A pause, Alec was put off balance. Yet he corrected himself, Magnus looked at him with hope and it was easily a thing he yearned to inspire, to incite. If any could good could come out of who he was, what he is. If not for the future of those children, if not for peace of a temporary kind. "Okay."

  
"Well, that was easy." Dot remarked.

  
"Easier said than done."

  
And how true such a statement would resonate with them in the future to come.

  
\---------

  
The rescuing of Simon had come off a lot easier than any of them could have anticipated. Simon even appeared to be no worse for wear if his clear ability to annoy Jace was any indicator. Clary and Simon had reunited with heartfelt words and sweet touches. Isabelle seemed somewhat put off from the whole affectionate affair, though she never voiced why. Now, they had rested soundly at the Institute.

  
Sleep was elusive for some though and at hours Jace didn't care for, he found himself walking towards the training room, finding comfort in the isolation of it all. What he didn't expect, but was no less surprised to discover, was Izzy already there, the sweat of her fight putting her hours ahead of Jace.

  
"Izzy." Jace no less startled Izzy from her next punch. "What are you still doing up?"

  
"I could-" Izzy threw her next kick unforgivingly to the punching bag. "Ask you the same thing."

  
"Touche." Jace retorted, deciding that a somber silence broken by flesh meeting leather was the best substitute for talking, his own fists duelling in practice against a bag.

  
Izzy seemed to tire of this method after a few minutes, breaking it. "I thought he'd be here. When we got back."

  
"Yeah. Me too."

  
A few more moments passed, flesh meeting leather and grunts joining in every few beats. A hand now rested on Izzy's arm, politely yet firmly guiding her to the benches. Now the two siblings sat in solemn silence.

  
"Do you feel worse, Jace?" Izzy finally asked. "Feel worse knowing what he's become. Oh god, that's horrible to say." Her head collapsed into her hands, her body racking with soundless sobs.

  
"Knowing what they have done to our brother." Jace finished for her instead. "Damn right I do. I feel nothing but hate towards them. I want nothing more than for the Creed to burn to ashes. They took him, Izzy but I gotta believe we can get him back."

  
"Jace..."

  
"It's the truth, Izzy. What kind of people kidnap children? What kind of people turn them into killing machines. I know our parents always told us that it was some honour but they couldn't have believed it knowing what they would do to Alec." Jace felt himself boil, the lines of the training room floor burning before he realised unushered tears had gathered.

  
"We'll bring him back, Jace. No matter what it takes." Izzy promised, the two huddled next to each other in solidarity, their vow made to each other. Neither realising how late, or early in this instance, it had gotten until the Institute started to tetter with the early work of the morning.

  
Clary was the first one to walk over to the siblings. "Hey, guys."

  
Izzy smiled, though the weight of the night caused her smile to seem strained. "Hi, Clary. What's up?"

  
"Um... I was just wondering if you guys knew anything about Magnus Bane?"

  
Jace's eyebrows scrunched in interest, standing up to face Clary, Izzy following with similar intrigue. "He's the High Warlock of Brooklyn, why?" Jace asked.

  
"When we were back at Hotel DuMort, that vampire Camille practically accused him of stealing my memories."

  
Jace shook his head about to retort but Izzy's hand stayed any comment. "Go on, Clary."

  
"I wouldn't really believe it but I keep having these vivid dreams of this Magnus guy with my mum and she's telling him to protect me."

  
"Memory fragments..." Izzy mumbled.

  
"If it was Magnus, he's powerful enough to evade the Silent Brothers, he could be the key to everything." Jace replied.

  
Clary shook her head. "People are risking their lives for me. First my mother, then Dot, Alec and Simon. All of them nearly died and for what? Even if I do get my memories back, they might not even lead to the Mortal Cup."

  
Jace sighed, walking over to her. "Your memories are the key to finding the Mortal Cup. I'm willing to take that chance with you."

  
"Annnd it looks like the mundie is leaving." Izzy drawled watching as Simon briskly walked down to the main floor of the Institute. Clary was immediately running to him, much to Jace's disdain.

  
"Izzy, go wake up Hodge. We might have a lead on the Mortal Cup." Jace told her. "How can one mundane be such a pain in my ass?"

  
\-----

  
"Tell me, Alexander." Dot had left a while ago leaving the two men alone. Alec had distracted himself looking over much of Magnus's possessions displayed on the bookshelves, his interest clear in the dusted collection that Magnus had accumulated over the many long years of his life. "Why do it?"

  
"Do what?"

  
"You're young yet you've decided this life, it can't have been an easy choice. Especially with how ridged Nephilim families can be."

  
"It was easy when the choice is taken from you." The words came out so freely that Alec startled himself by it. He didn't dare look at Magnus when he said it, he could predict the look on the man's face. Pity. Alec in no way shape or form pitied himself for what he had been given, he wasn't raised that way and he grudgingly thanked both Maryse and Robert for that. _We're Lightwoods, we break noses and face the consequences_. Except it was him that was facing the consequences for his parents' actions and that seemed somewhat twisted. "Given the chance now, I wouldn't leave though."

  
"But if you were given the choice back then, would you still choose this life?" Alec couldn't find himself answering a question that he feared that he wouldn't like the answer to. If he knew everything, perhaps. But no. He wouldn't have if given the choice back then.

  
Alec could hear Magnus's footstep click behind him, growing louder as the man got closer. His hairs prickled against his skin caused by the air that the warlock seemed to emit. It was new to Alec, to feel these things around someone, sensations that he hadn't reacted intentionally to manipulate someone. It was real and unprompted. An unfamiliar encounter. And he was unsure how he should react to it all. Alec could act. He could slip and mold his body to form whatever reaction was required of him. He had 'loved' someone in a sense that he had exhibited the signs that one would associate with the blossoming spark of love. Yet he had also reverted to cold indifference when information had slipped from a mouth or his blade was coated red and he no longer 'loved' them. But here his hitching of breath, however faint it was, hadn't been intentional nor with the purpose of manipulation.

  
Alec turned to see Magnus surveying him as if he was reading an eye catching headline. "I don't pity you, Alexander. I'm amazed really, your dedication and compassion are... unexpected and enlightening in such dreary times."

  
Alec cocked an eyebrow. "Compassion? That's not something closely associated with someone like me. Heartless and cold certainly. Do anything for an exchange of coin."

  
"Then you have only encountered the inept. You didn't have to make the promise you did to Jocelyn Fairchild, nor did you have to do what you did for Dorothea. If you were not compassionate you wouldn't have made the promise you did to me this evening."

  
"You're presuming a lot," Alec said with a vein of defence. "I could have ulterior motives."

  
Magnus hummed as though he disbelieved the idea served to him. But Alec felt he couldn't believe himself any more than Magnus could. "You know, I remember there used to be a nursery rhymes about the Creed. Something downworlders would sing to the little ones. People have forgotten it but I remember, something about them being brave and bold I believe of course that was also accompanied with the latter verse of chopping and dicing them if they were naughty but that's expected of all nursery rhymes."

  
"You'll have to teach it to me sometime."

  
"Looks like I'll have to be teaching you a lot of things," Magnus smirked. "But that's for other times. You didn't finish your cocktail, I'm insulted."

  
"Alcohol doesn't sit well with me. Don't get me wrong it was... nice." Alec stumbled out, as though the words were cotton in his mouth.

  
"Fret not, I believe I'll have all the time in the world to change your opinion on the matter."

  
\-------

  
Hodge had always been understanding and perhaps that was why, when siblings couldn't find themselves able to confide in their parents, they did so with Hodge. Izzy pitied the man. She couldn't imagine what a life being confined to one building must be like, yet the man didn't complain or rather he couldn't. The Uprising was before Izzy's time, so when she thought back on the events she couldn't find herself holding much resentment towards Hodge, especially when the man had practically raised her and her siblings in the absence of their parents.

  
"Hodge, we think we have a lead on the Mortal Cup, something to do with Magnus Bane," Izzy informed dully, Hodge upon her entry to his room had briskly pulled a shirt on, finishing his morning training.

  
"Magnus Bane?" Hodge's eyes glistened as though remembering a memory that he had long forgotten. "His involvement, if true, doesn't seem too surprising."  
"As I said, it's only a lead. We thought it best to look into it though."

  
"It wouldn't have anything to do with that unconscious man you brought into the Institute the other night." Izzy's footstep stopped, preventing the distinctive click of her heel from echoing down the hallway of the Institute. "You didn't think I'd notice, did you?"

  
"Honestly, we hoped no one would find out." There was no point in lying anymore when Hodge had clearly caught them.

  
"I'm not going to ask but I'm going to have to if it becomes a problem, your parents will find out eventually if it becomes a regular thing."

  
And secretly, Izzy prayed that they wouldn't. But that pray, she feared would go unanswered.

  
Soon, herself, Jace and Clary were gathered in front of a screen, watching as images of Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, flickered passed on the screen.

  
"Magnus Bane." Hodge started. "He's over three hundred years old. And, as you can see, he's not exactly shied away from the pleasures of every century." Was that a note of distaste they could hear? "His tastes are both exquisite and quite excessive."

  
"He looks like the Downworld's David Guetta," Clary remarked as the final image rested on a modern photo of Magnus at his club.

  
"David Guetta is already a downworlder." Izzy smiled at Clary. "Vampire? Ever seen him in the daylight?"

  
"Okay, getting a little off topic here." Jace clipped them.

  
"Jace is right. Now, Magnus Bane is one of the most powerful warlocks I have ever known." Hodge said with a sense of awe. "He has a deep mistrust of Shadowhunters."

  
"Why would he help my mother remove my memories then, if he has such a distrust towards Shadowhunters?" Clary asked.

  
"'Help' may not be the best term." Hodge corrected. "Now did he provide a service for Jocelyn? Perhaps. But more than likely your mother would have paid Magnus handsomely for his magic."

  
"Warlocks normally like to get their payment upfront," Izzy added.

  
"We've gotten word from the Clave that most warlocks have gone into hiding, now that the Circle is actively hunting them." Jace idly tapped his fingers on the table, thinking back to how Alec had helped Dot escape. He could only assume that that meant Alec was aware of this as well.

  
"Valentine must be searching for the warlock, where did Jocelyn-" A searing sizzle emitted into the room, the sound akin to roasting steak on the frying pan. Hodge grunted in pain.

  
"Hodge, your rune," Clary asked alarmingly. "You okay?" When Hodge declined to answer, out of pride or whatever Shadowhunters felt. "So how do we find Magnus?"

  
"We don't," Jace said simply. "He finds us. We set up a meeting, somewhere protected. Lure him out of hiding."

  
A devilishly smile crept on Izzy's face. "And I know just where to do it."

  
\-------

  
"How haven't we find the warlock that has aided Jocelyn yet? And how is it that my only effective lead came from the dying breath of Pangborn and even then I have nothing!" Valentine sounded tired, as though he had finished a long speech of repeating the same points, always falling on deaf ears and having to be reiterated to make an impact.

  
"Sir, I can-"

  
"You know what?" Valentine shushes the man. "Your lips are moving yet I hear nothing. What I need is answers, answers to who has Jocelyn, where that damn warlock is and where they have hidden the Mortal Cup."

  
Valentine continued to rave to his silent followers who dared not speak out of fear of how the crazed man may act towards interruption. His unpredictability just as strong as his ambitions. Yet even more silently stood shadows that didn't even emit air as a noise, they stood as though they did not stand in the room. Yet they did and they watched. Listening to all that which Valentine would shout into a room which feared to respond, giving them droplets of information freely and unconsciously willingly.

  
\--------

  
"Magnus please consider the other warlocks..." The fire message had been received and it had intrigued Magnus to no end. He had to admit, it was far less dramatic then receiving a fire message from one of his bouncer of Pandemonium that two individuals were causing a scene, but the necklace had certainly garnered enough interest that he was willing to see exactly what those Shadowhunters had to say. Yet with the way Elias was talking, he feared a migraine might damper his more chipper mood that he had been in.

  
"When did you become so talkative?" Magnus drawled.

  
"Magnus, I beg you to reconsider, first bringing that Shadowhunter here and now this." Magnus spun on his heel to face Elias, his finger delicately brushing over the young warlock's forehead. "Not everyone is pleased with you bringing a Shadowhunter here. What happened to distrusting them?"

  
"Always frowning, Elias." Magnus scrutinised. "You may be immortal but, mmm... you're not immune to crow's feet. As for that 'shadowhunter', you're right I don't trust them, but I trust Alexander and that is why he is here."

  
"You cannot attend this meeting. No matter what this shadowhunter is offering." Elias all but implored with the High Warlock. "Valentine is getting closer. It is far too dangerous for you to leave the lair again so soon."

  
"I was alive when the Dead Sea was just a lake that was feeling a little poorly." Magnus mused. His tone was light yet the stare he sent to Elias implied anything but. "While I value your counsel... so much red brick makes me feel like a caged animal."

  
"Is one necklace really worth the risk?"

  
Magnus's eyes narrowed at the comment. It was a comment made without thought or care out of the mouth of an unknowledgeable warlock inexperienced with the world still. "This necklace is." Magnus paused, a moment to collect himself. "This discussion is over. I will meet with Clary Fairchild and the Wayland boy. Mmm! Go to the Spiral Labyrinth and tell Tessa we need more shields. While I'm gone, have every warlock maintain the protective wards. That Shadowhunter will remain here for added protection in case the situation gets out of hand." Magnus's eyes scanned the room, skimming the faces of all the warlocks, carefree and relaxing. "I may be prepared to take on Valentine... but my guests are not." Magnus passed the still unfinished drink in his hand to Elias. "Drink up." And the young warlock did so, his nerves needing the numbing aid of alcohol in his system.

  
\------

  
Normally, Izzy would be elated to have a mission going to a downworlder rave. It was a perfect combination, truly intoxicating for a shadowhunter like herself who craved the fight as much as she craved the allure of a party. Yet as she idled the weapons rack, lightly feathering the array of weapons as though she contemplated them as a choice when she didn't really care for any of them. She had her whip always with her after all. Really she was mulling over them to waste time before the mission, she didn't care to speak to anyone just yet for she knew where the conversation would lead to and honestly after last night she didn't want to go that road quite so soon. She was glad the distraction though. At least now she wouldn't be focusing on the fact that Alec hadn't come back, or her gut retching fear she had when he finally did come back and didn't smile or embrace her the way a brother should.

  
However, when they finally arrived inside Pandemonium she allowed for her worrisome thoughts to dissipate and the air of the club inhaled her senses, she grinned at it.

  
"Blend in. Keep your weapons ready." Jace advised, leading the group into the club as he spotted Magnus. Izzy trailed back, her sequined outfit blending into the crowded as she kept her distance, planning to keep an eye out as the lookout. When Jace spotted Magnus, the warlock himself seemed to be fretting over his looks, absorbed in his own image as he brushed and redid his makeup, clearing of it of any imperfections. "Magnus."

  
Upon his name being spoken, Magnus broke eye contact with the mirror he once gazed at, his eyes meeting the Shadowhunters, zeroing in on Clary when she walked up to him. "Clary Fairchild. You've grown into a beautiful young woman."

  
"Magnus Bane." Clary spat the words back as though it was poison on her tongue. "So you're the one who stole my memories."

  
"At your mother's request." Magnus corrected. "She knew the risk."

  
When Clary seemed to accept the answer, losing her bravado and the scorn on her face, Magnus nodded. His hand now extended to Jace expectingly. "Show me the jewelry, Shadowhunter."

  
Jace raised his hand, letting the necklace fall and dangle tauntingly in front of Magnus, the red jewel glinting in the strobe lights of the club. Magnus grinned, reaching out to grab it only to have Jace pull it just out of the warlock's grasp. "Give Clary back her memories and you get the jewelry."

  
Magnus longed to have the jewelry back in his grasp, his eyes never leaving it, so he didn't care for the ultimatum. His fingers curled. "I have to confirm its authenticity."  
Jace considered not doing it, not playing the warlock's games, but ultimately relented, conceding and placing the necklace into Magnus's awaiting palm. Magnus turned the necklace, looking at the backing to find the etching Amor still clear, as though it had been carved into it only yesterday. "'Amor verus numquam moritur'. True love cannot die." The words echoed in Magnus's head and were as fresh as the sting of a paper cut. "Oh, how I have missed this jewel."

  
"Now it's your turn to pay up." And Magnus had half the mind to simply portal out of the club when Clary interrupted his thoughts. He'd much prefer the company of Alexander or Dot then what these Shadowhunters were giving him.

  
"Interesting how two days in a row I have had Nephilim yearning for my attention," Magnus mumbled. Jace's eyes narrowed, mouth opened to respond to the muffled comment but Magnus was quick to speak again. "I wish I could retrieve your memories, but I no longer have them."

  
Clary stared back alarmingly, "What? Where are they?"

  
Magnus paused, staring at the two, debating whether to tell the two the truth or how it would be taken if he just left. Afterall, in a sense, he had fulfilled his end because he could no longer give Clary her memories back and he had neither the time or the bother to go to complicated methods to get the memories. But also, there was the fact that if he did get the memories, Valentine could easily get his hands on them through Clary. "I fed them to a memory demon for safekeeping."

  
"And why the hell would you do that?" Jace nearly shouted in frustration.

  
"To protect Clary and the Cup." Magnus rolled his eyes. "If Valentine ever captured me, he could torture Clary's memories out of me. Just as he would have to Dot because of her association with the Fairchilds."

  
"Wait, what? You know Dot? Is she okay?" Clary rapidly asked, her worry spewing it out. In all the excitement, though that seemed an ill-fitting word for how Clary had felt about it all, from the past couple of days her mind had slipped Dot into the background.

  
"I would presume so. She's back at my lair thanks to the Nephilim boy keeping her company."

  
"Nephilim boy?" Jace questioned. His mind connecting dots, after all, it had been Alec who had saved Dot. And if Dot had made it to Magnus's lair, perhaps Alec had too gone there to make sure Dot was safe. "Wait, do you know Alec?"

  
Magnus's eyes returned to the Wayland boy, yet he did not answer. It was not his place to reveal information of Alexander to just anyone who asked, though his mind was intrigued that the Wayland boy asked with such compassion. Instead, he extended his hand to Clary. "Come with me, Clary." He got closer to her, his hand enveloping her own as he tried to coax her towards him. "My lair can offer you protection no Shadowhunter ever could."

  
If Jace wasn't clouded with thoughts of Alec, he may have scoffed at the idea that Magnus had put forward. But his mind was swimming with it all, desperate to get to Alec yet fearful at the same time. Why was he afraid of seeing him? It seemed so wrong.

  
"No!" Clary exclaimed, pulling her arm from Magnus's grasp. "No, I'm not going anywhere with you."

  
"Don't be a fool. You mother wants you to live."

  
"Then get me my memories back from whatever demon you gave them to." Clary stepped forward, impossibly too close for Magnus's comfort as she glared at him.

  
"Valentine is hunting you too." Magnus was unbothered by Clary's attempts at intimidation, however. "And every moment we are outside my lair's protection is a moment closer to Valentine is to finding us. I won't offer again." Done with this fruitless attempts, Magnus clapped his hands together, swirling his blue magic to snap a portal open behind him. When it looked like Magnus was about to step through the portal, Jace's hand snapped to his arm. Magnus looked down at the offending limp, looking as though he wanted to burn it off him.

  
"Wait," Jace asked. "Is he- Is Alec with you?" And if Magnus wasn't mistaken he tasted a hint of jealousy with that question yet it was heavily doused with concern.

  
Before he could respond to the Wayland boy, a voice cried 'Look out!' and the flash of a whip streamed passed the three as it hooked around a Circle member's throat tightening to the point where a crack caused his neck to lose support for the man's heavy head. Magnus took this moment of distraction to slip from the Shadowhunters grasp and take his leave through the portal. Not hearing the cries of 'Waits' and 'Stops' coming from both Clary and Jace.

  
Izzy ran over to them. "Looks like that was the only one. Area's secure."

  
Jace looked down at his hand, feeling the weight of something in his clenched fist. When he unclenched his fist, it revealed a small button. He looked back up to where Magnus had once stood, as though he was hoping to ask the man why. "Come on, guys." He said instead. "It's not safe here."

  
Upon being outside, the group regathered. The failure of the evening seemed to dawn on Clary, her eyes rimmed red and her movements akin to a shocked patient coming from an accident, slow and sluggish, automated only through stimuli. Jace wanted to keep moving, had to if he wanted to keep his thoughts from sticking but Izzy's glare spoke without the need for words and he stopped in his tracks.

  
"Clary, it's going to be fine." Izzy tried to console her, her arm wrapped around the other's shoulders in an attempt to calm her more.

  
"No, it's not. My mother is still in hiding and my last chance at getting my memories back just disappeared into thin air. People are dying because of me. Magnus will never come out of hiding again. And I will... I will never get my memories back!"

  
"Don't be so sure." Jace lifted his hand, revealing the button pinched between two of his fingers. "You give up too easily."

  
Clary shook her head. "What's a button supposed to do?"

  
"He's going to track Magnus," Izzy informed, watching as Jace drew a tracking rune on his hand and clutched the button in a vice grip, closing his eyes to further concentrate on the action. "The button belonged to him, if the connection is strong enough, we will be able to find him."

  
It took awhile, Izzy and Clary feared that at points Jace was going to give up as light twirled and dimmed repeatedly around his hands as though it fluttered and pulsed with life. But Jace was determined because if he could find Magnus, then that meant he could possibly find Alec.

  
"Got it!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. Some parts of this chapter were truly annoying to write but I got through it. I'm liking writing the Malec scenes. But what do you think of them? 
> 
> If there are any mistakes or errors, let me know since this is unbeta-ed and my tired brain doesn't pick up on all my mistakes.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, bookmarks and kudos. Really gets me going for writing the story.
> 
> Have any question, suggestions or just want to chat? Hit me up on my tumblr at the parabatiabros dot tumblr dot com!


	7. Dear Alexander...

_Dear Alexander,_

  
_By the time you read this letter, you will doubtlessly be confused, for that, we offer our sincerest apologies. That was never our intention but we are assured that we have raised you to be adaptable and adapt you must. Trust that we would have never put you through this if the situation hadn't been what it was. Similarly, we would never have subjected you to any of this had we not been so desperate._

  
_The people you are now with are known as the Creed, you no doubt have heard of them before either through rumours or Hodge's teachings, or perhaps the name is unfamiliar to you and that may be for the best. Be assured that they are not half as bad as you may have been lead to believe, otherwise we wouldn't have agreed to this. They may not find their interests aligned with the Clave, they are in their own way, just as honourable. You are taking on the sins of both your father and I. Suffice to say that we are not proud of this, but you, our dearest son, are the only one who can do it. For Jace is not our true son and Izzy we feared could never cope with it, this burden has fallen on you. Keep that in mind when you continue on this journey, that you are keeping Izzy from the same fate as your own. You are strong enough to bear it._

  
_Clearly, you will wonder why us, and ultimately why you are being taken from your family. From us. That question is something we have avoided telling all of you for the longest time. We made mistakes in our youth, mistakes not easily overlooked by the Clave. We believed that we were right in our actions at the time, that what we were doing would save the Shadow World from demons, but now we are confronted with the harsh truth of it. That we were not right and now we are facing the consequences for such actions. Those mistakes involved the Uprising, so you can understand why the punishment must be as severe as it is. We made a deal, a deal that was so far in the future and uncertain that we never believed the day would come that we would have to pay. That deal was you. A sacrifice of something dear to us. Trust that in the beginning we didn't know that this would be the price for our cooperation. Just know that it will not be forever. We entrust you to make us proud Alexander, remember that you are representing the Lightwood name, that no matter what that name will always be a part of who you are. And no amount of time will ever change that about you._

  
_The terms under which you are staying with these people, and for which you can eventually return home under, are as follows:_

  
_You have a mandatory stay of three years there, at the end of which you can choose to leave or stay should you feel the need to do so. During this time, we should hope that you take full advantage of the position you have been given. That you learn what they teach you and use it. In addition, should you see fit to stay, we as your family would understand. A sense of duty has always been ingrained within the Lightwood family, though we hope that an opportunity does present itself in the future where we can see you once again._

  
_We believe that although this may seem harsh, that these terms given to us are generous and lenient in the context of the circumstances. Try to see it that way as well, Alexander._

  
_We are hopeful that you will see this situation as an opportunity, and not resist the circumstances that you have been placed under. Remember above all that you are a Shadowhunter and nothing will change that._

  
_With love,_   
_Your Mother and Father_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter update than usual. I was debating when to post this out to you all, but I figured that now would do. I also was debating whether to post the letter in a few more chapters from now but I figured with how the story is progressing that now was good for it. I have been thrilled about the response to this story, that people are actually invested into the plot of it instead of just certain parts of it. That is the most wonderful thing to hear. I hope I can continue to intrigue people and keep your interest throughout the story. 
> 
> I have had a stressful week thus far, so a chapter update might be a little late for the week. But don't fear, it will be out soon. 
> 
> So, did this letter answer any questions you were having? What did you think of it? I would love to hear what you thought of it.
> 
> Don't forget you can find me also at my tumblr account at parabataibros


	8. Unsteady Perfection

Alec had resigned himself to staying near Dorothea rather than mingling with the other warlocks, from the looks that were tossed his way he had guessed that such an endeavour would be unwelcome. Warlocks had gained their distrustful nature aptly it seemed. The side glances had warned Alec not to push his welcome any further then he had to.

  
"Don't take it too personally, Alec." Dot said as though Alec was too invested in the thoughts of the other warlocks at the time. They had good reasons to be distrustful of Shadowhunters. But Alec appreciated Dot's gesture of kindness nonetheless. "Warlocks are inherently distrustful of strangers. The fact that they haven't cursed you yet is a miracle in of itself."

  
"Where's Elias?" Alec asked, his eyes roaming the quiet crowd of warlocks and not even tossing a look to Dot to acknowledge what she had said. Prodding his fingers along the titles of the books on the shelf which he had been doing for most of his time since Magnus' departure that he felt he could recite the titles off by heart, Alec finished, "It's odd that an adviser would leave for so long."

  
"No idea." Dot merely shrugged her shoulders, not paying much mind to Magnus's jittery adviser, "Perhaps he is off running errands for Magnus."

  
"He's been gone since Magnus left, whatever errand he had to do I'm sure it couldn't outweigh the importance of making sure this place is secure and protected..." Alec's phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket stopping his gliding finer in its track to retrieve the phone, but when he read the message on it Alec's whole body went rigid. "Prepare for an attack."

  
Dot's own slack figure went to a stressful attention, her eyes widen. "What?"

  
"Valentine's men are coming." 

  
"Wh- How?" Dot asked, her alarm gathering her to her feet in a flash.

  
"Someone must have alerted them, I don't think it's a coincidence that Magnus isn't here when they are coming either." Alec reached behind his back, bow materialising into sight, flicking it out. "Get everyone ready to hide. We have the advantage of knowing that they are coming, if we're lucky no one will have to come out of hiding."

  
"You'll face whoever Valentine sends by yourself? If Valentine believes that the warlock who protected Jocelyn and Clary is here, he won't just send a couple of his men. He'll send an army." Dot stressed, her eyes pouring into Alec's own as though they were trying to scream some rational sense into them. "You may be nephilim and an assassin but I know physically endurance doesn't last forever, runes or not."

  
"If I can hold whoever he sends off long enough for Magnus to return, then I won't be by myself." Alec reassured her. "Besides, these people aren't prepared to fight. Just make sure that everyone sticks together and stays hidden long enough."

  
Dot stared at Alec for a moment longer before dropping her gaze. "Fine but do not think that I won't hesitate to step in if it even looks like they have the upper hand."

  
The warlocks had ushered themselves into the darkness, concealed from sight. When it came time for the first footsteps to echo in the now seemingly abandoned lair, one wouldn't be as amiss to say that the Circle looked like cautious deer approaching a new field, treading the land as though it could crumble beneath their feet any second. The lair felt oddly peaceful and calm, whipping around the occupants like a deadly security, even as the enemy breached passed the defences that once protected the sanctuary.

  
Four Circle members first entered the main room, spreading out in a fashion to cover more ground. If they were suspicious about the quietness of the room, they didn't openly voice it to each other or acknowledge it. Their faces pensive and focused for the slightest bump that would signal them into action like a starting gun. However, Alec didn't make a sound. When one of them fell slightly behind he dropped just as quickly as Alec's hand let go of the notched arrow. And when the body thudded to the ground the other three spun with twinged alertness, the weapons raised the strike, and Alec was quick to dispatch them. Three arrows flew with such velocity that one could mistake them for being fired at the same time, each meeting their target's heart with acute accuracy.

  
The sound of a portal opening behind him caused Alec to notch another arrow and draw it, spinning around to face the unknown intruder. The tip of the arrow sat mere inches from Magnus's face, and as such caused the warlock to look slightly affronted from the unwelcoming sight. Silently he raised his hand and nudged the arrow away from his face, Alec in turn lowered the bow but he kept the arrow snugly notched in place.

"Certainly not the most unpleasant greeting I have ever received." Magnus commented, half sarcastically, half seriously. "I'll give you a pass all things considered here."

  
The assassin rose an eyebrow at the comment, lowering his bow to his side when he felt the presence of a threat was no longer there. "Sorry about that. I'm sure you can understand. All things considering that is..."

  
Magnus glanced around, his attention caught on the slumped bodies skewered each by an arrow. "Yes I most certainly can." Both of them seemed to catch the sound of a crash in another room, immediately turning to the direction of the sound. Magnus' fingers flicking up and flaring with shimmering blue that licked at the air like violent little whips. "Looks like I still have some uninvited guests."

  
"Guess we'll just have to deal with them," Alec said with a hint of mirth. The two seemed to catch the hint of excitement from a fight despite the circumstances, bounding off one another and growing in momentum. 

  
Between the two, they had handled ten of Valentine's men with ease. When it came down to the last of them, Alec had made it quick work of incapacitating the Circle member with an arrow to the knee while Magnus's surge of magic rendered the man dead before he could recover from the assault, slumped against a fallen bookcase as his finally breath came out in a puff.

  
"Well done." Alec remarked in an approving voice, eyeing the rest of the room as though he suspected that an unknown enemy would suddenly spring from the shadows.

  
"More like medium rare." Magnus gave a thoughtful tilt of his head as though he were to begin critiquing his own work. But he seemed to stop himself and turned to face Alexander. "If you don't mind me saying dear, we make quite the team."

  
It may have been the thrill of the fight, the adrenaline pumping through his body at such a fast rate that made him feel so energetic which made Alec's tongue loose but without realising Alec uttered, "Yeah I think so."

  
"Other than the distant feeling of dread, I would remark that this could have turned out far worse than it has," Magnus said easily, yet the way his lips angled upwards meant that he hadn't missed what Alec had said in that moment nor what it meant. "But the fight is far from over."

  
It appeared that no truer words could be said in such a time as they stood amidst the upturned room. It didn't matter how tranquil all of this seemed right now, how the calm ebbed into the room once more as the two released breaths they hadn't realised they had been holding since the start. The two thought of how this could have turned out, how this calm that engulfed them would certainly not last. It never did. And if Alec were as honest as he would like to be, he did not want to believe that life would continue to move in such a fashion. A constant state of anticipating the worst. It had been his life. Preparing and anticipating. He continued to mould into a role that fitted for a greater purpose in the whole outlook of the world. Figures that were a part of something grander yet that grander entity never seemed to come.

  
_"Your aim is off."_

  
_"I'm still meeting my mark, what does it matter if it is not perfect?" There was a moment then that Alec felt like throwing the stupid bow to the ground, the thing a constant reminder of his imperfections._

  
_"It matters because a slight inch off your mark could cost you your life Alec," the twin, Evie, scolded._

  
_The two had been training in a clearing, the forest had turned a bright blood red preparing for the autumn to take hold and the wind would wisp through the leaves fluttering them gently. A part of Alec had been reluctant with these training sessions, he hadn't tried to mould into this new life. But there was a familiarity that comforted him between this life and his old one. The sense of duty and honour seemed to glimmer and merge between them that it had started to blur in Alec's mind. He could no longer find a point of difference, an anchor that told him that he would endure nothing more than he already had. Yet, he believed that that point would be proven wrong today._

  
_A part of Alec grew angry at this training for it never seemed to end, but he was mostly relieved that it was no longer a competition and show of who was better. Merely it was just what it was. Training. Clearly, Evie and Jacob had sensed Alec's hesitation and trepidation of such sessions, the dread about a distant underlying fear of being a disappointment becoming a point of concern for their trainee. Being too worried about disappointment wouldn't allow for Alec to learn and grow, only stunt and prevent him from further his talents. As such Evie and Jacob had taken care of how to approach these sessions. Commonly, new trainees would train with others at their own level. So private sessions seemed the best way for Alec to develop into his own, to prove to himself first before trying to prove to others that he was competent._

  
_"I cannot be perfect every time!" Alec said in nothing more than a frustrated grunt._

  
_The older twin looked at the slightly off arrow with an interest, as though it were a piece of art that puzzled her greatly. "Then you must anticipate what could happen if your mark isn't perfect." Evie said aloud finally. A brief pause settled, she worked through her head what words to pick, knowing she had to be careful. "Though, there is no amount of training that can prepare you having your eyes gouged from your skull, for having your skin flayed from your body inch by inch, for being abused in the vilest of forms, burnt and drowned. Suffocated over and over, only for you to be brought back each time. And relive your worst experiences again and again. There are ways for people to enter your mind, manipulate it so that no matter what they do. No matter how they end your life, they can bring you back to relive it without scratching your physical body. They will torture you to death and then start it again. When extracting information it is an effective tool, if not a horrid one."_

  
_"But if it isn't real, then it can't really hurt you."_

  
_"It does if you believe it's real, to the mind the pain will always be pain. They'll create a world, make you believe it is real. To have that pain repeated, it would break anyone. Mundane, Downworlder and Shadowhunter alike. And if you can't stop it, then you'll reach a point of insanity that no one can save you from."_

  
_Alec felt himself coil from the conversation, as though to protect himself from the threat that wasn't threatening him yet. To know such evils existed and were such a reality to him was unsettling and frightening at the same time. Made him anxious at the thought of it. But what was most frightening was the fact that he couldn't prevent such a thing from happening, not if he wasn't perfect. It only slammed that possibility into reality for him._

  
_"What can I do then?" Alec asked._

  
_"You use what your mind will give you." Evie tapped at the side of his head. "First you must treat your life before as though it were a dream, give up on the hope that your life before can be returned. Assume nothing is what your captor says, that they are lies.What hope you have can be a dangerous weapon that your interrogator can wield to break you." Evie led Alec to a nearby tree log, fallen and brittle from decomposition. "When we are under extreme stress your mind will conjure anything to separate you from that pain. In forms of hallucinations, or displacement. Use what it gives as tools, anything that can give you a reprieve from that hell. Soon there will be nothing more for you to do other than for you to retreat into your mind."_

  
_"Hope is dangerous." Alec concluded._

  
_"That it is." Evie nodded. "Having it means there is something to lose but also something that you desire. People will always seek to exploit that in you Alec, especially with who we are."_

  
When Clary, Jace and Izzy entered the lair, bodies laid sewn across the ground. At first it looked like a field reminiscent of a battlefield, the furniture thrown and broken and the bodies twisted. Yet upon a closer inspection it wasn't a battle at all. A battle implied causalities on both sides yet the bodies that laid cold on the floor were not that of warlock but only nephilim. Circle members were the only ones that had suffered loses in this 'battle', a startling revelation.

  
"My god," Izzy whispered, her feet stepping lightly over the corpses like their was a fear of disturbing the scene.

  
Jace looked at the bodies with a scrutinising glare, crouching down to inspect one laying soundly against the wall, an arrow nestled in her chest. "I don't think this was the warlocks." His finger bumping the arrow, fingertip following the engraved runes along the shaft.

  
"Now some of this credit does go to me," a voice echoed through the room as Magnus Bane gracefully walked in. "I would think of it more like a team effort."

  
Though they had been successful, it was only drawn from luck and chance that warlocks hadn't died that day. Emerging from the shadows scattered the once hidden warlocks, treading carefully as though cautious of the once safe room itself. Whether they were hesitant of unseen Circle members or the present Shadowhunters that lingered in the room remained unknown and unanswered. Any air of hesitation had quickly dissipated when Dot appeared from the crowd, her eyes immediately falling towards Clary.

  
"Dot!" "Clary!" They both cried in relief, each running to embrace each other with something akin to desperation, frantically pulling each other into a suffocating embrace. It seemed that the commotion of the reunion along with the relief of the warlocks was a protective blanket that Alec could hide behind for a short while, since no attention was drawn to him, neither of his siblings seemed to notice their lost brother skulking in the shadows.

  
"Alexander," Magnus exclaimed, twirling on his heels, "I believe this calls for a celebratory drink!"

  
Alec nearly groaned aloud at the almost incredibly bad luck that he was having lately as his siblings eyes snapped to him with precision.

  
Izzy seemed to start to race over to Alec with eagerness but suddenly halted her pace, as though the thoughts just entered her mind told her that it wasn't right, as if she remembered about the situation they were currently in with Alec. "Brother." It seemed so formal and wrong.

  
Magnus cocked his eyebrow at the exchange he was watching with what Dot would later remark was too much interest for a couple of Shadowhunters.

  
"Izzy." The pause after gave it away that Alec clearly wasn't intending to say anything after that but he thought about it for a second longer before adding, "It's good to see the both of you again."

  
"Could've fooled me," Jace mumbled just loud enough for it to reach Alec's ears, whether intentional or not Alec could not determine. Izzy's glare that she shot Jace's way probably indicated that it was intentional. Meanwhile Magnus was looking between the three as though he was a mere observer and not truly there, he almost wished he wasn't at the moment.

  
When it seemed that both Clary and Dot had finished their private affair, they both walked over to the group, hands grasped in each other's for silent support. Dot was the first to speak up, it may have been her protective nature for Clary that she assumed the lead. It was heartwarming to see how they relied on each other.

  
"Magnus, we can't keep pretending that what is happening isn't our problem anymore." The warlock placed her hand on Magnus's shoulder, watching as the realisation dwindled onto the man's face, dark eyes scanning the massacre before him. Was it his own arrogance or stupidity that could have caused so many warlock's lives tonight? If it were not for the aid of third parties, he could have surely sent all the warlock's here to their untimely end. Personally, he agreed with Dot that they should have reached out earlier on for aid but he couldn't ignore the risk that such a simple thing could cause, going to outsiders for help wasn't something easily done.

  
Dot was right. There world was getting darker the longer they did nothing about it. Well, dark seemed off to say. It wasn't darkness that encompassed their world, it was the shadows that crept into it, how people seemed evermore the mystery then they once were. Magnus did not need to be of the fae to sense the shift in the nature around them as well. It seemed that even the creatures of the wild were not shrouded from the corruption that was lingering in the Shadow World. It was troubling to linger on for too long.

  
When the tension had slowly died, left to its own devises as Magnus stood mutely, sobered by the reality of the situation that his thoughts now lingered on. Even a warlock's own sanctuary could be breached and taken, a once laughable idea had now bitten down on Magnus like a predator would on its victim's throat. Speaking of predators and prey...

  
Alec's shadow lingered, through his eyes told everything that the assassin would not. A predator turned prey. Ironic in a sense though Magnus did not laugh at it. Instead he focused on the matter at hand, to Dot and Clary standing in silent unison. Magnus couldn't help but roll his eyes and bite his tongue.

  
"We need to work together." Clary Fairchild, always the optimist in seemingly dire situations. "Help us."

  
Magnus relented. "I can summon the demon but you must make the demand." It wasn't as though it would be overly taxing for Magnus, his reservation about the whole ordeal would be on whether they would actually get anything useful from the demon. He had chosen this one due to the difficulty that would come from trying to get the memories once again, he thought himself smart at the time but now that was coming around to bite him. "Retrieving your memories will not be easy."

  
Resolve settled on Clary's face. "I will do what I have to."

  
Magnus sighed heavily, "Alright then." Magnus scanned the room. "But it's not safe here. The lair's safety has been compromised."

  
The room seemed to shimmer and move, figures that once stood solidly now wavered like water amongst Magnus's magic. "Hold tight everyone, we're about to move." A surge emitted from Magnus, the occupants of the room stiffened as the magic flowed around them. Instantly the room rippled away from them and as though it were a fresh coat of paint, a new one folded over. The shadowhunters had their hands itching at their sword-hilts, their instincts taking hold before they could think on it. Though the only two who seemed unstartled were Dot and Alec, who had taken to conversing amongst the distraction.

  
\-------------

  
Jocelyn hadn't found much to occupy her thoughts with besides the most obvious, idle hands could only rearrange the counter-tops and bookshelves so many times before it became a numbing passtime as well. The warlock had proven not so much more as company rather more so as something else in the background, blending in with it. His very few words were statements to questions and nothing that she could start small talk with. Although it could have been no more than a week of being here and already Jocelyn felt it had been an eternity.

  
"If you move that book one more time..." Jocelyn's hand stuttered mere inches from a copy of Treasure Island.

  
"So he does speak." Jocelyn muttered, stubbornly picking up the book anyway and moving it to the other side of the bookshelf, deciding she liked it more were it had originally been but she knew she would change her mind again shortly.

  
Edward's eyes sharpened towards her, at particular the movement of the book that had been moved a total of six times in the past thirty minutes. He glanced at Jocelyn then, who grudgingly held her arms now crossed against her chest. The shadowhunter seemed out of her element, stuck in a limbo that she had no control over. Edward felt some sympathy for that. But he struggled to find a way to settle her anxious energy that had been putting himself on edge since the moment she had gotten here. Edward was no where near as skilled of a conversationalist because he honestly had little interest in knowing people. So, how did one ease an agitated, possibly miserable, shadowhunter?

  
"I'm-" Edward started, squinting his eyes as if judging his next words intensely. "Sorry if your current situation isn't ideal but you have to understand there is little else we can do without there being huge risks."

  
"It's just difficult to be sitting around doing nothing while gods knows what is happening out there, while my daughter's life is in danger and the only way I can keep her safe is by being stuck here. Sitting on my ass and doing nothing useful." Jocelyn huffed out, her fist clenching and uncurling. "I may have given up on being a shadowhunter a long time ago but not fighting? It goes against my instincts."

  
She spoke with the conviction that only a parent could possess, staring solidly at the warlock across from her. The shadowhunter in her was screaming that this was all cowardly, that she was running and hiding when she should be out there fighting and protecting her daughter. Yet the mother in her reasoned the risks and consequences of it all. It was a battle she felt she couldn't win. Edward looked away first, getting up from his seat and walking over to one of the work desks. Jocelyn's eyes followed him curiously.

  
Without any words, Edward rummaged through the contents of the desk, his magic flickering every few minutes as he appeared to be searching through the seemingly never ending contents before he stopped. His hands held an old book, not nearly as tattered as Jocelyn would typically think one would be, but it was clear that this one has seen extensive use in however long it has been around.

  
After a few minutes with no sounds other than the scrapping of flipping pages, Edward turned back to Jocelyn. "The whole issue occurring in New York is just the start."

  
Jocelyn squinted her eyes at Edward. "I don't get where you're going with this."

  
"Since Valentine started his exploration into the Mortal Instruments and his experimentation with the Downworld we suspected that he was meddling with something bigger than just summoning demons for his own devices." the young looking warlock said earnestly.

  
"If you think I know something..." Jocelyn started defensively.

  
"We know you don't," Edward reassured. "We had agents following Valentine's movements since the early starts of the Circle, even some within it. Your involvement with whatever Valentine was doing ended shortly before you fell pregnant with your first child."

  
Jocelyn swayed a little at the mention of her first child, yet battered it away not a moment longer then it had been there. "What of your agents then? Surely if they were with Valentine at the time," Jocelyn asked.

  
"The few close enough to Valentine at the time we lost contact with," Edward said grimly. "The bodies were never recovered and after Valentine was presumed dead, they didn't return. They disappeared from our radar. And before you say it, our people don't betray our own, we have measures in place to assure it."

  
"So you're telling me this because..." Jocelyn trailed off.

  
"Because," Edward tapped the book he held in his hand. "Doing something useful sure beats 'sitting on your ass' and complaining to me about it every hour. I do have better things to do than babysit an ex-shadowhunter so how about you help me with it."

  
\---------

  
Jace had fought the urge to punch Magnus on multiple occasions now. It was clear to him that the warlock cared little for what was going on, it seemed that it was all a game to him with how reluctant he was to help the shadowhunters. But what was eating Jace was the glances he was giving every few minutes. Not to Izzy though, Jace had gotten used to that, especially since Izzy could handle herself in that department. No. It was the glances that Magnus gave to Alec and the little quirk of the lips Alec would give in turn and now, to top it off, Magnus was openly flirting with Alec like they had known each other for a long time. Like Magnus had earned the right to do so. Perhaps it was the fact that Alec was unbothered by it all as well. Perhaps it was also the fact that Alec couldn't act with that same comfort around his actual family.

  
"I believe a payment is due for services rendered," Magnus turned to Izzy now, the ruby necklace glittering under the light when it fell from his palm.

  
"Oh I couldn't," Isabelle stumbled. "Besides we didn't really help out."

  
"Oh you could," Magnus wrapped the necklace around her neck, it falling and settling gracefully on her like a glove. "And you should. The Lightwoods have been wearing this necklace for years. Besides this would just look silly on Alexander." Izzy couldn't help but grin at that.

  
Alec now wondered what he was still doing here. Mission was complete, he should go back and make a report before the details started to blur and became less detailed in his report. Yet he... found himself troubled. The situation seemed so surreal to him that he couldn't find himself acting on it. Izzy was smiling. He had forgotten what that looked like on her up close. He remembered when he used to be the one able to make her smile like that, to laugh like that. A tingle of an old sense of family loyalty struck Alec then, and he realised that that was what now made him walk over to Jace, who hadn't lifted his disgruntled look.

  
"I'm surprised you haven't run off," Jace said calmly as he stared at his brother Alec, though Alec could tell he was anything but calm just by the look of Jace. His arms wrapped tightly around himself, his knuckles glistening white from the grip Jace had on himself. So concerned with his own feelings, Jace did not notice the tug of a frown that Alec gave.

  
"I suppose I haven't given you much reason to think otherwise," Alec said with a resigned finality, and he closed his eyes. "Jace I- I'm sorry if I haven't been who you want me to be."

  
Jace turned to see Alec, his grip on himself loosening slightly as he relented a bit just by looking at his brother. "Alec..." Jace sighs. "I can't believe you think I'm angry at you. I guess that's one thing that hasn't change, you're always assuming that it's your fault."

  
"But you assume it is someone else's?" Alec said almost solemnly. "What happened, happened Jace. I know it isn't what you want to hear, but I gave up blaming other people for the things that happened to me a long time ago."

  
"I guess that's what they'd want you to believe."

  
Outwardly Alec didn't react to that, instead he stored it away for another time. Jace clearly blamed the Creed for what happened, a perspective Alec could understand yet he also suspected that Jace was in the dark about their parents involvement on the matter. He knew what his parents were like, could empathise with how they wouldn't want to tell their own children the truth. But that didn't mean that Alec in any way forgave them.

  
It seemed the time for reprieve had come to an end for, Clary deciding idle talking wasn't going to get anything done, despite how much some of them needed it.

  
"Okay, so how do we summon this memory demon?" Clary stood up abruptly from the couch.

  
Magnus had rather been enjoying himself, Clary reminding him of why exactly they were here did sour his mood and he knew he was showing it. "Are you certain? Summoning such a powerful demon could be lethal."

  
"I'll do anything if it means I can get my mother back."

  
"Okay." Magnus began. "Pretty Boy, get everyone ready."

  
"You know what to do." Jace said without hesitation, only affronted when Magnus's hand laid solidly on his chest and forced him to step back.

  
"I'm not talking to you." Magnus shook his head, his hand now pointing at the assassin. "I'm talking to you."

  
Jace's eyes widen ludicrously at that turning to look at Alec as though to confirm that he was, indeed, still behind him and the one who Magnus was talking about. Alec gives a slight shrug, opting to cool his features knowing how easily Jace could be set off if he truly believed that something was going on between the warlock and himself. Which there wasn't, Alec asserted to himself. The playful banter was all it was. But the way he felt himself dip at Magnus so openly flirting with him constricted that thought, no matter if he pretended it didn't.

  
Magnus smirked, he shouldn't really get so much joy from poking and prodding at people but it was the little things in his long life he supposed. If anything it was worth the look of disapproval that Dot sent his way, she was always so unwillingly stir the pot as the saying went ever since she adopted a semi mundane life. Maybe when things settled she would return to the person that Magnus remembered her being; wild and carefree.

  
"Come with me," Magnus called out, not waiting to see if anyone were to follow as he sauntered out of the room. When he heard the tell tale clicking of heels anxiously trying to keep up with himself, he started, "Everyone wants the Mortal Cup. Don't trust anyone, Clary, especially the Clave."

  
"Then why should I trust you?" Clary frowned. "Why should I trust Alec that my mother is okay?"

  
"You shouldn't." Magnus returned with no reluctance. "Only trust yourself."

  
\-----------

  
"The tension in here is positively suffocating, Dorothea I don't know how you are still breathing."

  
Dot looked exasperated at Magnus as he walked back in the room, leaving Clary to draw the pentagram in the other room which was elaborate in design and may take the young shadowhunter some time, even with her talents. Jace had left the room soon after to help Clary, too eager to remove himself from the room which he did nothing to hide from anyone else. 

  
"It's good to see you again, Alec." Izzy smiled warmly, a refreshing moment filled the two, a moment that allowed them to be just simply brother and sister.

  
"You too, Izzy." Alec said genuinely. "I want to apologise for leaving so suddenly before."

  
Izzy shook her head. "I get it. I think we're all too emotionally congested and don't know how the hell to deal with it in a healthy way."

  
"How's Max doing?" Alec decided to ask, seeing how Izzy's face lit up at the topic only troubled Alec more. Was it guilt? No, he had nothing to feel guilty for. Wasn't his fault. _It was Maryse and Robert's_. Alec blinked at the voice, startled by how sinister it sounded.

  
"Oh, Alec. He's grown up so much." Izzy was practically bouncing on the spot. "He's going through such a rebellious phase though, won't listen to any of his tutors. Mum and Dad aren't impressed that he's taken a liking to the mundie literature of comic books but they haven't stopped him so I guess they can't mind as much as they would like him to believe."

  
Izzy's mouth was open to continue telling Alec all about how well Max was doing in his classes but she stopped herself. "We tell him about you. He knows who you are, no matter what, you're still his big brother."

  
_If only it were true, Alexander. But we know it's not._

  
Alec closed his eyes in silent resignation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What I promise an update soon and it comes out months later... Sorry about that
> 
> I'm going to be honest with everyone, I haven't been well. My energy has only just started to return and as it was I had already written over half of this chapter before I fell ill. I'm hoping to get back into writing again, even if it is a little at a time and the chapters as a result get shorter. I'm also going to get to everyone who left comments on the previous chapter, so trust me your words haven't fallen on deaf ears, I did read them and absolutely loved them when you first wrote them but I wanted to be able to write back to you when I was in a good frame of mind. 
> 
> On the plus side while I was out of commission, it gave me ample time to think over this story and the direction I am going to take it. So if you start noticing plot in here you now know that means I actually have a clear endgame for it. I also get the frightening feeling that my mind is planning this whole story to expand into perhaps more then one story so there's that. 
> 
> Do let me know if you see anything out of place in this chapter, I'm deathly scared I've left errors and mistakes throughout despite my effort to proofread it myself. 
> 
> Also let me know if you like where I'm taking the characters. But what was up with Alec at the end...


	9. Heartache and Harsh Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the lovely people who commented last chapter:  
> jessmy, Cindy, autumntime, Shadowhunters_VDfan, SerialCynic, and poisonivy1998.
> 
> You people are amazing! And thank you to all you leave kudos and bookmark. It's great to see such support.

  
When the pentagram had been complete, Alec stepped forward, readying himself for the ritual when a startling grip on his hand drew his attention. They had all taken a position on the pentagram, excluding Dot who had elected herself to skip the whole thing, stating that she didn't need the drama of a demon right now, which Alec was envious of. Alec found himself between Jace and Magnus, Izzy and Clary also in the circle as all of them connected their hands together to form the pentagram. Alec looked down at Magnus's and his own hand, the power, whether it be from the spell or just Magnus himself, surged through Alec, jolting him slightly at its strength. It felt exhilarating and intoxicating at the same time, a rush as though he had just finished a fight and won.

  
When the connection was complete, a bloom of black smoke circled down from the ceiling as a rumble shook the room. Alec felt a strain start to push at him, as though the demon was trying to scrape out of its confines, just barely contained within the pentagram. An animalistic growl rumbled around the room that announced its presence.

  
"Valak is among us. Do not break the bond!" Magnus shouted above the havoc of the demon's entrance.

  
"Hold on tight!" Jace warned, his voice coming out a little weaker then he would have liked, to Clary as he felt her fingers slip slightly from his hand.

  
"I'm trying!"

  
"It is time, the demon demands payment!" Magnus's breathing was harsh and his face had considerably paled, sweat beading on his brow. There was an urgency to his tone that worried Alec a little.

  
"What does it want?" Alec hazel eyes met Magnus's dark ones, wide and determined.

"We must each relinquish a beloved memory. One which we hold close to our hearts."

  
Izzy's body contorted back as a stream of smoke surged from her chest, swirling amidst the black smoke in the center. There shimmered a projection, a memory that she held dear to her heart. The day Max was born. She had been so young at the time but it was one of the only days that her family had collectively smiled together, her, their parents and Alec. A happy family. A complete family.

  
When Clary's memory showed, it shimmered brightly amongst the clouded smoke. It was a birthday party, though not a recent one. Clary's face was more rounded, less defined and child-like against her now aged and defined features, now worn down by her experiences. It didn't take too long to figure that the child beside her was Simon, his style hadn't refined with age and was strikingly similar to what he wore now. It was so... Clary, Alec thought to himself, an unsurprising memory from her. It played for a while before fading out.

  
There was a strange pause after Clary like the demon was unsure of what to do with itself now. The smoke, the demon, seemed to lick at its confines before Alec felt his chest surge forward forcefully and his vision blotched black and glazed over as he felt a memory being scraped out of him and suddenly he drowned in it.

  
Alec's mission had been simple.

  
Investigate the scene and locate the target. He found that he was good at infiltrating and retrieve missions, almost like he was made for it, and now that he had a certain freedom outside the confines of the Clave law, he found that he was better at it. He could adapt, he could use his freedom. It had definitely helped him. While most of his missions thus far had been simple enough; scout, retrieve and evade. However, he found recently that he had been getting assigned more serious missions. Missions that were driven with more tension and difficulty then he could back under the watchful eye of his parents.

  
"The target is likely to meet up with his contact outside of his office at 5:00 p.m," Alec confirmed, looking down at the back alley of the aging office building below him. Though he was alone, his headset connected him back to HQ where Evie and Jacob were currently. "He's gotten more paranoid over the past week that could indicate that he knows someone is watching him."

  
"Or he's realised living the life of an underbelly goon isn't as glamorous as he thought." Jacob mused over the channel. "Still, unless he actually gets accepted and trusted enough with them, this lead will go nowhere and we'll be back to square one of knowing jack shit."

  
"I suspect he may be successful tonight." Alec mused, keeping his voice hushed as his eyes intently followed the man as he skittishly walked to his destination by the dumpster. "This is the first time Misso is attending the meeting. This probably means they have developed a level of trust with our lead."

  
"I hope you're right, Alec." Evie began. "If we don't get something soon, we're going to have to drop this entirely."

  
Alec disengaged from the communication link, still crouched on the edge of the roof with his eyes almost burning into the jittery man. His nails dug in painfully to his palm, a grounding focus for him. When three individuals rounded the street corner into the alleyway, Alec slowly released the grip with relief, his feet shifting on the ledge.

  
By the end of the night, Alec had taken down an entire ring of Downworlder slave traders. The battle had been bloody, one final man had approached Alec, his breathing loud and raspy as he stumbled his way to the silent assassin. There was no flurry of kicks or fancy twirls. Alec's hidden blade had flicked out from his wrist and he placed one strike into the man's throat. Then another. And another. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Alec couldn't count past the fifth stab of how many times his blade had punctured this man. The hallway was silent as Alec slumped against the wall, he rolled the dead man's body off of him, corpses lining the floor like a thick bed. By the end of it all, it did not matter if they were fighting or fleeing from him. The monsters had earnt every bit of wrath that Alec could conjure within him, and he had attacked without mercy. Yet his hands were now shaking and he had a tremble through his body that he couldn't shake.

  
When the final human fell to the assassin's blade, Alec found himself hunched on the floor, his breaths coming out heavy and short. Wet drops splattered on his clenched hands, and he realised it was his own tears that were streaming down his face. Sweat beading on his eyebrows, as his dark, feverish eyes looked down at his bloody hands than to the body of the last man he had killed that night. His neck open and mangled. Alec only recognised it as the man's neck because his head laid atop it. Had he done that? He started to rub furiously at his red hands until he wasn't certain whether the blood was that of his victims or his own. He wasn't sure which made him scrub even harder.  
There was a muffled sob that caused Alec to snap his bleary eyes to the door at the end of the hallway, stopping his hand mid-scratch. He leaned on the wall for support as he stumbled to his feet. He crept down towards the noise on uneasy limbs, his once trembling hands finding steadiness in drawing back his bowstring. However, when he entered the room with his bow trained on the noise that seemed so loud despite how soft it was. Alec's bow clattered to the ground, stifling the sobbing which hitched at the sudden sound. Fearful eyes flicked up to Alec's own, who raised his hands placidly. Yet when the small figure only squeezed tighter into the corner she had placed herself in, Alec realised how he looked. Blood splattered his face like little freckles, his hands stained red and hood shadowing his features. He would have looked like Death coming to greet her.

  
Alec knelt a safe distance from the child, his hands though shaken had calmed, moving slowly to flick off the hood. "It's okay," he promised, it was croaked out yet said with conviction that he hoped encouraged the young girl. "They're gone now."

  
Her eyes peeked above her arms where she had her head buried, shimmering in the low lighting with her tears. She said nothing yet her arms unfolded from where she hugged them tightly around her knees to her chest.

  
Alec hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether his next step would only drive her away yet his need to protect her gnawed at him. "Is it okay if I come over?"  
When she neither nodded or shook her head in response, Alec took the opportunity to cautiously step forward, waiting for the slightest indication that he wasn't welcome. Yet none was given and Alec made his way over to the huddled figure.

  
Not long had Alec wrapped his arm around the quivering figure until her shakes became nothing more than stuttering breaths. Alec found himself calming down with every minute they stayed that way, his own twitches easing with each circle he rubbed into the girl's arm. She was a Seelie that much was clear, yet Alec couldn't understand how a child of the Fae got into such a circumstance but he was too preoccupied to think much on it. Instead, he sat there with the girl, the hours passing by without Alec's recollection until Evie came for him. She offered no words but the silence was what Alec was more grateful for.

  
The memory swirled then, mixing with the inky blackness of the demon as it absorbed it. When the memory released Alec from his thrall, he stumbled back, his hands clammy and loose. Jace's own grip on him was no longer there and Magnus's almost painful grip wasn't enough to prevent Alec from falling back. The smoke seemed to surge at this, throwing back the Nephilim children and staggering Magnus, as though it had intended for this to happen. And as Alec's hand slipped from Jace's, the smoke rose like a tornado testing and straining Magnus's strength with new vigor and impatience.

  
When Alec found his bearings, using the wall as support for his uneasy legs, he realised what he had done. His eyes widen as he stared at the rupturing smoke, red eyes gleaming through the wisps that swirled as the demon gained its strength. Magnus was straining at the onslaught as he tried to contain it.

  
"I cannot contain the demon much longer!"

  
Alec, perhaps realising what he had done and consumed by the guilt of it all, had little care for his own wellbeing in his next few actions. The thought of throwing himself at the demon did flicker as a possibility, he did still have a seraph blade on him, one he hadn't used in a while. His hand ghosted it, fingers dancing at the hilt. But then Jace was faster to act. Whether Jace could anticipate what Alec was about to do or had the same idea, he lunged for the shadowed demon himself, losing his balance as the smoke snared him, wrapping and coiling around the Wayland boy's legs and pulling him in.

  
It was instinct, a rotting feeling in his gut that dug away at his insides. Alec surged up, his hand clasping at Jace's. They stared at each other for a moment before time seemed to speed up and the chaos was back to ringing in their ears. Izzy soon followed suit, her hand reaching out for Jace's. With the two Nephilim straining to keep Jace with them and out of the demon's grasp, Alec realised that that only left Clary to deal with the demon.

  
"Clary!" Alec grunted hoarsely behind him. "My Seraph blade. Use it!"

  
Clary stood back, her eyes widen with fear. It was one thing being told, it was another facing demons. She jumped as a hand squeezed her shoulder. Dot was beside her, she gave a tight-lipped smile and her eyes ushered with understanding. She could see how scared she was. Would she understand if Clary just ran? If Clary did nothing? But when Alec called out for her. His voice strained and weak, asking for her to help, something sparked in her. The command seemed to pull Clary from her stupor and spur her into action, her eyes narrowing with new confidence. She rushed forward, patting at Alec's sides before finding the blade and pulling it free.

  
"Clary, if you kill the demon," Magnus warned. "Your memories will be lost forever."

  
Clary stared at the blade in her hand, then back to the siblings desperately clambering to save one of their own. The moment of hesitation was only brief. And soon, Clary had the blade deep within the demon, its ashes cascading and blaring red like the dying embers of a fire. The Nephilim siblings fell to the floor without the grace of the angels aiding in their descent.

  
"Oh my god, Jace..." Clary whispered, crouching down beside his still body when he didn't move like the others. "Is he going to be alright?"

  
Magnus had recovered quite quickly from the whole ordeal, or so he let on. Besides the ruffle in his clothing, one wouldn't be able to tell that he had tried to contain a demon. "I don't know," Magnus replied nonchalantly. "Does he normally just lay like that without moving?"

  
Alec's hand found Jace's once more, there was an illogical fear that Jace may not wake up because of him. And it was overbearing on Alec. Drowning. Suffocating. Jace's back arched in that moment, his lungs retching for breath. And Alec felt as though he too, could breathe for the first time. Quickly as ever, Alec's hand retreated from Jace as he stood up, distancing himself from the other.

  
"I'm alright. I'm alright. I'm alright." Jace said softly, sounding as though it was more to himself then it was to the other people in the room as he clutched his stomach. The room descended into just the sounds of Jace's laboured breaths for a while as they all absorbed what had just happened.

  
\--------------

  
Alec thought that leaving would be for the best, yet he found himself staying. Magnus's loft had settled down from the demonic activity and the Shadowhunters had decided to take their own time to breathe, much to Magnus's dismay, though Dot was warmer to it, cherishing her time with Clary. Alec found himself lost in it, unsure what to do. He preferred the solitude that his profession provided rather than the bustling cities of the mundanes or the almost bright realm of Idris, but he had ventured there when the need struck. And now he found that he didn't want to leave despite how anxious he was.

  
The memory had been confronting. Unexpected. It was an important one to him, a private one. After which, he had promised to remain a silent protector to all those whose paths crossed his, hunting whoever, stopping crime syndicates, and carrying the injured back to safe havens to rest. Often thanks were thrown his way, sometimes shelter was given when he was away on long missions but he had never taken to revealing himself to Nephilim for his own reasons. That girl, North as he later found out, remained a semi-constant in his life. And he couldn't forget how fearful she was of him in the beginning. Of a Shadowhunter. It was that fear that remained with Alec as a sign of caution. The same doubtful, distrusting thoughts that halted the assassin when it came to his own family.

  
What if Shadowhunters no longer accepted him? What if his own family no longer thought of him as one of their own? Would he be rejected because of his unnaturalness? If his own parents could discard him, it would easier for strangers to do so. Closing his eyes, Alec found himself struggling for the thousandth time to conjure a reason that his parents still cared, but it was becoming harder the older he got and the more distant of a memory they became, sometimes he was finding himself apathetic to them. All that he got was the neatly written letter that his mother and father had penned and left him with, the words seeming cold even without a voice to give it any form feeling.

  
Alec flinched in his act of gliding his fingers along his weapon, his hand jerking along the seraph blade, the sharp edge cutting him. The echo of footsteps caught his attention and he put the blade away. If it weren't for the way the feet shuffled with hesitation, it was a gut feeling that told Alec it was Jace. Alec straightened from his spot on the arm of the lounge, watching as Jace stood awkwardly at a distant too far to be considered suitable for conversation.

  
"Can we talk?" Jace asked unsurely, his feet shifting in their place as though they had a mind of their own and bundled with the nervous energy that was oozing from the young Shadowhunter.

  
"Surprised I haven't run off yet?" Alec tested. The question could give one of two reactions knowing Jace, Alec's jaw clenched in anticipation at which one he would get.  
Jace's face cracked into a smirk, "Honestly? I wish I could disappear without a trace right about now." All the tension left Alec's body at that. "Neat trick too by the way, if only you had it when we were kids. Would've made causing trouble as kids a lot easier. Remember that kid Preston?"

  
Alec smiled at the memory. "Yeah, I remember."

  
"He was always trying to start shit with you. Then he got you into serious trouble, I swear his mother wanted you deruned for it. So, we snuck into his room and switched out his shampoo. You kept trying to talk me out of it but I could tell you weren't even trying that hard, didn't even pull out your 'The Law is hard but it is the Law' speech."

  
"For an entire week his hair was pink." Alec finished, chuckling slightly as he finished the story. "I remember that. I remember that I hadn't even told you why Preston hated me so much, you just stuck up for me without question."

  
"You broke his nose and bested him in a fight. The kid was a sore loser and couldn't take a proper hit." Jace said before sighing, the air around them suddenly got heavy. "I miss this. I miss us just talking like we're brothers."

  
Alec swallowed, feeling as though his throat would close up. "I- Jace, it's hard for me too."

  
"You don't act like it is. You act like you don't care, and there are times I look at you and I just... don't see my brother anymore. I didn't see my brother in that memory, the way you..." And just as suddenly, Alec didn't like the way this conversation had sour all too quickly. "The way you killed those people, some of them were mundanes. Some of them were Shadowhunters. We have a Law, we don't kill people without giving them a chance to defend themselves."

  
"A justice? There would be no justice with the Clave, Jace. I did what had to be done. We take them in and then what? The Clave slaps them on the wrist? Derunes them? They still walk no matter what because it wasn't Shadowhunter children being auctioned off. Because before I could even get there, they were already getting rid of the evidence. They killed them. Would the Clave have looked into it if there were no bodies?" Alec replied stoically, he still sat at the edges of the lounge though his once lax posture had shifted and turned ridged. "I learned that I couldn't be a fourteen-year-old boy believing what his parents told him forever and I grew up, just like you and Izzy did. I'm different because I had to do things that I didn't want to do and I learned that the world isn't black and white, we all change Jace. I just happen to not believe in the Clave or the Shadowhunter ways like I use too."

  
Jace scoffed, he looked at Alec like he wasn't looking at his brother anymore. "My brother wouldn't say that, he believed in the law. They've brainwashed you, kidnapped you in the middle of the night and yet you continue to act like they're better..."

  
"What did Maryse and Robert tell you?" Alec interrupted, standing to his feet and crossing the distance between him and Jace. His eyes narrowed, studying every move Jace made.

  
"What?" Jace looked confused for a moment, the confuse at Alec calling their parents by their first names and confusion at the sudden question.

  
"What did they tell you about my leaving?" Alec elaborated, though his question already seemed to be answered by the way Jace was talking.

  
"That the Creed took you. That there was nothing they could do about it."

  
Alec let out a mirthless laugh. "Nothing they could do? Trust me, they could've done a lot more than just stand there and hand me over. If it wasn't for them, I would have never been taken away." Jace stared for a minute in preplex silence. "Truth be told, I stopped caring because all I felt was contempt for my family, that was the last memory I had of them and I didn't want that to be a feeling I had for you, Izzy and Max. The Creed gave me a choice, to stay or leave, something my own parents wouldn't give me." When Alec stopped, he noticed the chatter in the room had dimmed and a wash of self-consciousness came over him. It was getting too personal for him, first his memory and now Jace. All he needed right now was fresh air and time to collect his own thoughts. "I'm leaving, I think I've said enough of this."

  
"Yeah, that's it Alec walk away." Jace spat pettily. "You really good at that, aren't you?"

  
Suddenly the room hushed like the air had been sucked out of the room, the eyes of everyone landed with unison on the two brothers as they stood in a stand off. Heads leaned in carefully and Izzy's face dropped and if it weren't for Magnus's gentle hand ushering her to stay, she would have stood between the two.

  
"Jace, I'd advise you to let this go." Alec said, his voice dropping dangerously low. The others in the room seemed to freeze but Jace didn't seem to, or at least he hadn't caught on to the shift. "You don't know anything."

  
"And what? Let you run away and play assassin in the night again?" Jace retorted. "No, someone needs to say something. You won't tell us anything Alec! How can we help you if you won't tell us. For Azaizel's sake, you're finally back, my brother, after all these years and you can't even act like you missed us. We're parabatia, closer then brothers and I can't even feel once you leave if you're alive or dead. And now you're blaming our parents for what that messed up bunch of killers did to you?!"

  
"You don't understand, do you?" Alec snapped back, it was the first time his voice had spiked, pitched with any form of raw emotions and it caused Jace to take a step back. "You don't understand anything outside of the bubble that your parents have put you in. I'm glad they gave me away. I'm glad that I didn't have to grow up under your shadow, being blind to everything around me. I'd much rather be who I am now then continue to lie to myself for the benefit of everyone else. Do you know how long that Slave trade operation was going on for? The amount of child corpses I had to bury because I wasn't fast enough that night? They had no names, no ways that I could get them back to their families. It was all happening here and the Clave did nothing because they weren't looking. Wouldn't look unless it was a Shadowhunter who had been taken. Don't ever think I need saving, Jace. I'm not lost. I know what I am and what I am not. What you think now matters little to me."

  
And Alec left without looking at anyone else, perhaps to help save himself from the looks that they may cast his way. They couldn't understand and at this point, he wonders if they would even care to try. He wouldn't chase them for their understanding, he didn't owe them that much. And right now, he wouldn't accept it if they tried to give it to him.  
"Jace!" Izzy's face was drawn yet expressionless. That made it all the more terrifying when she turned to Jace and walked over to him, he was expecting anger and maybe resentment. Not this blankness that he couldn't begin to decipher. He wanted it to be hate. Because he hated himself right now. He didn't know why he had snapped. Hadn't meant it to come out the way it did.

  
"How could you say those things. We were so close, he was staying and you all but pushed my brother out the door!" Izzy shoved at Jace with such force that he had to regain his footing, but he did nothing about it, instead of letting her push and shove at him until her arms grew tired and she couldn't look at him any longer. All the energy that she had left exhausted on him. "Don't talk to me. I don't want to be around you right now."

  
"Izzy I-" Jace tried to reach out but a dark hand halted him in his attempt, the jewels that adorned it glittering in the low lighting of the room.

  
"I would comment on how tactfully you handled that but I've grown tired of all this masculine Shadowhunter presence in my home." Magnus was abrupt, sharp and cold. His eyes were the worse though. They weren't friendly, didn't even hold any of his previous annoyance. At least then Jace could ignore what Magnus was. Because right now, the look in Magnus' eyes was dangerous and calculating. "Leave."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got through my funk with this chapter. It was damn right annoying. Parts of it I'm not all too happy with and I had to rewrite it so many times. But I feel like I finally got something out between Jace and Alec, so I'm happy with that. Most of the next chapter is done, just got to finish the second half. There is reasoning for why Jace behaved the way he did and why Alec did. In one version Alec was just so emotionless and Jace was a complete and utter asshat (worse then he is in this chapter) but it didn't feel right. In any other situation Alec would be able to distant himself and shut off basically, but you got to remember that this is his family and as much as he would like to not give a crap, he does. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! It does mean the world when I see what you guys have to say. Also, let me know if there are any mistakes, I'm editing this really late and I just want sleep. I'll probably look it over in the morning after posting once again and clear out any mistakes.


	10. A Unexpected Detour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to these lovely people who commented last chapter:  
> kbl55429, Magpie_Faete, A_123, Sunny1409, poisonivy1998, Shadowhunters_VDfan and Frankie!!
> 
> I need to continue to say that you people are amazing! Your support is everything right now. And also thank you to the people who leave kudos and bookmark the story, wonderful to see that I have an audience out there!

The demons emerged from the shadows, walking the streets with uniformed structure and purpose beneath Alec's perch on the railing of the apartment complex. The assassin counted eighteen demons in the band. As he studied the demons carefully, he noted the way they appeared uninterested in the world around them. His bows was poised and ready for when they would prey on an unexpected victim yet they seemed focused. With cause which was unusual for demons. Demons just released from Hell were intent to cause chaos, experience all that was taken from them, yet they didn't.

The hidden assassin gripped the railing tightly, crouching lower. He let the arrow drop out of the string, now harmlessly swinging beside the string. There were too many demons to shoot without the risk of them fleeing or retaliating against innocent people. Also, Alec was interested in who controlled the demons, what purpose they served. There was no way that such mindless demons could organise themselves, especially lower leveled ones. Clearly, they had a master, how long they would listen to whomever it was another thing entirely. Demons weren't known for their loyalty after all.

Moving along the buildings, Alec followed the demons as they moved on the ground, every so often they glanced with quick jerks of their heads to darkened alleyways like they were searching them. Based on their speed and pace, time was something on the demons minds. Alec idly wondered if the New York Institute had detected such a presence of demonic attack as strong as this one. They would have had to notice a spark surely. He pushed these thoughts from his mind, intent on keeping his targets in sight. Despite how emotionally fueled this venture may be, Alec had to keep his mind focused. He knew that he may make a mistake easily right now if his mind wandered to the events of tonight, to his family. All that mattered now was finding out what such a large group of demons was doing in New York. Alec had to find out.

The assassin leaped silently from railing to railing with grace, at times using the rooftop ledges to keep up with the demons where railings were absence, before pausing. His senses picking up on another presence other than demonic. The vague pull prodded at the back of his mind like a pestering twitch that wouldn't relent and nagged for his attention. The aura of the new presence was one all too easy to spot against the sickly blackness of the demons that blinded the street and one Alec had quickly associated with Nephilim. There was a Shadowhunter nearby.

The now obvious figure moved quickly, but cautiously, after the demons, staying just out of their sight but close enough to follow with ease. The assassin slowed his pace, gazing down at the other with intrigue. The Shadowhunter was trained well enough to hide from those she pursued, keeping a distance as she followed those she hunted.

The Shadowhunter was hunting the demons, Alec concluded. Remaining at a distance until reinforcement arrived to aid her in a fight, or too seeing where these demons' were going. Alec, therefore, didn't need to intervene if he didn't have to. But his hands were itching with the feeling of an oncoming fight and he wouldn't stand by if the stupid Shadowhunter was going to get herself killed.

With this in mind, Alec continued on his path, following the demons and Shadowhunter trailing behind them, an unseen watcher and guardian to the Shadowhunter.

.........

The demons had gathered in a particular downtrodden neighborhood, settling themselves in a run-down house at the end of the street but few had trickled out to the road. Their disguise allowing them to travel without much fuss or interruption, never stopping until they had reached their destination. Much distance had been made from where Alec had first spotted them and the journey had taken the better part of the night, how long they had been traveling before that he had no idea. Though Alec made no effort to rest his limbs, he felt the ache of fatigue increasingly linger in his muscles. For the past week he hadn't managed to get a restful nights sleep and the past few nights he'd only managed three hours of sleep at the most, the heaviness that settled in him was proof of that. It was a later concern, he thought willfully, a problem to deal with at another time. Time had drawn on and Alec had grown concerned when no reinforcement had come to aid the Shadowhunter tracking the demons as the night trickled away.

At some point, Alec believed his only option would be to interfere if the Shadowhunter foolishly believed she could handle eighteen demons by herself. If help were not coming for her and the demons made to move locations once more, Alec believed the Shadowhunter may launch into attack without warning. It was clear the other would not leave the demon horde alone and unmonitored, she was a dutiful Shadowhunter after all. Alec could not let the Shadowhunter die so pointlessly, no matter if the other believed it to be a noble sacrifice in the grand scheme of it all.

The demons had dispersed along the street road by now, without clear direction aiding in their motives. It was as though they had lost purpose once their destination had been reached and waited in the street for another command. Loitering with no intention, brooding about their boredom yet doing nothing to fix it. Alec sucked in his breath as the Shadowhunter approached the horde with trepid steps, still concealed by the shadows illuminated by the moonlight yet getting dangerously too close to remain hidden for much longer.

And it seemed that Alec's own thoughts had brought forth the next events. One of the demon's head jerked in the Shadowhunter's direction, its body rigidly stilling and head now titled as though it were listening out. The Shadowhunter seemed to notice this too as her hand gripped her blade with a paling grip and the situation shifted from a masterful hunt to a life-threatening battle within seconds.

"Looks like we have an unwanted visitor." a demon snarled grotesquely, glaring at the bright source of the seraph blade that was held confidently at the Shadowhunter's side.

Another demon nodded firmly, sneering to reveal its blackened fangs, oil slicken and pointed like canines. "Stupid one too it seems."

The now self-appointed leader of the horde smirked wickedly, watching as the other demons circled their prey like a pack of dogs around an injured rabbit, taking a step forward and watching the way it made the Shadowhunter jumped into a fighting stance.

A demon snorted. "Nephilim are always too cocky for their own good." Its animalistic eyes glinted in the falling moonlight ferally, the amber of them glowing unnaturally.

The demon's voice hitched in excitement and mirth, and Alec leaned dangerously over the ledge he sat on as though he were about to pounce between the demons and Shadowhunter. Vile, cruel, and sadistic. Demons were by far the easiest things to kill without having any moral dilemmas that gripped at him. Another demon stepped up behind the first, it's face contorted with hate.

"Too easy just to kill 'er." the demon emphasised with vigor. "Think of how many 'e's killed of us. Think we could have some fun ifs we want."

The leader's face glazed over with indescribable pleasure at the thought like she had found some invaluable treasure. The horde got gitty at that, all rallied and cheered as they realised what their fellow demon was suggesting.

"Cut off her runes!"

"Burn 'er inch by inch!"

"Cut 'er till she bleeds out!"

Shouts goading for more violence and torture rang through the air like a thick fog that choked both Alec and the Shadowhunter. Alec could see the Shadowhunter's bravado slipping as her blade slightly trembled with fear. Alec's own hadn't moved during the whole spectacle.

"How about we show this little Nephilim a little bit of hell on Earth?" the demon leader snickered, and the demons around her yelled at the lure of bloodlust.

The demon took another step towards the Shadowhunter, unfurling her claws from her meat suit. The Shadowhunter's heart pounded within her chest as she watched the circle of demons around her draw in tighter and tighter. There was no time to plan. Back-up was not coming for her in time and she was about to be tortured and butchered by a bunch of twisted demons. The leader took casual steps forward, her claws dripping with black inky oil that formed puddles on the road beneath her.

Before she could take another step towards the Shadowhunter, an arrow appeared in the demon's heart. She looked shocked for a moment before her skin flaked and burnt away, soon becoming ash in the wind and there was nothing left of her. The seventeen demons and the Shadowhunter stared in mutual astonishment at the sight. In the moment that the Shadowhunter blinked, someone else was there, a seraph blade glowing brightly in their hands and then plunging into the demons that had gained the most ground around her.

\-------

The Shadowhunter had tensed, gripping her seraph blade tightly as she prepared to enter into this suicide match. She had been so foolish by following this horde but now she and this unknown individual were facing at least fifteen more demons minus the ones that the other had killed single-handedly. What was this person thinking!? To her own surprise, the demons had lost some of their confidence during the fight. Their swings lacked brute force and their dodges were haphazardly late. The demons' moves were becoming jagged and uncoordinated until one of them had screamed. The scream was of pure terror, a terror that was only heightened by the way the demon had stumbled back in fright when it came face to face with the concealed individual. The demon was afraid?

"Sicarius!" the demon shrieked hoarsely.

The Shadowhunter didn't know what the demon had said at the time, though she knew Latin when she heard it but she had never been particularly good at it. However, the hooded figure seemed to respond to it. The name was old, not commonly used by those on Earth, though a few in the Downworld would recognise its connotation in context. The Sicarius was an old name for assassins, silent killers in the Downworld, was a curse on a demon's tongue. Mysterious creatures that stalked the streets like ghosts. Able to turn invisible and become shadows without moving an inch. A Sicarius had become regarded as a Spirit of Death and Vengeance to demons, their purpose was to slay the servants of Hell. None had walked away alive from a Sicarius but a demon was keen enough to spot one when it was too late by the glint of their hidden blades before death.

The figure's movements were graceful and full of purpose, no hit misplaced or miscalculated. The demons were frozen in place like they had been spelled by the hidden figure to neither move or fight. She couldn't tell where the stranger had struck the demon nor when, but as he ghosted through them, all the demons turned to ash that swirled around him as he turned for his next target. Any of the demons that had tried to flee were shot down by arrows and those who chanced to rush and fight the figure were cut down without a thought.

It was like watching the water move through a pebbled stream, he didn't stop, he didn't block any offending attacks, only killing. Each strike was deadly. She watched with shock, awe and she'd admit some fear as the figured etched through the horde of demons as easily as a painter made a stroke on a canvas. The only sounds made were from the demons, their battle cries and grunts up against the silence of the figure. As if they truly were fighting a ghost. She almost believed it could be a ghost with the way none of the demons' strikes seemed to affect the figure, passing through him like he wasn't there at all. Silence descended when the final demon cried out in anguish as a blade cut through its neck severing it from the shoulders.

The figure stood in the center of the road now turn battlefield, unmoving except for the way his head tilted like he was listening out for more enemies. Finding none, he made a step towards her. When she took a step back, he raised his hands complacently. She quickly relaxed and tried to correct herself as the figure decided against taking another step.

The hooded figure shifted slightly, poised to leave, but his stance still hovered in his place like he was conflicted. Before her rescuer could make the choice to stay or flee, the Shadowhunter took a step forward from the place she had remained rooted. Her hands had taken on his peaceful gesture and raised, away from her seraph blade that was now sheathed in its home, and she kept her posture relaxed and unthreatening.

"It's alright." the Shadowhunter said calmly. "I'm friendly."

The hooded Nephilim, because that agility and speed could only come from a trained Nephilim, did not lower his guard, but also didn't move to flee. She took this as permission to approach him. The Shadowhunter looked at her silent companion, unable to see any of his features nor any runes that would adorn his skin, but she knew that the other was a Shadowhunter.

"Thank you for the help," she said to the hooded Nephilim. "There was no way I'd gotten out of that one. So, thanks."

The hooded Nephilim nodded, still not speaking aloud. She smiled, hoping that it was encouraging though she knew her social mannerism can often be mistaken for something else.

Her mind was swirling with questions despite her cooled expression. Who was this Shadowhunter? Where did he learn to fight like that? How could he kill all those demons without faltering? Maryse Lightwood had reported that demonic activity had been a steady decline and vampire nests had been found burnt to ashes. Could this mysterious figure be responsible? Why would he be doing this? Was he from Alicante? Why hasn't he ever revealed himself? Who is he?

Alec stood with panic freezing his limbs, halting his will to move. He realised that the Shadowhunter was dressed in attire not made for hunting, her hair sleek and proper. The idea to trail these demons had been spur of the moment, not her intention when first going out. She was a diplomat of some kind then. His self-preservation was screaming at him to run before she prodded at him further. But his calm, collected part of him insisted that he stay, that there had to be a reason for such a large mass of demons moving through the city together and that he had nothing to fear from this Shadowhunter. Not that Alec could move for either of those reasons, his limbs were refusing to obey him at the moment. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest, so loud he feared that the Shadowhunter could hear its frantic rhythm from a distance.

Honestly, he had run away from much less and he could not comprehend why he wasn't doing so now. Perhaps his curiosity was finally getting too strong for his own good and his determination to forget about the nights' events at Magnus's loft were still clouding his judgment, determination that was greater than his fear about being discovered by the Clave. And this Shadowhunter could have strong ties to the Clave! If Alec had less control over himself, he would find that he would be hyperventilating. Saving this Shadowhunter from the torture at the hands of demons was instinct, the right thing to do and Alec would choose to do it again if given a second chance. But Alec had not stopped to think about what to do after the fight with just her. Despite it all, Alec could not forgive himself if he let his fear keep him hidden rather than saving her life. He had enough of his calm state to ensure that she hadn't been injured in the fight, eyes gently roaming over her for any telltale signs of injuries instinctively.

She saw me. His family was one thing... They wouldn't risk outing him to the Clave. At least he still hoped that was the case, it was too murky between them at the moment to be sure. But this woman held no such connection to him, no such loyalty. He should run. No, stupid idea. Running like a scared little child wasn't him. What's the worse thing she could do?

She'll reject you. If your own family thinks you're a freak, what will she say about you? He hoped he was overthinking it. He couldn't bear it if the first Shadowhunter stranger that he had met since he left believed him to be monstrous.

When Alec realised that an awkward silence had settled when he had been internally panicking. He opened his mouth, then realised he hadn't thought of what he was going to say. He closed it again. Opened it once more and decided that'd he'd just force the first thing he could think of out.

"What's your name?"

The female Shadowhunter glance at him as though he had a second head popping out, her surprise that he could speak he guessed. "I'm Lydia Branwell. The envoy from the Clave. You haven't heard about the Branwells before?"

"No," Alec said uncomfortably. He had. They were in textbooks and such that he remembered from Hodge's teachings, but he hadn't heard of Lydia before, though he guessed that was due to her not being too much older than himself.

"Do I get yours?" She asked in turn.

His eyes widen like he hadn't expected that he'd have to introduce himself to her. "My name is... Alec."

He didn't say where he was from. Truth was that was everywhere and nowhere at the moment. Lydia didn't seem too bothered by this though and Alec counted his blessing for her glossing over it.

"If you don't mind, I could use an escort to the New York Institute. It seems like my idea of detouring through New York was a bad decision in hindsight." Her eyes glanced over the street.

An innocent request, though Lydia's keen eyes held different intentions. She was seeing whether he'd be welcome at the Institute if he was from there. She smiled at him slightly.

"If it's no bother, of course," Lydia added when he hesitated a second too long.

"Not at all," Alec said too quickly for it to be true. "I know the way from here."

He knew he still looked too spooked, his tension and caution were in his every muscle, pulling and twitching him. Still, he remained with Lydia, his protectiveness was currently controlling him despite his desperation to hide from unfamiliar Shadowhunters.

Lydia looked at the Nephilim and realised that he couldn't be older than herself. She also realised that the young Nephilim's timidness wasn't purely because of her, he seemed wary of other Shadowhunters in general if his reaction to going to the New York Institute was any indication. She wondered if he had been banished or had particular nasty dealings with the Institute. Then it dawned on her, that perhaps his hesitation may be due to other reason. She couldn't see his neck, but Circle activity was rising.   
A flicker of the thought must have shown on her face because the hooded figure seemed to tense further if it were possible. She nodded at him, accepting his offer of help but she remained cautious.

"You seem hesitant to go to the Institute, I mean I don't blame you. Robert and Maryse from what I hear, are very difficult to be around." Lydia prodded at him.

"I'm not part of the Circle," Alec said plainly. When Alec looked to Lydia now, she gave him a sincere and grateful smile, like she believed his word entirely.

Her face was now absent of any wariness or distrust, instead, she was open and grateful. This open expression of acceptance was one Alec hadn't anticipated getting from his first encountered. But it was all he needed to relax.

"You don't seem to think that I'm... unusual," Alec said carefully, every word feeling like a risk spoken aloud.

She looked surprised. "Why would I? I admit I have questions, any good envoy would but as long as we're not the ones you're fighting, you're alright in my books."

His fighting technique was unique, not one taught to Shadowhunters, he was more delicate if such a word could be used for a violent act and his unwillingness to show himself was off-putting for someone like herself. Lydia didn't voice these thoughts though, knowing such words could frighten the already uncertain Nephilim away from her.

"We should probably get moving," he said stiffly.

Lydia nodded, checking herself over, before following Alec's footsteps. He was silent for most of their journey, the demons had diverted Lydia from her destination by quite a distance it seemed when the morning sun peaked at the horizon.

"You know, I've been thinking this whole time about what that demon called you." Lydia startled the silence between them. "Such an odd thing to say isn't it? My Latin is a little rusty but Sicarius just stuck out to me. Then I figured it out. You're an Assassin."

Alec said nothing, his body gave nothing away even if he felt like he faltered in his confident strides. They were drawing nearer to the Institute and if he could get there without speaking another word, he'd be relieved. Alec was the first of the two to sense others ahead as they got closer to the Institute. His hand landing to Lydia's chest as they reached the door of the Institute. His sense of others around them growing stronger, Lydia paused looking at Alec.

"Alec, sweety," A voice sung from the shadows. "Glad to see you got here despite missing our messages." Jacob and Evie emerged from the shadows. "And ahh I see you found the Nephilim Envoy, two birds one stone and what not."

Alec blinked in confusion at their presence before he looked back at Lydia and narrowed his eyes, she seemed cool and collected walking out from behind Alec and extending her hand.

"Lydia Branwell," she told the two assassins. "Envoy from the Clave."

"Jacob and this is my sister, Evie, the Creed representatives." Jacob took her hand, leaning down to place a soft kiss upon it. "Charmed." Lydia gave a small smile in return.

"We're already late for this meeting with all this dallying." Evie interrupted pointedly. "Shall we go inside?"

Jacob smiled tightly at his sister before stepping aside for Lydia, opening the door for her to enter first. Evie, despite her words, hung back with Alec.

"Evie, what's going on?"

"You'd know if you had answered your phone," Evie said sharply but she deflated quickly. "The Clave has reached out to us, apparently something has caused them to believe that Valentine is planning to attack sooner rather than later. This is significant Alec, we haven't had a meeting like this since Valentine's 'death'."

When it dawned on Alec what was happening a wave of nausea crashed into him. It was clear that Alec did not want to go inside, be around other Shadowhunters. Be around his family nonetheless. Although Evie could not relate fully to the young assassin's situation, she instinctively knew his reservations were with good cause and ultimately she couldn't force him to come with them to the meeting. It was because of this that Evie did not tell Alec to follow her inside, the choice was up to him.

\---------

They hadn't spoken. That was the worst of it in the end. The entire time that Izzy, Jace, and Clary made their way back to the Institute, Izzy hadn't spoken. Didn't look at Jace or acknowledge his presence. When they entered the Institute, Izzy didn't stop to collect herself. She continued down the hallway to her room. And when Jace went to follow her, Clary was by his side stopping him with a light touch on his shoulder.

"Jace..." Clary sighed with a tiredness not entirely born from lack of sleep. "Just give her time to think. It was... a lot to deal with in one night."

"Yeah, I-" Jace cleared his throat, he seemed conflicted about the idea of just leaving his sister. "I suppose it was. We should probably get some sleep too. Come on."

Jace had followed suit with his own advice for the first time in a while, stripping off his Shadowhunter gear and opting for a fresher and comfier sleepwear, yet he was still restless. He was careful not to let his thoughts wander too far. He couldn't tell whether he'd see Alec again now, or if he'd left for good. The Wayland boy was currently battling with himself, self-loathing and fear warring with nerves and fear. What Alec had said was echoing in his head. At the time, Jace had been too angry, too riled up to even listen to his brother but now? Now, all he could think about was what Alec had said. Maryse and Robert had become like a mother and father to him when he had none, and after Alec had left... Well, they had only seen him more as their own son and Jace had let them. He felt sorry for them as they had surely felt about him in the beginning. They were devasted for the next few years no matter if they put a strong and unaffected front on. They had acted as though Alec had died and Jace was sympathetic to that, eager to fix it. It was because of that that he couldn't understand why Alec believed that they had given him away so easily. But Alec had no reason to lie, no reason to accuse them so bitterly. So, where did that leave Jace? He loved his parents. But he also loved his brother, no matter if he was different now.

That was now the reason why he found himself at Clary's door. The thought of going to Izzy was strong and he desperately wanted to talk and be with her, but ultimately he knew he'd be unwelcome this soon. His sister was stubborn and strong-headed at the best of times, at the worst she was an unmoving force. He deliberated for some time as he hovered in the doorway of Clary's room, whether he should go back to bed or not before knocking on her doorframe.

Clary turned from her notepad filled with sketches of runes and symbols, her eagerness to catch up on a decade of learning caused many late nights of just staring at this notepad. "Oh hey."

"Hey there," Jace replied. "Can I come in?"

She seemed tired, maybe this was a bad idea Jace thought now and he felt his feet turning to leave but she invited him in any way and Jace found that he couldn't deny anyone else's company right about now.

"You know, what you did back there..." Jace started because it was the only thing he could think of wanting to talk about without the conversation becoming tilted with awkwardness. "That was pretty good for someone who hasn't been a Shadowhunter most of their life. Launching into a demonic tornado is not how normal people would have reacted to that situation." The joke was half sincere and lacked the humorous tone behind it, but it was all Jace could muster at that point. "It was impressive."

"I didn't know what I was doing," Clary admitted before looking down as though the next part ashamed her. "To tell you the truth, I don't know what I would've done if I didn't have Dot or... I just don't know what I would've done if people weren't there to tell me I could do it."

"You would've done what was right," Jace said straight away, reassuring her ability. "I believe you would."

"But now, I don't have my memories." The was annoyance and frustration in her voice, so deep and unshakable that Jace wasn't sure whether she was still blaming herself or everyone else for the fallout. "I can't help my mother if I don't remember where to start."

"Hey!" Jace reached out for her, seeing the path that she was spiraling down. Self-doubt and hate aren't what she deserved. Recognising it too easily himself. "We will help her, Clary. I promise."

Clary closed her eyes, not fully believing what Jace was trying to tell her. Jace may believe it, but at the same time, it wasn't his mother who was forced into hiding by her maniac father. And right now it felt like the last string that connected her to her mother had been cut free and now she was so lost and confused. The lead she had was now gone and she had no direction of where to go. Her mother gone and Luke wasn't trustworthy. If only she had stayed with Dot.

"You should get some sleep." Jace encouraged, deciding that he had said all he could for tonight, hoping that Clary would see reason if she slept on it. He left her alone, though sleep wouldn't come easy for either of them.

Clary was still restless, her mind thick and clouded with worry. With all of the chaos that had stampeded into her life, she found little things that used to worry her had slipped out of focus. Mundane things. When she reflected on it, it was as though she was looking back on someone else's story of a young girl's coming of age story. Perhaps it was still her story but muddled with fantasy. She only wished she could walk back into her home and pretend that this wasn't real. Call Simon and tell him about this weird dream about her being part angel and him comparing it to a graphic novel which she should totally illustrate. She hadn't even checked on Simon yet she realised, something she used to do every day. Her finger hovered over his Simon on her phone before dialing. She needed to make sure he was okay, after the way they had left things she felt guilty. She hoped that he was doing okay.

"Come on, Simon." Clary urged to an empty room. "Pick up."

Three times she had called. Three messages had been left, each other emphasised her worry which grew with each time she heard his voicemail. In the end, all she could do was hope that Simon was forgetful enough to not have charged his phone or just be too busy. But that thought didn't do anything to ease her nerves when she felt herself begin to pace. Simon was her friend. He wouldn't purposefully be ignoring her calls. Would he? It settled in her that she hadn't been a friend to him lately. Not a great one. Miserably she thought that she had given him every right to not be answering her calls. What she wouldn't do to have her mother here right now. Just her comfort, her hand on her back letting her know that she wasn't alone. The presence of a mother that would allow her to fall in a heap and cry out puddles on the floor until she felt like herself again. If old Clary could see new Clary now, she wasn't sure that she would recognise her. Her hand crept up to the pendant that had been her mother's parting gift, it was a semblance of her mother that she could reach out for. She gasped when a familiar sensation tugged her away from the room.

The world around her was hazed but was the same place as she had been before the first time yet more cluttered. She looked around in fascination, the air seemed thicker, more like water that she had to swim through and when she moved it was like she was walking through a pool of water, each step taking more effort against the resistance of the water.

"Clary?" A muffled voice echoed the room, the thick air making it seem like vibrated in waves. Clary spun to its source.

Clary felt her breath hitch at the sight before her, her body washing with euphoria "Mum?"

"Oh my god," Her mother ran over to her, though when she got close to her daughter she hesistated as she extended her arm out to Clary. When the hand easily fell through Clary's right shoulder, her own heart sank at the meaning of it. She could talk, see her mother but she couldn't touch her. Couldn't hug her. It almost nulled the reunion. Almost.

Jocelyn smiled sadly when she saw the look on Clary's face but knew that there was nothing she could do about it. "It's so good to see you, Clary."

"Mum, I can't believe I found you," Clary spluttered, her hands clenched restlessly at her side and it was taking all her control not to try and reach out to touch her mother. "I've been trying to find a way to get you back. After tonight... I thought I'd failed."

"Clary-" Jocelyn said like she was about to trail into a long-winded speech, but she stopped herself like someone else had interrupted her. "I wish I had more time before, to tell you everything. I didn't want this," Jocelyn gestured to Clary's runes, her dismay at their presence was evident. "for you."

"I'm okay, Mum. Really," Clary smiled to reassure her mother. "I'm just so happy to be able to hear your voice. That you're okay. So much has happened, I don't even know where to start, I want to tell you so much."

Jocelyn studied Clary as she spoke. She saw the spark of excitement and great, overlaying wonder in her expression. The way her eyes widen and shimmered with genuine amazement. It frightened Jocelyn because she knew why it was there. Clary was wrapped in the lifestyle of a Shadowhunter, no matter if she knew it yet or not. There was a thrill from it, one Jocelyn had spent years after leaving it trying to ignore. It seemed that Clary was taking after her parents, Jocelyn didn't want Clary to make the same mistakes as them as well. It was a spiral that was dangerous to fall down if you didn't know how to climb back out of it.

"We'll have all the time in the world, Clary, but things are complicated right now." Jocelyn eased Clary before she could start telling her.

"What does that mean?" Clary looked worried for a second, her anxiety born from the prospect of losing her mother again so quickly after speaking with her.

"This connection won't last, Ed, the warlock here has protection wards that'll push you out. It doesn't seem fair but it's for the best right now, you don't know who could be tapping into this connection." Jocelyn instructed, the tone of an authoritative mother helping her to say these words despite her wish to stay with Clary. "Keep those you trust close, Clary. We'll talk again soon."

The last came out murky like the voice was diluted, the world around the corners of Clary's vision blurred out slowly. And then just like that, Clary felt the connection snap as though it were a taut rope that had snapped from the strain of being pulled for too long and she was sucked away back to her room at the Institute. Clary found herself motionless for seconds? Minutes? It hadn't been long enough, she still had things she wanted to tell her mother. Questions to ask her, and answers that she needed in order to move forward. Her hand shook at the pendant, skitting its surface. The electrifying feeling of magic tickled at her fingertips yet it was weak. She wanted to try again, reach out to her mother but the pendant flickered at the demand, stuttering before falling dark once more. There was no thread for it to grasp for and pull on as she called for it to reach out again.

But for now, Clary thought, at least she knew her mother was safe and alive. That she was still connected to her in some way, however dim that connection was, it was still there. Clary sagged to the floor, her legs wouldn't comply with her commands to walk back to the bed, so instead to twisted the pendant with her fingers numbly and sit in silence, allowing for a moment of peace to reign in her chaotic life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself 'shorten the chapter down, don't do too much at once otherwise you'll burn yourself out'. Gets to 4000 words, that's okay. Finishes editing chapter and it ends up at 6000. 'Well crap'. So let me know if you notice any mistakes lingering here.
> 
> Anyway... big change was introducing a certain someone a little early. What'd you think about it? Lydia is one of my favourite characters and I love her. I will protect her with my life. I hope I have done her justice. 
> 
> I also realised that this chapter had a lot of story progression. First the introduction of Lydia and then, Evie and Jacob rocking up for a meeting at the NY Institute and also the fact that means that Alec may be meeting his parents next chapter, and then Clary seeing her mother again (even if it was short and sweet). 
> 
> Maybe that also means that Jace is actually going to fact check a few things and sort the shit out with Maryse and Robert. Believe me when I say that I was pissed off at Jace last chapter as well.
> 
> There wasn't too much Izzy in this chapter which is always sad, and no Magnus which is a travesty. But be assured, Malec moments are upcoming, maybe they'll finally kick-start their relationship instead of tip toeing around each other now that Dot is there to call them out on that shit.
> 
> But anyway, I have rambled too long and would instead love to hear from you wonderful people! It was amazing to see so many people still with this story, I love all you guys!


	11. Parents and Children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I swear don't kill...
> 
> I was gone for a really long time, I apologise. I'll give you a rundown of everything that has been happening so maybe you won't run at me with pitchforks or cast curses at me. In November I was overseas travelling, I started a volunteer program in Romania and was working at a local dog shelter. It was truly amazing. Plus is was my first time travelling anywhere and I was doing it by myself which of course had me worrying senseless.
> 
> Since then I've been preparing to move up to a city to start university, so I'll be busy packing and such but hopefully find more time to write now that my life home has resumed back to normal. Another big thing that was taking up my time was... Assassins Creed Odyssey BUT to be fair I got to play as a bisexual warrior queen so I felt justified. And then of course Spyro had to come out and consume more of my life...
> 
> With that section over with, story related stuff starts here. Enjoy!

Alec closed his eyes, not daring to move from his position besides Evie and Jacob. Lydia may not have made him spill whatever dark little secrets he had and asked about his past, but others would. Others had known him before, others would recognise him where she had not. His parents would. Questions would be asked, and knowing his parents the answers would be demanded once they saw him, no matter if he didn't want to give them. Evie and Jacob and perhaps even Lydia's support would not be enough to keep them from being curious, suspicious at the worst. And curiosity made people dig and dig into a person's past, exposing them until any sense of privacy were ripped away from them.

The assassin studied the room around them, his hood still concealing his face yet he knew he couldn't hold onto that luxury for long. The meeting, as Evie had been recounting in a hushed tone, was haphazardly called last minute. The Clave representative Lydia Branwell, Head of the New York Institute currently Maryse and Robert Lightwood, Creed representatives Evie and Jacob- now including him, and the High Warlock of Brooklyn Magnus Bane. Those were the list of people who had been summoned. Whether Magnus was to attend was still up in the air, his invitation, as Alec expected, was only made out of courtesy by the Clave. His moth- Maryse and Robert were the most troubling people in attendance. If Alec were to foresee any who would pose a problem, it would be them. They were suspicious and close minded people. The type to quickly judge and hate all things they didn't understand or believed impure.

His parents' past was revealed clinically to him when he had asked. Like a recount of history told by a teacher. Evie and Jacob leaving no details out to spare a young child but neither injecting any of their personal beliefs in the account. Often Alec found himself silently asking what could have happened to cause them to hate the Downworld so deeply? But it didn't matter what answer he would have gotten. There was no changing it, Alec thought sadly. And now perhaps their personal hatred of the Downworld would extend to him, that they would see him just like they saw them. It was the reason he couldn't show himself back then. And he doubted they would be any more accepting now.

It didn't feel like the time. All the assassin wanted to do was to vanish into the streets of New York. Perhaps find Lydia and talk to her later. But he had already walked through the doors of the Institute. Had already taken a position in this meeting. Whether he was ready or not, he had made his choice. And maybe time could change people.

\--------

The trip to the New York Institute had transpired much more smoothly than Lydia had predicted, the arrival had been the intriguing part. The introduction of the two Creed representatives was also not what she had been expecting, the assassins had been different in her previous perception. Instead, she was greeted with charms and smiles. But perhaps that was what made them so good at their job. Now that they had all gathered inside, she had tasked herself with keeping some order in this meeting. Between the nosy Shadowhunters who were eager to see what was going on to the High Warlock being stubborn about his attendance, it was a headache to organise.

"High Warlock Bane," Lydia greeted, her tone was welcoming though her eyes were tense, the creases strained around her eyes from it. "Thank you for agreeing to attend this meeting."

"Call me Magnus," Magnus shone with tuned pleasantry laced with sarcasm. "I wouldn't miss the opportunity to bask in the Clave's every growing wisdom."

"Your opinion will be valued," Lydia pointed out, picking up the skepticism in the warlock. "The Clave understands that perhaps our previous methods have not been effective in dealing with the Valentine Morgenstern issue."

The warlock's eyes narrowed at the wording, a skill he had developed in all his years when dealing with politicians and the like. He looked about ready to retort but Lydia was quicker to the draw. "Your skepticism has been earnt and deserved, Magnus. Though I can't speak for everyone both at this meeting and elsewhere, I personally only want to see an end to an issue that should have been dealt with over a decade ago. I want you to know that I will be listening, to all sides."

Magnus glared at her for a moment longer, holding it to see if her composure dropped before dropping his own gaze. "In any case, I only came because I had nothing better to do. If this meeting happens to actually accomplish anything, I'll count that as above my expectations."

Lydia guided the warlock into the meeting room, allowing him to find his own sit before she found her place where Maryse and Robert would be, Lydia, noting their absence, when they finally arrived. Magnus halted though before he reached his sit at the table, twisting to where Evie, Jacob, and Alec were.

"Alexander, we keep meeting like this I'm going to think the Fates are trying to tell us something." Magnus's voice was smoothed out like a velvet silk woven into a sheet as he sat beside the young assassin.

"Magnus, it's uh-," Alec started, like his breath couldn't find its way from his throat. "I didn't think you'd be coming."

The doors flew open with a consuming thud that sucked all sound from the room before Magnus had the chance to respond. In walked Maryse and Robert, faces taunt yet tired. They looked aged, either from the draw of work or from time. Neither had caught with the eyes of the four, instead, their attention remained on Lydia.

"Miss Branwell." Maryse said, her face seemed paler than Alec could remember. "Sorry for our lateness. This meeting... was unexpected on our part."

"Pleasure to see you both," Lydia ushered. "Now that everyone is here, we can begin this meeting..."

Maryse and Roberts took their seats in the room, they hadn't bothered to address the others in the room yet. Alec felt his heart start to pick up, his limbs freezing at their presence. Perhaps he could leave now without notice. He wasn't ready. He couldn't be here. He needs to...

His rapid thoughts stopped. He looked down to his jerking leg, that had been rapidly increasing in its movements with his nerves, which had now stilled because now a hand rested on it. Alec's eyes trailed up the arm to its owner. Magnus. His hand squeezed tightly but his face gave nothing away. It didn't need to, Alec felt his heart ease and the tension in him settle, though it still bundles in him. He straightened in his seat and took in a shaky breath but he didn't tempt to remove Magnus's hand and Magnus made no notion of moving it either.

Then it happened. Her eyes met his for too long to suggest it is just a passing glance, a chance. Robert too. They stilled but said nothing. Maybe they couldn't be sure, maybe they didn't want to say anything. Either way, they didn't exchange words nor looked to one another. Alec wasn't sure which would have been worse, them acknowledging or pretending they hadn't. But perhaps it was a blessing disguised as a painful shock.

"As you are all aware," Lydia started, unaware of the family reunion of parents and child. "This meeting was called due to the recent development of the Morgenstern case."

Magnus gave a small 'hmpf' but other then that didn't comment, his own reluctance to be here evident even to the most unobservant person but Magnus had no intention of hiding it.

"Recent development implies that Valentine's actions haven't been ongoing for the past decade," the younger assassin twin scoffed, his fingers drummed the table. "If we're being honest here."

"Both." Lydia conceded, grimacing slightly.

"Why are they here?" It shouldn't be surprising that Robert was the first of the two to speak. His voice was rough and grainy like sandpaper worn down, as though he hasn't spoken for a week. And his eyes seemed to match, both heavy and weary. His parents recognised Evie and Jacob immediately of course. How could they not? It's hard to forget the faces of the people who took your child away, even harder when they didn't age.  
  
"They have brought valuable information to the Clave's attention..." Lydia eased with a manner suited to a tamer of a wild horse though at times even they couldn't calm the wildest of horses.

The twins exchanged a glance before forwarding their attention to the older Lightwoods. Their indifference did nothing to quell the simmering flames in either Lightwood. They don't need to confirm nor deny the Lightwoods beliefs and just as Robert is about to tell them something along the lines of 'get the hell out of here' a cough from the only individual who had been as silent as a ghost the entire time had caught everyone's attention.

"This isn't the time for personal matters." Alec cuts in, his voice is stiff and unmoving. Levelled out in the same tone that wasn't trained at anyone, as though he was saying it to a large theatre of people inside of the few currently with him. "Focus on the issue at hand."

Lydia looked bewildered for a moment, out of place in the entire room, even Magnus pretends that he doesn't notice the suffocating shift in the room. "Right," Lydia said in agreement, slow and deliberate as though she was testing a pool of water to see if it were too cold to swim. She nodded her head, looking at the six with questioning eyes. "Miss and Mr. Frye, would you care to share what you've found."

Evie leaned forward in her seat, ignoring the wilful glares that the Lightwoods were throwing their way. "Since Valentine's 'death', our teams have been monitoring any and all activity around the Circle. It came to our attention that Valentine had tried summoning demonic entities, this was no secret, however, the assumption that he wouldn't get far in the area wasn't all that true. Before he went underground, we discovered three points of high demonic essence in his estate. Two in the weeks prior to his disappearance and the one that was presumed to have killed him."

"Our belief is that whatever Valentine was trying to do before he went dark, he's trying to do it again," Jacob continued for Evie. "We are finding similar spikes of demonic energy along with increased activity as I'm sure you've become all too familiar with now."

"That band of demons. I have never seen such a number working together before," Lydia mumbled with realisation. "You think that could have something to do with whatever Valentine has planned?"

Evie and Jacob, and perhaps even Magnus, were the only ones to notice the slight hesitation before the young assassin decided to speak up.

"I tracked the demons. They moved like they had a purpose, never stopped, not even for vulnerable mundanes but suddenly they just... stopped." Alec glanced to Evie and Jacob. "It was like they had orders to go somewhere but once they reached their destination they had no idea what to do."

All seemed to accept this explanation, talking with stressed urgency over the matter, but Magnus hadn't rushed into the debate. Instead, he chose to be a silent observer. There was something that Alec wasn't revealing, even to Evie and Jacob. His hand kept grazing his front leg pocket, itched it like he was tempted to do something. Magnus wouldn't have had the suspicion otherwise if he hadn't observed similiar behaviour before. Whether Alec would tell the other assassins later on, was another matter entirely. Magnus didn't want to presume much about Alec, after all, they barely knew each other but something was nagging at Magnus that he was right.

While the meeting dragged on, as all Clave ones tended to do, Magnus and Alec detached from it. They tuned in for a few words here and there but they tended to blur in meaning when it went in circles. Both focusing instead on Magnus's hand that laid on Alec's thigh, both for the comfort and also for whatever else Alec was keeping from the group. One thought rattled in Magnus's head. What could Alec have come across that he wouldn't reveal? What secret could be so great that he won't tell his own people and closest friends?

\-------

Alec had drifted far away from the meeting, though his ears zoned in when keywords were spoken. His moth- Maryse wouldn't take her eyes off of him and it made Alec feel restless in his own skin, his hairs prickled with the unease that she gave him. His fingers kept grazing his pocket, a tick his was becoming ever more aware of throughout the meeting. Alec would much rather be enjoying a peaceful morning, perhaps having breakfast with North now that sun had risen. That had become a routine of sort whenever he was here in Brooklyn. Instead, he was trapped in a personalised hell. Slipping out wasn't going to be an option, yet the temptation of leaving this place to slip to North's place was alluring. It wasn't too far away, after all, a twenty-minute walk if he didn't stop. If it was just him and a couple of Shadowhunters he could slip out of the room without being seen by any of them. He did realise that his thoughts were a ploy to distract himself from the fact that he was now facing his parents, a welcoming distraction. How he wished his ability to hide in plain sight could be helpful right now.

This place was his old home. He remembered the place always being warm and spacious despite the ridged cold people in it. It was no secret that the Lightwoods were always a little well-off and with their desire to flaunt that prestige they filled the rooms with their own trinkets and books that pre-dated even their knowledge. A show for anyone who was curious to know who they were. Whether this habit was still present alluded Alec, he hadn't cared to stay long enough the first time to find out. But from just glances, books, maps, antiques and passed down family heirlooms had been neatly placed around the rooms, even this formal one. Modestly organised yet clear statement pieces at the same time.

"I believe there is one final matter to discuss," Lydia said as she organised her notes which were already neatly taken down in the first place, her being the only one who had deemed to record the meeting. "While Magnus is in a position to represent the Downworld Warlock body of New York, for the time being, we still need someone from the Creed to remain as a liaison. Ideally, we'd want someone posted within the New York Institute so we could always remain in contact."

When Lydia had finished, Alec could sense how it was all falling into place. Suddenly his being here didn't seem like much of a coincidence, either that or fate was playing a cruel joke on him... a continuous joke for whoever was watching from above. The assassin knew that was where it was all leading to, him being here despite all that made him want to leave and never be a part of whatever was going on here. He wanted to repress it, act like he wasn't affected, like the emotionless and empty assassin he thought he'd become, but Alec couldn't remove that part of himself. How he couldn't help how his eyes would stray to his parents and a forlorn look would drift onto his face.

Alec had half the mind to just stand up and walk out, not even to excuse himself, but the young assassin could not move from his sit. Because it was out of duty, but every time he told himself that, it became less certain than it had been the last time. It was still duty, however much he wanted it not to be. But, no matter what Alec liked to pretend, he always had that yearning to drift back here. His thoughts always remained in this place, both the good and the bad, no matter which outweighed the other.

"Alec..." Evie said as gently as a smoothed knife could feel against soft skin.

"I'll remain." Alec stared blankly in front of himself, his tone levelled and if they didn't know Alec, perhaps they'd believe that he didn't care. "I will act as a liaison."

Lydia beamed at this, by far the easiest decision at the meeting. "Great, well I believe that was all we had to discuss for now. We'll adjourn this meeting and keep each other updated if there are any more developments." Lydia straightened up from her seat. "It was a pleasure to meet you all. I hope that this is the start of a long-lasting alliance and friendship."

Magnus seemed to glare but it was as subtle as anything, masked by his pleasant smile and warm face as he extended out his hand to her. "Of course, Ms. Branwell. This meeting has been..." He suddenly became hesitant, looking at the rest in the room in contemplation. "Enlightening, to say the least. I too hope we can maintain a friendly and open relationship..." Magnus' eyes skittered to Alec's before returning to her.

Alec looked down to his lap, sighing deeply. Whether Magnus' knew or not didn't matter. The fact that Alec didn't even know if what he had was real caused his trepidation in saying anything. It was merely a picture of the Mortal Cup, nothing more. Yet Alec had held onto it instead of burning it with the rest of the Fairchild's possessions. Now came a new problem. While he should be bringing the issue up with his own people, and for an unknown reason he felt he could trust Magnus, the Clave was another matter entirely. The irrationality wasn't something Alec could predict. And they were also distrusting. If they thought of him to be concealing the Cup from them, this 'friendship' would be over before it could even start. He would also be under the eyes of those he didn't want the attention of, many of the Clave would turn their interest to him and it was something that he truly didn't need. So, the issue presented itself; tell them now without knowing their reaction or tell them later and risk an form of alliance.

It was something that Alec had come to admire from Magnus. Magnus had never asked about his past, seeing it had made the assassin uncomfortable and was content with whatever information Alec decided to tell him. Alec was not the type to tell his story to many, not even those he considered close friends. At times, he barely thought of himself as Alec Lightwood and was almost willing to leave that name entirely, along with all the baggage that came with it. He wouldn't have to consider all those who still knew him by that name, he could very well leave and never come back. But then he remembered that, despite it all, his siblings still recognised him as Alec. And right now, that thought was enough for Alec to keep that part of himself, even if it was a snapping thread threatening to fall from him right now.

And that part of him knew the Clave the most. Alec felt like he knew how they'd react, that they would seize the Cup for the betterment of everyone else, least that would be what they would tell everyone else. But the assassin, the assassin understood that the Clave was an entity with a goal. An entity with enough bias that could sway what they would do next. The assassin cautioned Alec in his next few steps. And ultimately, the assassin stayed his hand from reaching into his pocket, easing it to his side.

"Well it's been a pleasure," Jacob said coolly when he noticed the shift in the room, his restlessness itching for him to leave. "Come on, Evie, business to attend to and such."

Lydia rose to her feet, her leave ending the meeting. Little did she know that the rest of the room wasn't following her lead. Instead, the rest of the room sit in stagnant silence, the glares shot by the Lightwoods thickening the tension in the room.

"Perhaps, I should leave..." Magnus murmured, raising his eyebrows almost in disbelief.

"Please do, Warlock." Maryse bit out quickly, spitting it out like a sour taste in her mouth.

Alec's eyes narrowed. "Don't talk like that to him," Maryse stiffened as her son talked, looking equally as shocked, maybe not expecting her son to level her own tone at her. Or maybe she still wasn't used to hearing him speak.

Still, Magnus rose to his feet to leave, clearly grasping at his opportunity to leave like a thirty-man to water. "Until next time, Alexander." Magnus fare-welled, taking his leave too and how Alec wished he could leave with the warlock. Suddenly feeling more at lost in this room.

"You two leave as well," Robert said, he seemed more reserved then Maryse right now. Calculating the response and not giving an inch of his own true intentions. It was familiar to Alec, something he could latch onto for any hope of remaining collected during this. "We'd like to have a moment with our son."

"We will leave if that is what Alec asks of us," Evie challenged, her gaze level with his through a battle of unspoken words yet neither yielded. "Alec?"

Alec looked up to Evie, he didn't show anything though she would know how difficult it must be for him, the way he stiffened at the option and his fingers scraped against his pants for it.. "I... think that it would be best to have a private conversation with the Lightwoods."

It was cold and detached and maybe Alec wanted it to come across a little more spiteful than needed for his parents. And when they looked affronted by it, Alec wouldn't deny that he felt better about it, glad that he could finally get to them in some way. It was only a little victory, insignificant really and something that wouldn't matter at the end of it. He noticed the understanding that washed over the twins, a direct contrast to his parents it seemed. They simply nodded and took their leave, but they did so with heaviness.

In the coming moments, silence washed into the room like a gushing river halting into stagnant pools, it was an encasing force that filled all their lungs. Suddenly whatever control Alec had over himself was bleeding out of him, he curled his fingers in, feeling a dangerous energy enter him.

"Alexander..." He wasn't sure who spoke first then.

"Don't," Alec's eyes flicked up to then like a predator would do when they sensed weakened prey, trained on them and tracking their movements. "If the next words out of your mouths are excuses, don't say anything for both of our sakes."

"Son, we thought we'd never see you again," Robert said solemnly, like he couldn't believe what was happening, that he was having to say the words out loud. To explain himself.

"You say that like you didn't fucking give me away." Alec spat the words out, recoiling from the two sitting across from him as they had tried to reach for him. "Dragged me from my bed that night with a packed suitcase."

"We did what we had to Alec," Maryse said, it was confident and self-assured. She believed it, that there was no other way out and it comforted her all those years, reassured her. "We had a duty as Shadowhunters. It wasn't easy to make peace with that, but we did eventually and so should you."

"You were my parents. You should have protected me." Alec searched their eyes, hoping to see some flicker of realisation in there but what was staring back at him wasn't what he sought, husks and empty pits.

"And if we had, it would have been Izzy or Max, would you have liked them to be in your place?" Robert retorted, testing an old tactic well used once more.

"Don't you dare turn this on me. Don't you put them as my responsibility, as you did back then." Alec shook his head, and just like the twang of his bowstring whatever hope he had for his parents were severed. "I would do anything to protect them and you knew that. Exploited it to make it easier on yourselves because giving your child away becomes that much easier when you tell them that they have to go for the sake of their family and they do it willingly. Something you wouldn't do and didn't do."

"The decision was out of our hands. The Creed and Clave agreed upon it without our say. We are bound by law, you know that." Robert argued like he was in a political meeting, any demeanour of a parent wasn't there, talking to Alec like he was an opponent in a meeting, and in its place was Robert Lightwood, a man of the Clave.

"Neither of you can cower behind your duty forever," Alec mumbled, shaking his head at them. "not anymore..."

"Enough, Alexander!" Maryse almost screamed, her frustration leaking out and that porcelain facade creaking under pressure. "We can't change the past... We are Shadowhunters."

"You were my parents first. That should have been enough- I thought it would have been. I use to think that you would come for me, the months afterwards were a never ending nightmare for me because I had hope that you were coming, that I wouldn't be there forever. The day I realised you weren't coming was the day you were nothing to me." The saddest thing then wasn't the fact that Maryse looked broken, her slump into the chair she was in, her bones heavy with guilt, but it was the fact that Robert didn't flinch, he steeled himself from the words, acting as though he hadn't heard them. "I'm only here because I honour my word. Because I believe that I can protect the people here. As far as I'm concerned, we aren't family."

"Please don't do this." Maryse pleaded softly, her eyes shimmering so surreal to Alec that the child in him wanted to apologise to her. Beg for her to not be sad at him. But he was too alienated from that child that he hushed its words quickly. "We can start over now, the Clave has given us this opportunity..."

"You'd only do it because the Clave has given you permission to? You continue to hide from your pasts. Never answering for it and using it to excuse any injustices. Telling Jace, Izzy, and Max that I was kidnapped?" At least they had some decency to look away in shame at that, subtle as it was, it was something that Alec noted and was glad to see. "A victim in this. No, I'm a survivor. I survived despite what you put me through. The years of wanting to be perfect but never being good enough, feeling like I was wrong, then getting tossed away like I didn't matter." Alec said with a heaviness in his voice that weighed with the words he spoke. "There's one thing I want to know though."

"What is it?" Robert asked, though his voice quivered at it. Not from sadness though from the gravity, like he was tired from it.

"Why did you never contact me?" It was softest Alec had spoken, a child speaking to their parents. "I thought- not one letter even after it happened."

They sat silent. No answer given through words though he had heard all he needed to very clearly. He stood up, walked over to where Maryse and Robert still sat like statutes sculpted into their seats and gave them an affirmative nod like he would when he was a child taking orders. They didn't react to it as they had done, nothing but a blank and torn canvas sat in those seats now. "I want you both to face what you have done, admit it. Live with it. We're done here, I'll be conducting all Creed and Clave business with Lydia, if you have any questions I suggest you save it for meetings or go through her."

Alec's eyes clouded as he left. His expression cleared and he felt himself lighten, as though a burden that had been on his shoulders for so long had been taken away, one he hadn't even realised had been there before. It was a freeing moment for him, to confront the people who he had held resentment for so long. But it didn't last and so when he was in the middle of the Institute amongst Shadowhunters who pretended they were too busy at what they were doing to stare at the strange figure in the middle of the room, he felt nothing once more. No resolution for a hate that he had held onto for so long. It was a very cold realisation that settled in the pit of Alec's stomach. Time, Alec now realised, didn't change those who stood still in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for keeping up with me guys, it's been a roller-coaster. I'd love to hear from you all so don't be afraid to comment
> 
> Chapter in a Nutshell  
> Alec: *having mental breakdown*  
> *Magnus touches him*  
> Alec: *instantly cured from Magnus' magical touch* 
> 
> Also Alec: quit your bullshit Maryse and Robert  
> Lydia: Okay... wtf is going on. Just gonna pretend I don't notice anything  
> \--  
> Lydia after meeting: wow went so well.   
> Everyone else: *wants to kill each other*  
> \--  
> Maryse+Robert: *spewing some real nonsense*  
> Evie: fight me  
> Also Alec: fight me non-fam


	12. The Revelation Between Siblings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally forgot to my little special thanks to the wonderful people who comment so here we go.
> 
> Special thank you to: RANDus97, Biltong44, Sunny1409, spitzmum, Malec, 2Rguez, always0014, SparrowHawke, Fayyebulous. Thank you all for your kind words on the previous chapter and shout out to all the new readers as well. If there is any easier way to talk to you guys about the story for questions or updates please let me know, I really want to keep the interest and all going if you readers are keen for it. 
> 
> I'm trying to work out a schedule for updating this story, once a week was what I wanted but I realistically don't think I can do it. So perhaps every fortnight would work out better for me at the least. 
> 
> Well, back to it...

Alec didn't know how long he found himself standing in the Institute with no clear objective. Should he leave? He really wanted to. But he had promised to stay as a liaison of sorts, whatever that entailed, and leaving immediately wouldn't too good. He scanned the room, spotting Lydia talking to another shadowhunter. His feet were now carrying him in her direction. If anything he could see if she needed help somewhere first before conferring with Evie and Jacob. He would have been only a few feet away from her when the last person Alec really wanted to deal with started marching over to him like he had a mission to finish, Alec's sour mood turned into a potent swirl of biting emotions that he had been building over the past day then, bitterly sitting in him.

"Alec, I can't believe you're here..." The relief that Jace had in his voice was missed by Alec who was dwelling too much on himself.

"Not by choice," Alec ground out through clenched teeth. "I'll do my best to not be too much of a bother to you though."

The fall of Jace's face was something one wouldn't associate with the cocky Shadowhunter, remorse Alec could pinpoint but he didn't care for it, pity was far too degrading for Alec to entertain at the moment. And therefore elected to ignore it. He made a step towards Lydia once more before Jace raised his hands in front of him.

"Alec, look," Jace muttered, shifting his feet underneath him, glancing around. "I think you, me and Izzy should talk. Properly, I mean. Not when we've got some world-changing stuff to deal with or a demon decides that they want to kill us. I wasn't prepared before to listen to you, I didn't want to believe what you were saying but I am now, I want to listen to you. But only if you're ready to do it, man, I'm not going to demand you to when you haven't really been given a choice in a lot of this messed up shit."

It was startling, so much so that Alec needed a moment to process everything. Alec had this sudden feeling of whiplash hit him, from his less than friendly confrontation with Maryse and Robert to Jace now listening to him, giving him that choice was like being tugged in two different directions in a tug of war. Alec simply nodded when he realised he hadn't exactly said anything to Jace and Jace was staring at him with a forlorn look of both hope and anxiety mixed in a terrible mess that clearly showed on his face. Alec had forgotten that Jace wasn't the best at hiding his emotions from everyone, despite how much he'd argue otherwise.

Jace's face shone with joy at the acceptance, the opening which Alec had given him that Alec guessed he hadn't been expecting and to be honest he wouldn't have expected it either. "Thank the Angel... I mean good. We should probably go to Izzy though, she hasn't exactly been talking to me since... last night."

They walked down the long hallway towards Izzy's door, Jace knocking on it with urgency as though he felt he was short on time or was trying to speed it up maybe. Alec pulled at the sleeves of his hooded jacket, feeling a loose thread and then intertwining it with his fingers. He jabbed at the piece of cotton with his fingers until more unravelled and soon the once unnoticeable loose thread was now dangling out of place and he cursed softly. Annoyed, he yanked at the thread until it snapped, holding it in his hand. Alec wasn't nervous. His heart certainly wasn't jittering in his chest like it had been all morning, by that standard, it was normal actually for him. He wasn't nervous at all.

The door opened in one powerful swing, forceful enough that the two could feel the shift and pull from the air, and standing on the other side stood, tall and dressed to fight with gear suggesting a hunt, was Izzy. The two stared mutely at their sister for a moment, thoughts halting mutually as they stared at the intimidating stance their sister imposed. Izzy looked vengeful, staring directly at them, a sight neither really wanted to be directed at them. But then her stern look snapped into a delightful smile, which in Alec's opinion was just as scary in an unnerving way.

"Alec!" Izzy sighed contently and Alec couldn't help but notice that she hadn't looked at Jace yet, her arms wrapped around him and the squeeze of it caused him to sputter for air a little. "I can't believe you're back and here... I thought I wouldn't see you again after Jace was being such an asshole last night and in general really."

It was such a dynamic shift. Alec had remembered this part of his old life, remembered this side of a family that he had. He hadn't dared hope that he could have it again, or that it was ever really there. Time was a tricky thing, after all, it made you remember things so differently for better and worse. To get through it he preferred to remember the worst in most things, that was how he got through most his days in the beginning. But seeing even the simplest of interactions as childish sibling spats, that cracked a smile on Alec's face. "Actually Jace suggested us having a talk. Just the three of us... as siblings." It was a weird word on the tongue to say out loud Alec realised, now that he was saying it.

Alec, who specifically, most certainly, absolutely had made it clear to them that night that he did not want to meet or see them again was there, calling them family. Reaching back out to them after all that had been said on both sides and Izzy couldn't believe it. Izzy stared blankly at her brothers for another minute before speaking.

"Well," Izzy said bluntly, her eyebrows shooting up and nodding towards her room in invitation. "Don't stand out there like you're made out of stone, get in here you two." She all but pushed them into her room, settling onto the bed and staring expectantly at them as they sat down with her. "So?"

"I suppose since I was the one who suggested this I should start," Jace spoke like he was at a support meeting, a little awkward, stilted and unsure. It was ironic, Alec supposed, that he would think that Jace would be the last person to do this sort of thing. "Alec, last time we spoke, I was just so angry, at the Creed but also at you. I... just wanted you to realise that what happened to you was wrong but you kept acting like you didn't care and accepted it. That's what got me, you accept it. But then I thought about what you said, about our parents..."

Alec took a deep breath in like he was going to speak but before he could speak though Jace continued.

"Is it true? Did they give you away?"

Izzy's eye widened almost comically, her fingernails scraping against her sheets as she curled them, "No, they can't have. They told us they couldn't do anything about it!"

"It was prearranged," Alec said, trying and struggling to think of a way to word this so his siblings would understand without overacting if that was possible now. "After their involvement with Valentine, the Clave needed to set an example. They were pressured by the Downworld as much as their own people, if they showed any bias they risked causing a revolt from the Downworld."

"How did the Creed get involved then?" Izzy asked faintly, there was some acceptance that sounded a little too close to grief. It would have been a lot for someone to accept, unbearable if they loved their parents greatly which she did, Alec didn't envy her then.

"The Creed was involved with taking down Valentine, they had kept tabs years prior on him but couldn't outright act on it until concrete evidence emerged and could be brought to the Clave. Since the Creed takes in Downworlders more so then Shadowhunters, having them deal with Maryse and Robert sat better with the Downworld community, some form of justice for their own people. But the Clave was persistent in keeping Maryse and Robert from being deruned, they didn't want to lose valuable people, but they also had children to raise. So a compromise was made, they had to lose something just as important as their runes."

"You." Jace closed his eyes in revelation.

"Well, really it could have been any of us but they thought since I was the oldest, I could cope better." Alec had wanted that to come out as some sort of comfort but he realised it wouldn't, it sounded too wrong out loud. A twisted justification that was spewed to him from his parents.

"By the Angel..." One muttered under their breath.

"Don't think that I'm not just as angry at the Creed as you are, taking a child away from their family is always deplorable, nothing can justify the actions of either but I've come to find that I can live with it but it wasn't easy at first." Alec stuttered a moment, it was one of the first times he felt like he was exposing too much of himself. Like parts of himself were being peeled back but he was doing it. "I feel that I am doing some good here and that helps, for the most part, sometimes it's not always clear that it is the right thing to do but in the end, you remind yourself that if you didn't do it something worse could happen."

"How could they just decide your life like that? It's not fair!" Izzy was surging with anger at that moment and Alec could swear that his sister seemed to shimmer with it, as it radiated off of her, from fury or sadness though he could not tell. They needed to get them away from this, Alec thought. It wasn't good to dwell on the past for too long. Alec knew that the Lightwoods were fiercely protective of each other and such a betrayal angered his siblings, they were very likely to storm out of this room right now and confront Maryse and Robert right now- or worse perhaps they'd go directly to Evie and Jacob if they could- about this. Alec wasn't ready for that whole ordeal yet, and his siblings weren't quite ready to accept that he did consider the Creed around his family. It was a delicate matter that one wrong shift would smash it. Alec shifted his feet uncomfortably as a silence reigned on after what Izzy said.

"It's complicated," Alec settled for because it was, as most situations were, seeing his sister and Jace's eyes narrow in at him but to his relief they didn't try to go against his response.

"That memory-" Alec's heart started to jump. "- how long ago was that?" Jace said, looking at him keenly though he tried to hide it poorly. Alec didn't blame him for his curiosity.

Alec chewed the corner of his lip. "I would," A cough. An intake of nervous breath. "I would have been fifteen at the time."

"And they made you..." Jace started with the same anger that was in him the night before and Alec knew he had to snuff it out just as quickly as it seemed to brew within his brother.

"They didn't make me." Alec cut him off sharply. "I chose to go on those missions. I was ready, I had trained. Just like any Shadowhunter going on patrol."

"We never trained to kill people though..." Izzy whispered.

"They weren't people," Alec argued vehemently. "You didn't see everything. The things they did to children and other people. No person would do that."

Izzy stared with her dark orbs boring into her older brother, trimmed and plucked eyebrows lowering over her eyes. "All right then, brother. This has been a lot. But at least we are here as a family again- wait, you're not leaving again, are you? Surely, you could stay for a little while longer."

"Hmm," Alec said vaguely like he was unsure of the already certain prospect. "I'm staying here. Been assigned here until further notice."

Izzy and Jace seemed to eagerly sit on their seats. The excitement from them was something Alec wasn't akin to seeing nor feeling, it was as if their energy was in some way flowing to him like a second-hand high. It bubbled and popped, encasing his being in a strangely comforting way. He paused, sure that they would spew that energy vocally, and anticipated it. Yet Jace and Izzy sat in place patiently, sitting like restrained children too eager to give input to a class discussion yet too cautious to speak out of turn.

"Neither of you talking is more concerning then if a demon were able to get into this Institute," he remarked, his eyes chasing between the two for a tell of why with a glint of unease that was barely noticeable.

Izzy seemed to take the lead, but Alec knew that was more because Jace was putting her first more than a show of apathy. Alec couldn't connect with Jace like he used to, perhaps both involuntarily and voluntarily at the same time, but he had an understanding of Jace that no one else did. Jace knew Izzy needed this and at the same time, so did Alec.

"We are happy more than anything that you are staying here, with us," Izzy implored. "But we know..."

"You didn't choose it." Jace finished heavily.

Alec's suspicion faded, a serious look coming over his face. "You're right. I didn't- don't want to stay here. But that doesn't mean I don't want to be around either of you."

The worried looks on his siblings face faded and they smiled at Alec. "It's so good to hear you say that." the heaviness in his sister's voice vanish and the dark-haired shadowhunter smiled. "What happened anyway? Everyone at the Institute is on edge."

"More so then usually she means." Jace quipped. "Which is really saying something."

"The Clave." Alec answered. "And the Creed, apparently have come to an agreement about Valentine, a working partnership."

"You think it'll work?" Jace asked.

"When I see it," Alec pointed out. "From the sounds of it, this 'alliance' is little more than a formality. Knowing both sides, they won't be putting much faith in this alliance to work."

With that, the siblings sat in solidarity, none of the Nephilim in the Institute taking heed to the unification of the Lightwood siblings.

  
\--------

  
When they got back to their office, a heavy air reigned like thick smog around them. Neither said anything for the longest of times, not even moving an inch or shuffling of the feet. Robert was the first to make a step but it was so jarring the sound that he didn't move to make another one, no matter if he was starting to ache from the position. The usual pacing he did when he needed to think, hands tightly clutched behind his back as he pivots on one foot to make laps, wasn't working for him today.

  
Maryse stared at her desk, from end to end covered in papers, weapons leaning against the sides in preparation for the next unknown. Maryse had a sneaking suspicion she'd make use for them sooner rather than later from the turn of events. Hopefully, she could sort through it enough so it wouldn't be such a heavy burden on her shoulders to bear, but nothing is ever guaranteed when it comes to these uncertain times, Maryse knew that more than most. But now she was going to be watched more carefully than ever with the... Creed here.

  
Alexander.

Her son.

  
There's a striking contrast in her heart that hits her just as suddenly as he had appeared today, that contrast leaving her feeling rather sick in the pit of her stomach. All her thoughts, running around like ants in a colony that barely know the direction or the purpose of what to do next. She only knew so much, the Clave would only tell her so much, their secrets weaving into her life through instructions and orders that she would follow without question. But the mother? She called those secrets lies venomously, not a direct benefit for anyone else but themselves.

  
It isn't long before she can't bare not saying anything. The weight of it sinking further into her, the urge to get it out so strong that it sits in the back of her throat waiting to claw its way out of her. "He's here."

  
"Maryse," Robert whispers while keeping his chin up, his resolve hardening as he finds the words. "We need to think clearly right now, we can't let this-"

  
"He's our son Robert!"

  
"Was!"

  
Maryse turned, barely moving on her feet as she stared at her husband. "I think it's time for you to return to Alicante."

  
"Maryse..." Robert starts, shifting like he was going to move towards her but he didn't.

  
"I'm sure you have some more important business to handle there." She doesn't seem to be acknowledging him until she hears the door click behind him as he leaves the room, leaving the room in a thickening silence.

  
Looking back to her desk, Maryse's eyes do a once over of the piling papers there, pinching the bridge of her nose. She makes her way over to it, collapsing in the chair but making no move to work on the papers. By the end of the day, not a dent was made in those papers. The office stood like a snapshot in time, frozen as the woman in it sat with a whirlwind of thoughts that never left her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the lack of Magnus in this chapter, I miss his magical presence too. I just had to work through the 'real' Lightwood sibling reunion and of course the aftermath of the meeting with Maryse and Robert. As you may tell Maryse might be a little easier to deal with then Robert in future chapters. God, this family has so many issues to deal with...
> 
> Basic Summery of the chapter:
> 
> Alec: fml, done with all this shit  
> Jace: Hello my brother!  
> Alec: Bitch since when did I give you permission to talk to me
> 
> Izzy: *Pretends Jace is non-existence* Hello Alec!
> 
> Jace: So, I would like to start this therapy session...  
> Alec: *reveals bombshell of parent's bullshit of throwing him away to save their own asses*  
> Also Alec: But I am fine.   
> Izzy and Jace: *Rage mode activate*
> 
> Mayrse: My baby is home  
> Robert: Lol what son?  
> Maryse: *Rage mode activate*


	13. Outsider's Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to these people: Biltong44, Rainbowunicornwhale, Fayyebulous, Sunny1409, always0014, poisonivy1998, Peekabloodyboo, SparrowHawke, MadamoiselleRomanova, and ThatWasPointless for their kind words and support that pushes me through this. It is always great to come back and see what people have to say. 
> 
> So after a long break over Christmas, I'm back! I'm currently feeling a little lazy and not wanting to move so that does mean I will be working on this story for the next couple of days. Yesterday I went back to my tattoo artist and got a touch up on my thigh piece and thought 'why not' and got a flower under my collarbone, because I just can't help myself. And then my artist is trying to convince me to do a full sleeve on my leg and my willpower is weak so I went hell yes! And now I'm trying to come up with what to get next to add on to it. 
> 
> But any way, I want to thank everyone for your amazing support and understanding with this story. I do write this for fun and to try and improve whatever skill I actually have with writing (very little) but that also means I don't write continually and everyday. That does mean updates won't be regular all the time, though I will try, I'd much prefer to write and enjoy it then to force out crap I don't like. 
> 
> Also, if people do want to send me prompts for stories/one-shots, I'd be totally open to that. I'd say send them to my tumblr parabataibros but if you guys know a better place for me to get prompts then suggest away. I'd be willing to do Shadowhunters and Supernatural at the moment. I was put off of Supernatural for so long since they had some shit seasons where Castiel was treated like garbage but I've rewatched it all and fallen back in love.
> 
> And finally, this is unbeta'd so tell me if there is any mistakes. I once wrote a Supernatural fic where I had Bobby spelt Booby and the sentence went along the lines of ' we must protect Booby' and that was left up for months before a dear reader pitied me and told me. I am forever horrified and shamed from such an experience, so don't get any ideas from that and do the same.

When the early morning had dawned, the siblings had found their peaceful reunion short lived, Clary had run in a state that mixed excitement and shock, the conflict tearing at her face like a game of tug-of-war. And now the four stared intently at once an insignificant pendant, it swung in the air from Jace's hand with four pairs of eyes staring at it as if they expected for it to suddenly burst with magic, perform a feat of awe for them.

"And she spoke to you?" Jace asked as he looked from the pendant to Clary.

"She said my name." Clary sighed with bewilderment, her own words came out as though she couldn't believe herself. "We talked. She said to keep those I trust close but she was okay."

"I've been saying that," All Alec gets from that comment is a glare from the newest shadowhunter, sighing and shrugging his shoulders."Well, I have. You just chose not to believe it."

"And she can speak to you," Izzy can see Alec begin to frown as she asks the question. "Through the necklace, even in the Institute."

Alec frowned further as he stared at the pendant, the assassin ticking with worried nerves. His mind flooded with too many possibilities about how this could blow up in all of their faces. "It's a portal shard."

"That must be why your mother made sure you had," Jace gestures into the air with his free hand to the pendant, staring back at Clary.

"I only know what I saw..." another breath, Clary purses her lips together, not sure she knows how to explain what happened when she was pulled to her mother. "My mother's alive and safe."

"Do not make any more contact with her. I mean it," Alec crosses one arm over the other, and now he looks like the epitome of stern, one eyebrow arched as though to emphasis his point. "Under no circumstances can you use that for another 'chat'."

"Come on, Alec." Jace's tone is light, but there's an underlying uncertainty to it. "Lighten up a little."

"I'm trying to make sure that she doesn't risk both her mother and an assassins' position," Alec argues. "Valentine could easily tap into a connection like that if he was looking to. What exactly could you see from that connection? A location. Anything?"

"I saw my mother. That's what I saw." Clary's temper flared.

"You're letting your emotions distract you." annoyed, Alec pauses for a second to collect himself. "You can't let them rule your every action, control them."

"And how's that working out for you?" Clary shot back, her eyes glazing over at him. The tremble that laid in her hands a stark contrast to the blaze of defiance in her eyes.

Jace stepped forward then, placing a hand on Clary's forearm and pulling her back slightly. A caution and a warning, though it did nothing to calm down the young Fairchild. Jace watched his brother with an amount of uncertainty and anticipation, waiting for a reaction that never came along.

"It's my job to protect your mother and now this Institute. If there is a link that can show either, then that's a door I must close," sighing, the assassin walks over to them, his hand outreached to Jace. "Let me have a look at it." When the pendant is within reach, Alec takes the pendant from Jace, looking at the shard more closely and then pocketing it.

Raising an eyebrow, Jace inquires with that rather simple gesture alone.

"Now it's in the right hands." Though Alec doesn't make to move, Clary looks about to tackle him if given the chance to.

"Hey!" Clary huffs, her hands on her hips as she stares at him expectantly, waiting as though she thought he would give it back to her.

"Alec's right," Izzy gestures to the pendant with a single finger, causing the two opposite to listen to whatever point she was inevitably going to make, "Right now that thing can do more harm than good. Valentine could be using it as a way to trace your mother if he believes she still has the Cup without you even knowing."

"So why doesn't he tell us where my mother is. Get to her before Valentine can," A laugh almost bubbles in Alec's throat, if only the situation wasn't so serious and he wasn't becoming increasingly annoyed by this conversation.

"I'm not explaining how bad of an idea that is." Alec drawled out.

"Clary, maybe..." Jace starts, Clary turning on him suddenly, eyeing him with disbelief.

"No," huffing, Clary adjusts her posture and shakes her head at him. "It's just... I just want to find her."

"And you will. And I also know my brother can be a real pain in the ass, that certainly hasn't changed," Izzy comes forward gently, casting a knowing glance towards Alec before he concedes. "But he does mean well and that necklace is far too dangerous."

"So I take that risk on my own."

"You're not alone anymore Clary," Jace emphasised.

"You're a part of us now," Izzy added on.

Alec looked to the floor, turning his attention away from the quite touching moment. The words can seem harmless from an outsiders perspective, but they held a new meaning for him now. For the longest time, he had felt excluded from their world and soon actively avoided it, seeing his family continue their life had helped him distance that life he once had. If had a penny for the amount times he had had to remind himself though... well he'd be much richer then Magnus, he'd imagine. That might be exaggerating it a little, but to Alec, it's the most accurate statement he could come up with on the matter.

"You both are."

Jace's statement makes Alec stare up, staring blankly at him for too long to be the seconds that it actually was. Uncrossing his arms, the hanging limbs swayed uselessly at his sides. He didn't even get the chance to reply before he's pulled into a makeshift group hug with the others. To Alec, it seems like he had no other choice in the matter, bound to suffer through this group comradery moment. But in reality, he could and stayed for however long the group remained in unified silence before they pulled apart.

"Thank you," Clary sighed, giving them a small yet appreciative smile. "I- I just wish I knew what to do. All of it is so new and all I know is I want to be with her."

"We get it." Izzy nodded understandably. "You love her. More than anything in the world and now that she's not with you, it's like a part of you has been ripped out."

Was that what it was like for them? Did they feel just like he had? He had blocked his heartbreak in the end. But did they stew with it? Let it sit with them for so long it ate away at them?

Alec breaks the silence.

"Don't let it eat away at you. Close it off if you have to. The stronger you are, the faster you can get your mother back."

"It's not like I've been given a choice," exhaling but not accusing. It was a sound of defeat in impossible circumstances.

"Come on," Izzy extends her hand out. "Come walk with me and tell me everything about your mother." The two left with hands clasped together as though they were anchored together for equal support.

"So, what now?" Jace turned to Alec.

"You're not going on patrol?"

"Not right now." Jace paused. "What about you?"

"I should report in but that could wait."

"Wanna spar?" Jace asked, a gleam dancing on his face as he dared to glance at Alec to search for an answer. Alec raised an eyebrow in return.

\--------

Fights, Alec found, were much like sprints. A moment of extreme physical strain that leaves you breathless and alone. At that moment, the finish line is all that you can imagine. The fall of your opponent was your goal, your finish line every time.

The wooden shaft glided underneath Alec's hands as he held it. He hadn't sparred in a while, the idea of doing so was both exciting and unnerving. He didn't doubt Jace's abilities, he doubted his own ability to know when to stop. Spars, when he was a Shadowhunter, had almost been fun, an outlet. As an assassin, however, he was told not to stop. He had trained against people who wouldn't die from a simple stab wound or a crushed windpipe. They could get back up. Jace wouldn't.

"You're not backing out are you?"

"Of course not." However, Alec moved with hesistated grace. "Jace I could hurt you, I haven't sparred for fun in a long time and when I did spar it didn't end just when my opponent was on the ground."

Jace didn't laugh at Alec's concern like Alec had expected him too, like the Jace he remembered might have done. Instead, he contemplated Alec's worries with a thoughtful expression. Jace hadn't forgotten what he had seen that night when they first saw Alec again, how deadly and dangerous he was. His parabatai had done nothing but kill and incapacitate those he fought for nine years. The thought was heavy on Jace.

"You won't, Alec." Jace said with such confidence that it suited the Jace Alec remembered so well. "I trust you not to." Jace paused for a moment, going over his thoughts before he spoke. "I don't know, maybe you could show me some of those assassin-y moves of yours? Your fighting style?"

From what Jace saw, Alec used evasion to his advantage but such a move couldn't hold against opponents who were physically stronger and faster. Jace had known Shadowhunters to spend their lifetimes trying to master techniques and skills that Alec had done in a relative few years. Shadowhunters trained. But Alec fought like he had been in a war for his whole life, almost as though he was born to do. His fighting style was ingrained into his very being, like an extension of himself, something only a few could hone in themselves.

Alec grimaced. "What I can do, you won't be able to," Alec added slowly. "At least it's not easy to train someone to do it, it took me a long time to be able to do it. You won't bend and move the way I can; even with our natural speed and flexibility. But I can show you a few other tricks, pressure points, maybe even some gun training..."

"You can use a gun? Isn't that a mundane thing?" Jace's nose crinkled.

"We do have mundanes in the Creed." Alec reminded him.

"Bet the Clave isn't happy about that."

"When are they ever happy." Alec retorted. "You'd be surprised how useful runed bullets are when fighting demons."

"Well if it works," Jace stated, grinning like a child, too mischievous to not suspect as being up to something. "I'd do it. But first, let's see how you can spar. I wonder if you're still a sore loser."

Alec mirrored his eager smile, the nervousness leaving his eyes for now. Jace trusted him not to hurt him, and was curious to see how he fought, despite how foreign it was to the Shadowhunter. Thanks to the igniting smouldering acceptance, the olive branch, that his parabatai had offered, Alec grew more comfortable in a place that had grown alien to him.

Jace picked a wooden shaft now. If Alec were to strike the body, he first needed to visualise it and break it down. Head, throat, shoulder, arms, wrists, hand, stomach... If he hit Jace, what would he do? Slide or stumble? Where would Jace retaliate? Jace was the first to swing. He leaned in and made to jab at Alec's side, solar plexes. Alec leaned out of it, pivoting his feet round Jace like an unprecedented hurricane, too fast to stop and his footwork so precise it seemed too planned to be improvised. And suddenly Alec knew what to do.

An average fight would only last thirty seconds. A fight with Alec? Well, Jace was maxing out at five if Alec decided to finish it now. One targeted strike and Jace would be down in an instant. So, Alec struck and his parabatai crumpled to the floor in an instance. Pressure points were a wonderful thing to know. Alec kept still, waiting for Jace to move again.

"You're not going easy on me?" Jace quirked an eyebrow to Alec in question as though he wasn't the one struggling on the floor to stand.

"Course not." Alec said simply.

"Good, cause I was."

A small audiance of Shadowhunters gathered. They watched as Jace stood once more against his unknown opponent. The figure doesn't move in response expect to shift his feet to face his opponent. A strike and parry. A strike and parry. Lather, rinse, repeat. By the end of it, Jace was huffing, sweat beaded on his forehead as he rolled from the floor once more. It flowed so smoothly that it seemed like a rehearsed play for an audience. He stared at Alec. He stumbled in his footwork as he prepared his stance to launch once more. But this time, Alec struck, moving behind with two steps, swinging the staff at the bend of Jace's knees before spinning and pinning the wooden staff against his throat.

"I wouldn't call that," A puffed intake of breath," sparring, Alec."

"You wanted to see me fight." He didn't sway from his position, keeping his eyes intently on his parabatai. "If you can exhaust your opponent without swinging your weapon, it can be an easy win. Let them tire themselves out before you do."

Humming in agreement, Jace couldn't deny the point in his current situation.

Alec lifted the staff, offering a hand to Jace. Jace reached out in return, and when the two were finally standing they took in the new audience that was drawn in and teetering around them in peaked interest. Alec becomes all too aware of how many eyes are suddenly glued to him, Jace also, but there was a keen interest in the new person. It was a feeling he had grown to be inherently uncomfortable with. With some they wore the look of morbid fascination, others it was sharp caution. He couldn't blame them. But then there was something more interesting to gape at and just as soon as the Shadowhunters' attention had been on the fight they turned eyes to the newest commotion, thought this one had them pretending they were interested in anything but it. And when Alec saw, he could understand why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it was bonding moments all round here. I definitely think they needed it; all of them.
> 
> Chapter in a Nutshell;
> 
> Clary: Guys, I can talk to my Mum! Isn't this great!
> 
> Alec: Wtf bitch no. give me that shit 
> 
> Also Alec: Just let me look at it; promise I wont immediately take it and never give it back
> 
> Jace: Seems legit to me here *hands necklaces over*
> 
> Alec: *immediately takes it with no intent to give it back* bitch you just got pranked. haha got 'em 
> 
> -
> 
> Robot Alec: Emotions are a distraction. Control them
> 
> Clary: Son, you ain't controlling shit. How's them apples
> 
> Jace: oh shit stop you two
> 
> Ten seconds later
> 
> Izzy: We're a family. All of us *stares at Alec*
> 
> Alec: The fuk is this shit in my chest.
> 
> Izzy: Emotions
> 
> Alec: Take 'em back
> 
> -
> 
> Jace: *Preparing to show off* Pfft I was going easy. Imma bout to beat your ass.
> 
> Also Jace: *Immediately on his ass* tis but a scratch
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed. Don't forget to comment and kudos is you did. See you all next time!


End file.
